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Who here has a successful relationship with an NT?

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tinmaiden
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19 Mar 2010, 4:26 pm

My boyfriend could probably be considered NT; he's medicated for ADHD, but he is not on the autism spectrum. He's good to me, patient, and seems to like me despite my eccentricities.


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FreeSpirit2000
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26 Mar 2010, 8:29 pm

DavidM wrote:
Fiz wrote:
I'm in a relationship with a non-autistic and, if you judge success by the number of years, then we have a successful relationship as we have been together for 3 and a half years. However, I feel somewhat taken for granted/unappreciated as I have made sacrifices for the sake of his relationship whereas he has made none. So in this sense, I already feel like I've lost him somewhere along the line but can't bear to let him go. So emotionally, at the moment, it is unsuccessful.



This, folks, is why autistic men should not become emotionally involved with 'normal' women. Notice that she said she made sacrifices for 'his' relationship, not 'our' relationship.

My experience has been that women have no sexual feelings for introverted/autistic men, but rather they begin by pitying them intensely, treating them like a big cuddly toy, but as time goes on they feel total repulsion for him because he will never be able to provide her with security, children, nice cars, social status, and so on.

My own mother once told me that I should buy an Eastern European bride. Don't be fooled by a woman showing kindness towards you. If you can't be on equal footing with a woman in a relationship, don't bother going after them at all.

When I talk to a woman, even if she finds me physically attractive, it usually takes less than 2 minutes for signs of disgust to appear on her face. 'This guy isn't right; I bet he has no money, is poor in bed, and just isn't cool. I don't want to be lumbered with such an uncool boyfriend. Give me a bad boy any day of the week, a guy who can show me a great time.'

And there it is. Sexual relationships are as much off-limits as friendships and jobs. Nobody is interested; nobody knows that I even exist.

It wouldn't surprise me if this girl uses her autistic 'boyfriend' as an emotional punching bag.


All i can say is that depending on the AS person's level of issues, some women may run off, some might not, it all depends. I am an AS college student myself, starting to get As/Bs in my classes, and I guess a great majority of AS people don't care about material things and financial freedom. But I am a rare case and I really want to be the type of person later in life who owns a big house and a nice car (like a BMW, Mercedes, Porsche, Jaguar, etc.) I can say that I am a rarity for someone who has AS, I have fashion sense, I can get along practically with everyone, I usually ignore people who try to cause drama and you can say I am the top of the top. It is all in your attitude and mentality that makes you up as a person.



JazzofLife
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10 Apr 2010, 9:51 am

Asp-Z wrote:
I do, my girlfriend is NT :)

Hows about the rest of you? Any other Aspies/auties in relationships with NTs? How's it going? :)


Define "successful."


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JStrader
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08 May 2010, 5:19 am

My wife is an NT. We've been together for a year now and everything's great.



zen_mistress
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08 May 2010, 6:29 am

DavidM wrote:
Fiz wrote:
I'm in a relationship with a non-autistic and, if you judge success by the number of years, then we have a successful relationship as we have been together for 3 and a half years. However, I feel somewhat taken for granted/unappreciated as I have made sacrifices for the sake of his relationship whereas he has made none. So in this sense, I already feel like I've lost him somewhere along the line but can't bear to let him go. So emotionally, at the moment, it is unsuccessful.



This, folks, is why autistic men should not become emotionally involved with 'normal' women. Notice that she said she made sacrifices for 'his' relationship, not 'our' relationship.

My experience has been that women have no sexual feelings for introverted/autistic men, but rather they begin by pitying them intensely, treating them like a big cuddly toy, but as time goes on they feel total repulsion for him because he will never be able to provide her with security, children, nice cars, social status, and so on.

My own mother once told me that I should buy an Eastern European bride. Don't be fooled by a woman showing kindness towards you. If you can't be on equal footing with a woman in a relationship, don't bother going after them at all.

When I talk to a woman, even if she finds me physically attractive, it usually takes less than 2 minutes for signs of disgust to appear on her face. 'This guy isn't right; I bet he has no money, is poor in bed, and just isn't cool. I don't want to be lumbered with such an uncool boyfriend. Give me a bad boy any day of the week, a guy who can show me a great time.'

And there it is. Sexual relationships are as much off-limits as friendships and jobs. Nobody is interested; nobody knows that I even exist.

It wouldn't surprise me if this girl uses her autistic 'boyfriend' as an emotional punching bag.


I think you need to read her post again. She is the aspie and he is the NT.


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roryboryalice
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09 May 2010, 2:26 am

[b] I am new to the forum.
I agree. NTs can be disfunctional also.
What I wish to know as a NT myself is: Can it work & what do I need to know to help make it work?
My BF is not diagnosed, but I have done the research, spoken to others with ASD, went to a lecture from a local author with it (and brought a friend who knows my BF who also feels he may have it). Now, since he is at this point, not willing to get a diagnosis (but not upset I have talked with him on this & considering the possibility), I need to try.
I would like to know what others feel I should do to try to understand.
Feel free to ask me anything.
Thank You



JazzofLife
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17 May 2010, 8:50 pm

After this past weekend, I know if I am in a relationship with a NT it could be very successful.


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Interests: Music, great outdoors (beach/mountains), cooking/baking, philosophy, arts/sciences, reading, writing, sports, spirituality, Green, sus


HopeGrows
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17 May 2010, 9:26 pm

JazzofLife wrote:
After this past weekend, I know if I am in a relationship with a NT it could be very successful.


Must have been a great weekend! :wink:


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JazzofLife
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17 May 2010, 10:23 pm

HopeGrows wrote:
JazzofLife wrote:
After this past weekend, I know if I am in a relationship with a NT it could be very successful.


Must have been a great weekend! :wink:


It was :wink: ...go to my thread, "Asking women out...." under "Love and Dating" and read the very long post, and enjoy munching on a bag of popcorn while you're at it. Then, you'll understand why I know if I am in a relationship with a NT it could be very successful, Hope :)


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Scott
"The Jazz of Life - the only way to live life"

Dx'd with AS and AD/HD Combined in 2007

Interests: Music, great outdoors (beach/mountains), cooking/baking, philosophy, arts/sciences, reading, writing, sports, spirituality, Green, sus