23 Apr 2010, 9:20 am
MichelleRM78 wrote:
DavidM wrote:
MichelleRM78 wrote:
DavidM wrote:
A relationship is a means of securing sex; it is the mean and not the end as is so commonly misperceived.
Laughing is quite a simple task by comparison and can be effected through simple acts such as watching TV or reading a book.
Laughing is quite a simple task by comparison and can be effected through simple acts such as watching TV or reading a book.
A relationship may be a means of securing sex-- but its also a means of securing a lot more. Even most men aren't looking for JUST sex.
They have not freed their minds.
Companionship without proper intimacy is a state of constant repression and as a result is doomed always to disappointment and futility.
The mind is not always the master over the instincts.
When people understand the truth, they are set free.
Actually, biological studies prove that men absolutely need sex, but they also need recreational activity with their partner, domestic support and admiration as TOP things they need. They aren't in it just for sex-- even if the sex is extremely important.
I totally take it for granted that you take your female 'companion' out for meals, watch films with her etc. That's so routine it's barely worth mentioning.
But what I do say in contrast to popular opinion is that all of that time that people spend arguing (instead of having sex) and going through certain dating 'rituals' and subjecting one another to teasing and testing is nothing but a sham, and even, to the extent that it discourages or even disparages the holy and sacred act itself, it is a great source of strife and unhappiness on this planet and should be banished with an almighty spiritual struggle.
23 Apr 2010, 9:23 am
DavidM wrote:
MichelleRM78 wrote:
DavidM wrote:
MichelleRM78 wrote:
DavidM wrote:
A relationship is a means of securing sex; it is the mean and not the end as is so commonly misperceived.
Laughing is quite a simple task by comparison and can be effected through simple acts such as watching TV or reading a book.
Laughing is quite a simple task by comparison and can be effected through simple acts such as watching TV or reading a book.
A relationship may be a means of securing sex-- but its also a means of securing a lot more. Even most men aren't looking for JUST sex.
They have not freed their minds.
Companionship without proper intimacy is a state of constant repression and as a result is doomed always to disappointment and futility.
The mind is not always the master over the instincts.
When people understand the truth, they are set free.
Actually, biological studies prove that men absolutely need sex, but they also need recreational activity with their partner, domestic support and admiration as TOP things they need. They aren't in it just for sex-- even if the sex is extremely important.
I totally take it for granted that you take your female 'companion' out for meals, watch films with her etc. That's so routine it's barely worth mentioning.
But what I do say in contrast to popular opinion is that all of that time that people spend arguing (instead of having sex) and going through certain dating 'rituals' and subjecting one another to teasing and testing is nothing but a sham, and even, to the extent that it discourages or even disparages the holy and sacred act itself, it is a great source of strife and unhappiness on this planet and should be banished with an almighty spiritual struggle.
ACtually, its a need for the woman. And whether you realize it or not-- the needs of women are also important to this "ritual" and also need to be met in order for this to happen. This is not just about fulfilling men-- women have different biological needs-- and men need to take those just as seriously.
23 Apr 2010, 9:24 am
Well just think yourselves lucky you haven't had any really rather traumatic sexual expreiences. 
This whole sex on a pedstal thing is getting old, it's merely a method to reproduce which we evolved to keep the species alive. I am a very spiritual person and I can't help but think what you said is ridiulous.
There might be some connection with sex and spirituality on climax but you don't actually need sex to climax.
23 Apr 2010, 9:29 am
hale_bopp wrote:
Well just think yourselves lucky you haven't had any really rather traumatic sexual expreiences.
This whole sex on a pedstal thing is getting old, it's merely a method to reproduce which we evolved to keep the species alive. I am a very spiritual person and I can't help but think what you said is ridiulous.
There might be some connection with sex and spirituality on climax but you don't actually need sex to climax.
This whole sex on a pedstal thing is getting old, it's merely a method to reproduce which we evolved to keep the species alive. I am a very spiritual person and I can't help but think what you said is ridiulous.
There might be some connection with sex and spirituality on climax but you don't actually need sex to climax.
Well, I have had traumatic sexual experiences. Terrible, in fact.
Sex should NOT be on a pedestal, but to deny that it is THE most important emotional need for a man is pointless. It is. It is proven. Just as affection is THE most important emotional need for women.
23 Apr 2010, 9:32 am
23 Apr 2010, 9:34 am
23 Apr 2010, 10:00 am
MichelleRM78 wrote:
DavidM wrote:
MichelleRM78 wrote:
ACtually, its a need for the woman. And whether you realize it or not-- the needs of women are also important to this "ritual" and also need to be met in order for this to happen. This is not just about fulfilling men-- women have different biological needs-- and men need to take those just as seriously.
I am forever freed from taking these rituals seriously.
I've never raped or physically hurt a woman.
Anybody who does not want it, for whatever reason, should never be made to have it.
But those who do want, should not agonize and procrastinate before they ask: for life is too short.
And if someone doesn't want a relationship, there is nothing wrong with meaningless sex. Absolutely nothing. If, however, someone wants a relationship and companionship, it will need to occur, unless you really don't care about the needs of your partner.
It's not meaningless, it's the key to maintaining an affectionate relationship.
Trying to achieve the latter by sterile means results in a sterile outcome.
As far as abusive men go, my mother preferred one over me and I have seen other women decry with their mouths but say otherwise with their actions, and my own passive-feminine nature hasn't exactly brought me a great deal of reproductive success.
But I'll stop there; because I died to this bourgeois-white supremacist world a long time ago.
23 Apr 2010, 10:12 am
DavidM wrote:
MichelleRM78 wrote:
DavidM wrote:
MichelleRM78 wrote:
ACtually, its a need for the woman. And whether you realize it or not-- the needs of women are also important to this "ritual" and also need to be met in order for this to happen. This is not just about fulfilling men-- women have different biological needs-- and men need to take those just as seriously.
I am forever freed from taking these rituals seriously.
I've never raped or physically hurt a woman.
Anybody who does not want it, for whatever reason, should never be made to have it.
But those who do want, should not agonize and procrastinate before they ask: for life is too short.
And if someone doesn't want a relationship, there is nothing wrong with meaningless sex. Absolutely nothing. If, however, someone wants a relationship and companionship, it will need to occur, unless you really don't care about the needs of your partner.
It's not meaningless, it's the key to maintaining an affectionate relationship.
Trying to achieve the latter by sterile means results in a sterile outcome.
As far as abusive men go, my mother preferred one over me and I have seen other women decry with their mouths but say otherwise with their actions, and my own passive-feminine nature hasn't exactly brought me a great deal of reproductive success.
But I'll stop there; because I died to this bourgeois-white supremacist world a long time ago.
I was not saying that sex is meaningless. What I said was, if someone wants meaningless sex, then its fine. Also, it is the key to maintaining an affectionate relationship for MEN. If men want their needs met, they need to meet another's needs-- that very likely will NOT be sex.
Ummm.. are you talking about a woman saying "oh stop," and they groping the man? Sure- that happens. But I don't consider those abusive men. It's the men that hold you down, beat you, and treat you like crap that are abusive.
I am confused as to where you are going with this-- but I am going to respond to what I think you are saying. Of course men should let a woman know he is attracted to her and wants to have sex. He should also be willing to hear that she isn't quite ready to go there emotionally (its a lot more emotional for a woman). To disregard that, would be as sh***y as disregarding that men want sex.
23 Apr 2010, 10:20 am
MichelleRM78 wrote:
I was not saying that sex is meaningless. What I said was, if someone wants meaningless sex, then its fine. Also, it is the key to maintaining an affectionate relationship for MEN. If men want their needs met, they need to meet another's needs-- that very likely will NOT be sex.
Ummm.. are you talking about a woman saying "oh stop," and they groping the man? Sure- that happens. But I don't consider those abusive men. It's the men that hold you down, beat you, and treat you like crap that are abusive.
I am confused as to where you are going with this-- but I am going to respond to what I think you are saying. Of course men should let a woman know he is attracted to her and wants to have sex. He should also be willing to hear that she isn't quite ready to go there emotionally (its a lot more emotional for a woman). To disregard that, would be as sh***y as disregarding that men want sex.
Ummm.. are you talking about a woman saying "oh stop," and they groping the man? Sure- that happens. But I don't consider those abusive men. It's the men that hold you down, beat you, and treat you like crap that are abusive.
I am confused as to where you are going with this-- but I am going to respond to what I think you are saying. Of course men should let a woman know he is attracted to her and wants to have sex. He should also be willing to hear that she isn't quite ready to go there emotionally (its a lot more emotional for a woman). To disregard that, would be as sh***y as disregarding that men want sex.
It comes down to this: i have personally missed a great many chances not only to have sex with very attractive women my age but also to enjoy their company in other affectionate and non- or less-sexual ways, simply because I did not indulge in the initial routine, talking about the weather or whatever else you are supposed to talk about when you initiate a conversation with a stranger who has a hot body and is grinning at you and making you feel sexually anxious.
The women themselves were disappointed too.
So obviously those stupid rituals aren't the only means towards fulfilling their 'needs'.
So they can be as attracted to me as they like, but they and I will both have to suffer because that middle layer of society-generated nonsense gets in the way.
This problem will fade in time as I age, grow fatter and less attractive because of my drugs.
Eventually I will die and won't have to worry about anything any more.
It would have been nice to have enjoyed life and had some good f&king, but hey ho.
I guess those biologically-necessary rituals involving discussing lectures and the weather were more important?
23 Apr 2010, 10:24 am
DavidM wrote:
MichelleRM78 wrote:
I was not saying that sex is meaningless. What I said was, if someone wants meaningless sex, then its fine. Also, it is the key to maintaining an affectionate relationship for MEN. If men want their needs met, they need to meet another's needs-- that very likely will NOT be sex.
Ummm.. are you talking about a woman saying "oh stop," and they groping the man? Sure- that happens. But I don't consider those abusive men. It's the men that hold you down, beat you, and treat you like crap that are abusive.
I am confused as to where you are going with this-- but I am going to respond to what I think you are saying. Of course men should let a woman know he is attracted to her and wants to have sex. He should also be willing to hear that she isn't quite ready to go there emotionally (its a lot more emotional for a woman). To disregard that, would be as sh***y as disregarding that men want sex.
Ummm.. are you talking about a woman saying "oh stop," and they groping the man? Sure- that happens. But I don't consider those abusive men. It's the men that hold you down, beat you, and treat you like crap that are abusive.
I am confused as to where you are going with this-- but I am going to respond to what I think you are saying. Of course men should let a woman know he is attracted to her and wants to have sex. He should also be willing to hear that she isn't quite ready to go there emotionally (its a lot more emotional for a woman). To disregard that, would be as sh***y as disregarding that men want sex.
It comes down to this: i have personally missed a great many chances not only to have sex with very attractive women my age but also to enjoy their company in other affectionate and non- or less-sexual ways, simply because I did not indulge in the initial routine, talking about the weather or whatever else you are supposed to talk about when you initiate a conversation with a stranger who has a hot body and is grinning at you and making you feel sexually anxious.
The women themselves were disappointed too.
So obviously those stupid rituals aren't the only means towards fulfilling their 'needs'.
So they can be as attracted to me as they like, but they and I will both have to suffer because that middle layer of society-generated nonsense gets in the way.
This problem will fade in time as I age, grow fatter and less attractive because of my drugs.
Eventually I will die and won't have to worry about anything any more.
It would have been nice to have enjoyed life and had some good f&king, but hey ho.
I guess those biologically-necessary rituals involving discussing lectures and the weather were more important?
Hmmm. I think we have different ideas of what these "rituals" are. In a situation where you want raw sex, no, nothing needs to be said. When you want a relationship that lasts, yes, conversation, getting to know someone, being reassuring, and being affectionate are absolutely parts of it. The only time my bf and I talk about weather is to determind what we are wearing that day or if we are going hiking.
I had my fair share of "hey, that's a hot guy. I want to sleep with him," and did, with nothing else involved. Sometimes that is absolutely wonderful. Just saying that "ritual" of getting to know someone and meeting their needs is important if you want any depth beyond sex.
23 Apr 2010, 10:32 am
23 Apr 2010, 11:06 am
MichelleRM78 wrote:
Hmmm. I think we have different ideas of what these "rituals" are. In a situation where you want raw sex, no, nothing needs to be said. When you want a relationship that lasts, yes, conversation, getting to know someone, being reassuring, and being affectionate are absolutely parts of it. The only time my bf and I talk about weather is to determind what we are wearing that day or if we are going hiking.
I had my fair share of "hey, that's a hot guy. I want to sleep with him," and did, with nothing else involved. Sometimes that is absolutely wonderful. Just saying that "ritual" of getting to know someone and meeting their needs is important if you want any depth beyond sex.
Yes indeed, sex would have been - will be, and eternally will be - wonderful.
Nothing more to be said.
More sex is better.
I'll leave 'the guys' to their dates and their other BS and I'll go straight to what matters.
23 Apr 2010, 11:10 am
therange wrote:
Guys with mindsets like David are what make it harder for the rest of us guys to get actual dates.
I'm so sorry.
I'll go out on a date with you. I'll put on a wig and wear a dress if you like.
23 Apr 2010, 11:15 am
23 Apr 2010, 11:16 am
therange wrote:
Have you even had sex?
Are you making me an offer, sweet cheeks?
Northeastern292
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23 Apr 2010, 12:07 pm
