Help Tim Tex attract a partner

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I still don't understand why similar religion is a must-have for some people. I mean, yeah, it would be nice to be the same religion (more common interest), but as long as im comfortable with my religious views, she is comfortable with hers, and we're not continuously trying to convert each other, then there shouldn't be a problem, right?

I know people who are Jewish and Catholic and they are happy together.

I both agree and disagree.
There has been a lot of focus on the end game, and the intermediate steps are now what's more important. Agreed. However, those intermediate steps are, as I see it, the purpose of this thread. Once we have a better sense of who he is, we can help him find good, manageable steps. The endgame had to be covered for the sake of establishing a destination - a necessity, as it is not a 'given.' And now, from talking to Tim about the specifics more, we can find the right route.
This thread is not ill-conceived, since we will be constructive, and detail-oriented.


You might initially scoff at my suggestion, but please hear me out:
You should change where you shop to locations that are smaller, more like a guys' boutique. At least for one complete outfit. Small, independent stores. The primary reason can be summed in one word: FIT.
Clothes that fit better look better. By comparison, clothes from JCP or Wal-Mart do not fit well, as they are cranked out from a 3rd world factory, where quantity is emphasized over quality. The fit of the garment, as well as it's quality of construction, is generally what takes the biggest hit.

Big chain clothes store still have garments that seem to look good on the catalogs and mannequins, however it's because those garments are either tailored in advance, pinned carefully, or carefully chosen and positioned. The garments off-the-shelf, however, very often do not hold up aesthetically in the real-world, with all the movement and various body types.

In comparison, if you can find clothes made by smaller companies, or made by designers who put an emphasis on quality of construction, they are more likely to fit better(if the garment has a size or fit that was made for your body type). They feel better, they mould to you better, move better. They LOOK BETTER.
And women often notice if you're paying attention to this particular detail. And as a final benefit, these independent garments tend to look a bit more cool too. Even while retaining your desired style. These are all very good boons.

But I wont lie, there's a big downside: They cost more(for good reason).
I don't suggest shopping exclusively at these expensive shops. However, I do suggest solidly trying to get ONE carefully arranged outfit of high quality clothes. Preferably, shirt, undershirt(if needed), pants, and JACKET(I would argue that, while wearing it, the jacket is the most prominent piece of an outfit).
If you find an outfit that speaks to you, fits well, and makes you feel more confident, you won't be sorry. And women WILL notice.

This is something I learned(with difficulty) from an ex-GF a number of years ago. She ended up eventually getting into the professional fashion industry, so it turns out she knew what she was talking about...

Focus on clothes might seem superficial. However, it is a fact that people garner a vast part of their first impression based on clothes. Clothes speak volumes about a person. Since the first impression is generally us Aspies' greatest hurdle, then this is something that deserves a lot of focus and consideration.

Let me know what you think.

*Edit, one more thing - If you decide to give this a whirl, look for clothes from an ensemble perspective, rather than looking at individual garments that seem good. Choose a jacket first(if you're willing to buy that). Second, choose your pants, and make sure those pants look particularly excellent against the jacket. Finally, pick the shirt. Go in that order. Also, shoes that match the ensemble would be great too. But, again, don't pick a garment based on it's individual merit. Choose it for how it works with the other items, and look at it as a whole. This can be your Date outfit, or an oufit you feel would look great in a photo opportunity. You don't need to buy more than one if you don't want to, but this outfit is made specifically for a good first impression. It's a portal people can easily go through so that they can get to know you better on the inside.

I'd also suggest taking that same ensemble perspective with you when you next hit JCP or Wal-Mart.

look for someone who hates richard dawkins. and is INTELLECTUALLY and emotionally involved in it. there are clever people who disagree with dawkins, and a number of them are moral.

Kakhis are a much better alternative to shorts. Smart jeans are also good if you wear them. Either can be paired with a casual style short sleeved shirt worn open at the collar and look very presentable.
Generally women tend to like men who look as if they have made an effort but you don't need to go overboard with it. A bit like the way women tend to like men who smell clean but can get put off by over-strong scents/aftershave etc.
The Range made an awful lot of posts and I wouldn't go with much that he wrote, but if the haircut that you have in your pic is the one you still have, I would suggest going for the crew cut he suggested as having your hair shorter on top would suit your face shape. Don't go too short, but reducing the length on top would be good.



Sounds pretty good actually - keep at it - Blokes who like to do stuff as opposed to holing themselves up in a room with their computer games are far more likely to attract women. Things like movies and travelling give you far more to talk to women about


I hope that's more constructive than some of the posts have been Tim.

He~y, that's an action!

I can tell you what the problem is right now, and there's nothing that'll fix it barring lady luck throwing everything his way:

ASD

Oh, Lordie!!

HEY!

Do you love Jesus, kinky sex, and South Park?

i was raised catholic and dated a jewish girl for awhile. i actually wanted to convert. temple was fun didnt make me hate myself like catholic service

I'm not trying to tell tim tex what to do, i'm just throwing some ideas around for him. The only reason this thread has turned out worse than it needed to be is because of people getting pent up about nothing.

Just goes to show you cant get anywhere online without people being stupid about things. Maybe I will PM Tim Tex with my ideas instead.

why dont you date him? saves the effort of trying to figure out his positives and negitives

It was the original intent of this thread that was ill advised, and also possibly the notion that you can't question Tim requirements (I will explain shortly). However like all threads there is potential with a slight change of direction.

My assessment of Tim and his running with people trying help him is as follows:

He has had great difficulty with not generalising about situations. He makes associations like NT, AS, Liberal, Conservative and is unable not to see things in anything other purely absolute and dialectical way.

Has no one considered the fact that he simply is not able to understand uniqueness of situations to this degree? Some people can be bright but have a complete mental bock in certain areas.

Instead of those people shouting him saying he "Just doesn't get!", well maybe that's because he can't. Another possibility is that he has limited understanding now, but starting with simpler examples and working toward more complex ones, he might be able to learn eventually.

He has already had two relationships at least and also an encounter. So He is not useless at finding someone. They may not have turned as he had hoped. But attraction is only a partial issue. General expectations, and the expectations of a potential partner needs to be understood by him.

Another observation is his independence of views, choices and interest is pretty limited and superficial. I may be exaggerating slightly but there is definitely an obvious theme here. His previous explanations of why he holds his convictions and interests are lacklustre and reactionary. He has a tenancy to flip-flop between dialectical views (oblivious to irony) whenever he has been unable to reconcile his present situation. He hasn’t considered the fact that these have only have some, sometimes no influence over the problem. I have urged him in the past to try and develop independent views and interests. Yes there is a valid argument as to what constitutes real independence, but in previous posts he has come to collusions based on based on weak associations, and flash reactions, and very little of the decision making on these qualitative themes seems to be contextually based or thought through. This has produced strong reactions and ‘face palming’ from forum members in the past.

So I’m putting my thinking cap on as to how to help with this. If you say do something, Tim is a great sport he will give it a go. However it is quite hard to explain complex ideas, and know if they are truly being understood.

I don’t think we can assume we will be able to help with either of the related points. However we can certainly try. We do need to consider the consequences. Also why are people wanting to do this really? He is by no means the first and won’t be the last person on this board that will make these types of complaints. Would people being doing this if he wasn’t so affecting?

In any event there is nothing particularly wrong with Tims current requirements. I can’t say his previous ones were ‘wrong’ either, just more limiting perhaps. However the list alone means nothing, it depends on the person, and whether they are capable of reconciling it with their situation. This is where Tim really has trouble. Given above, you have to consider the true motivations for the new list.

So maybe there is a valid reason to change/tweak the requirements to balance preferences to the ability to handle the complexity of the situations that may arise.

Another thing about these lists, is they only mention some preferences as the person conceives it in that point in time. People may think they want one thing, but in fact they want something totally different.

I promised not to say anything more to Tim, but I have something to say to the last poster. Tim is 30 years old. And to his credit, I've never heard him use his autism as an excuse. As a matter of fact, he's said many times his aspergers is mild compared to most.

The reason he generalizes is because he's a hypocritical christian who breaks the number one rule, don't judge anyone lest you be judged. He's more than capable, if he has a college degree, of making rational observations, he just doesn't want to.

Also, like it or not, while I was too harsh earlier and letting my view of Tim get in the way, it's a fact, not an opinion, that most women would prefer that a man has a haircut that suits him, and doesn't shop at walmart or jcpenney for clothes. Polo shirts are extremely unattractive. Women also like men who aren't holier-than-thou and a constant whiner. This isn't exactly reinventing the wheel here.

Tim wants a particular girlfriend. If he really wants it, and doesn't just want to talk about it...I'm sorry, getting a better haircut and going to the Gap instead of Walmart to buy clothes isn't exactly telling him something that he can't do or making him into a person that he isn't.

I think the suggestion for a beard or goatee is a good one. Tim has a very boyish looking face and a beard or goatee would make him look older. An added plus would be a few gray hairs. Yes, really I'm not kidding. I look a good 15+ years younger than what I really am and growing a beard made a huge difference for me. I keep it neatly trimmed to about 1/4" in length and women say that it makes me look much better and more mature looking. Plus I think it masks my screwed up facial expressions and makes the non-verbal part of communication less problematic. I can't tell what type of hair Tim has but growing it longer might help. I have very fine, wavy and thick light brown hair that looks best at shoulder length and keep it well styled. Most 42yo men I know have lost their hair so it's a big plus for me. This may not work for dark, coarse hair. Go to a high end salon with hot NT female or totally gay men and ask what would work best. It will cost some money but they will know what to do for you.

I know I've been a very harsh critic of Tim but that's because I think he has a lot of potential. I know Aspies don't give a rat's @$$ about looks but NT women do. Sucks but that is a reality we must adapt to if we want to do more than watch porn on the Internet.

A longer or shorter haircut with a beard might make him look scary...not his fault...most people can't sport that look. Sideburns and a gottee and wiffle (by wiffle I mean like the Tom Cruise, Mission Impossible cut) might do him good. I had a friend in high school that looked similar to him and did that. This guy, I should also say, he wasn't Mr. Popular, but people liked that he was outgoing and "different." There's nothing wrong with being different and having radical views, but when you're shy about it, people unfortunately judge you.

I honestly don't think the short hair cut/facial hair...slightly better wardrobe...and being more outgoing and more open minded as far as the whole South Park theory thing is asking too much of him if he wants a particular girlfriend.