Anyone here afraid they will never get a girlfriend?

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Joined: 17 Dec 2005
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12 Apr 2010, 7:41 am

I strongly separate sex and love. I'm not interested in a girlfriend or a relationship, but I would have liked to have sex. But I have accepted that that's never going to happen.

sgrannel
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12 Apr 2010, 10:17 am

Brianruns10 wrote:

My advice to others is not to worry about women, and focus on your talents. Women come and go, get old and ugly. But our work, as writers, mathematicians, scientists, engineers will long endure!

The common element of wanting women and having children, or producing enduring works is that something we did has made a lasting contribution. My papers, thesis, and patents will still exist even long after I've gotten old and ugly, which brings some satisfaction. And I mean that.

Lonermutant wrote:

I strongly separate sex and love. I'm not interested in a girlfriend or a relationship, but I would have liked to have sex. But I have accepted that that's never going to happen.

I thought I might have not really been interested in having a girlfriend, and only wanting the sexual experience. I realized that I tend to become overloaded in dating and approaching situations, and I don't know where my own level is in the "water seeks it's own level" model, which is different from genuinely not wanting a girlfriend.

I now have two nieces and two nephews, which places my generation of siblings at breakeven, and my cousins breed rather prodigiously so I am not concerned about not having children of my own.

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Brianruns10
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12 Apr 2010, 11:06 am

therange wrote:

He doesn't mean it though. He's saying that for the time being because he's mad that he's not getting women. If he really meant it, it would be a good thing.

You have a preternatural ability to not only read my thoughts, but read them through your screen, through miles of wires, and through air to my head.

You are quite the SAVANT!

Or more likely, you don't know what you're talking about, and ought not to make assumptions based upon the flimsiest of assumptions.

MONKEY
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12 Apr 2010, 12:15 pm

Obgeektor wrote:

MONKEY wrote:

I sometimes fear that I will never lose my virginity. Which is silly since I am still only 17.
But I am convinced I will grow old a lonely crazy cat lady.

Yeah it IS silly. No need to rush. It will happen, but it's better to happen at the right time, with the right person, not at the earliest time possible.

Yeah I know.
I'm just sexually frustrated lol

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Asp-Z
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12 Apr 2010, 12:19 pm

Getting a girlfriend is easy if you are patient. The hard part is making sure that person is right for you, and having a smooth relationship.

Obgeektor
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12 Apr 2010, 12:30 pm

Asp-Z wrote:

Getting a girlfriend is easy if you are patient. The hard part is making sure that person is right for you, and having a smooth relationship.

True, that. Or a boyfriend. Also something to keep in mind is the more you look desperate, the less you'll attract girls (/boys too?), so let them come to you, so to speak, and just relax and live your life. Everyone's horny sometimes, it's worth waiting until you find the right person so you can enjoy the results of that horniness in the safest, most relaxing manner, and not get used, for example.

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Hector
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12 Apr 2010, 2:26 pm

Asp-Z wrote:

Getting a girlfriend is easy if you are patient. The hard part is making sure that person is right for you, and having a smooth relationship.

You say that almost as if it's meant to be reassuring. If that's the easy part, then I have next to no chance to get the hard part right.

lennyk
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12 Apr 2010, 8:19 pm

well I must be a very patient person, 35+ years

Asp-Z wrote:

Getting a girlfriend is easy if you are patient. The hard part is making sure that person is right for you, and having a smooth relationship.

Ruchard
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15 Apr 2010, 5:46 pm

Not really bothered about finding a girlfriend if it happens it happens just don't see the point in having one the girl will probably try and change you into something that your not any way.

pbcoll
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15 Apr 2010, 9:45 pm

auntblabby wrote:

Moog wrote:

I don't think I'll ever have another girlfriend. Sometimes it bothers me. It makes me feel sad more than scared.

the key word here is another. you HAD a gf in the past, so why doubt that you could find another?

While I think in the general case you're right, and I can only speak for myself, in my particular case it's the opposite. I had a gf, and what it taught me is that even a relationship with so much going for it went to the dogs. It taught me that there are the promises, the forevers, and then, the lies, the faking, the drama, the breakup. Do I really want that again? I am extremely unlikely to get a relationship with even more going for it, and I worked very hard to try and make that relationship work; any other relationship would realistically be even worse. It would be hard enough to get any relationship at all; but one that would actually work well enough to be worth it, well, it will happen after pigs fly and colonise Mars. I'd love to have a relationship like that, but I don't regret not having the sort of relationship I could have a chance of getting and, in that sense, I don't want a relationship. Actually, almost my only real regret about remaining single until the day I die is not having children. I'll never have nieces and nephews, and I'm not close to any of my cousins, so the craving to raise a child will never be appeased. But one never gets everything one wants out of life.

Brianruns10 wrote:

I've decided that the small, infinitesimal chance of happiness with a girl isn't worth all the pain and suffering. I just don't like the odds.

This has become my position also.

Quote:

Woman are supposed to be equal, so they can step up to the goddamn plate for once.

Actually, I've come to be glad there is this convention about asking out - it means I will never have to reject anyone. All I have to do is not lift a finger.

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Surreal
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16 Apr 2010, 10:51 am

I used to think that way...until I got a girlfriend...then I regretted it because she was only interested in how much money she thought she could get me to spend on her. I eventually told her to KICK ROCKS.

I made the mistake one more time, but only briefly - VERY briefly. She tried to be too bossy and demanding. She was summarily dismissed.

Frankly, I don't care if I ever get into another relationship again in my LIFE! I prefer to spend much of my time alone ANYway. :roll:

e-man
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20 Apr 2010, 6:03 pm

i am... :help: :cyclops:

Bataar
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20 Apr 2010, 8:21 pm

Brianruns10 wrote:

My advice to others is not to worry about women, and focus on your talents. Women come and go, get old and ugly. But our work, as writers, mathematicians, scientists, engineers will long endure!!

Nice. I just wish I had talents/interests along those lines.

jc6chan
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21 Apr 2010, 8:28 am

MONKEY wrote:

I sometimes fear that I will never lose my virginity. Which is silly since I am still only 17.
But I am convinced I will grow old a lonely crazy cat lady.

Just because you are "lonely" (and I quote because singleness does not equal lonely) doesn't mean that you'll turn into a crazy cat lady. I'm sure there are many people who are living alone who are totally sane.

b9
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21 Apr 2010, 8:29 am

how could it be scary not to have a girl friend?

Kenjuudo
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21 Apr 2010, 8:48 am

MONKEY wrote:

I sometimes fear that I will never lose my virginity. Which is silly since I am still only 17.
But I am convinced I will grow old a lonely crazy cat lady.

From what I've seen from your pictures and posts, there is no chance in hell you'll stay a virgin forever. You're smart, cute and outright desirable. But you're also young and have your whole life ahead of you.

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