How not to come across as creepy.

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Bethie
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07 Apr 2011, 11:49 pm

nick007 wrote:
It's been my experience that what a lot of women go for is very different than what they claim to want. When it comes to getting advice; you should always consider the source


You ever notice all the ones who DO want what they say they do?
Or are those all selectively-ignored?


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nick007
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08 Apr 2011, 12:37 am

Bethie wrote:
nick007 wrote:
It's been my experience that what a lot of women go for is very different than what they claim to want. When it comes to getting advice; you should always consider the source


You ever notice all the ones who DO want what they say they do?
Or are those all selectively-ignored?

A lot of the women I've known offline were like that & a majority of the ones I chat with online are. It may be because women like that are more likely to be single & have more relationship problems; a lot of my online friends are from online support groups & dating sites. I'm NOT claiming all women are like that because lots are not but lots more I see are. I think lots of guys would agree with me on this


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Bethie
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08 Apr 2011, 1:04 am

nick007 wrote:
Bethie wrote:
nick007 wrote:
It's been my experience that what a lot of women go for is very different than what they claim to want. When it comes to getting advice; you should always consider the source


You ever notice all the ones who DO want what they say they do?
Or are those all selectively-ignored?

A lot of the women I've known offline were like that & a majority of the ones I chat with online are. It may be because women like that are more likely to be single & have more relationship problems; a lot of my online friends are from online support groups & dating sites. I'm NOT claiming all women are like that because lots are not but lots more I see are. I think lots of guys would agree with me on this


I think "lots of guys" have very skewed and often-offensive views about women in general.


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nick007
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08 Apr 2011, 1:06 am

Bethie wrote:
nick007 wrote:
Bethie wrote:
nick007 wrote:
It's been my experience that what a lot of women go for is very different than what they claim to want. When it comes to getting advice; you should always consider the source


You ever notice all the ones who DO want what they say they do?
Or are those all selectively-ignored?

A lot of the women I've known offline were like that & a majority of the ones I chat with online are. It may be because women like that are more likely to be single & have more relationship problems; a lot of my online friends are from online support groups & dating sites. I'm NOT claiming all women are like that because lots are not but lots more I see are. I think lots of guys would agree with me on this


I think "lots of guys" have very skewed and often-offensive views about women in general.

You may be rite but I do NOT think it's just guys here. I'm sorry if it sounded offensive; that was NOT my intent


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08 Apr 2011, 1:15 am

albertwesker wrote:
too many uptight girls overusing the word "creepy"

"don't do this that's creepy"

don't do that it's creepy"

:roll: :roll: :roll:


I'd have to agree completely with this statement. Just because I'm quiet, I'm creepy. I never understood this, but I guess they think someone quiet is creepy because of the fear of the unknown, I really don't know. These kinds of women spend their time talking to a$$holes, but just because you are quiet and "creepy", you're less of a person.


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Bethie
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08 Apr 2011, 1:23 am

albertwesker wrote:
too many uptight girls overusing the word "creepy"

"don't do this that's creepy"

don't do that it's creepy"

:roll: :roll: :roll:



Too many asinine men opining about women's psychology.

:roll: :roll: :roll:


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Exhumed
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08 Apr 2011, 2:20 am

It's definitely true! A girl will say "oh my god I hate him, he did this and this and that to me" and it means she likes the guy.

I think guys with Asperger's are predisposed to hate women or have certain views about them because the first few girls they liked crushed their souls. It's certainly true for me. I hated women until I realized it was my own behaviors that were turning them off, and it's not like they can just choose to be attracted to a quiet Aspie who's afraid to touch them, or doesn't even know that physical contact is required to start romantic relationships (I didn't know at first). When a girl says she wants "confidence and romance" in a guy, she's looking for a lot of behaviors Aspies don't exhibit unless they learn to.

But yes DEFINITELY the only way to not come off as creepy is to be confident. You can often be as straightforward as you want if you do it confidently. If you say "Oh by the way, your boobs are lookin' nice today" most girls will laugh and say thanks rather than flip out. You can kiss a girl minutes after meeting her if you get physical with her, move in close, lower your voice, and then just go for it. The perfect moment never comes for one reason: you're forgetting a step, you have to actually make physical contact with her.



zen_mistress
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08 Apr 2011, 3:22 am

Exhumed wrote:
It
But yes DEFINITELY the only way to not come off as creepy is to be confident. You can often be as straightforward as you want if you do it confidently. If you say "Oh by the way, your boobs are lookin' nice today" most girls will laugh and say thanks rather than flip out.


I would probably want to vomit if a guy said that to me and wasnt my boyfriend.

Quote:
You can kiss a girl minutes after meeting her if you get physical with her, move in close, lower your voice, and then just go for it.


And that would earn the "confident" guy a kick in the balls.


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Snowy Owl
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08 Apr 2011, 3:42 am

True, well I said MOST girls would not flip out. You're not "most girls".



Bethie
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08 Apr 2011, 4:01 am

Are people serious about this crap?

8O

Telling strangers that their boobs look nice and trying to kiss someone moments after first meeting them?


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nick007
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08 Apr 2011, 4:03 am

Bethie wrote:
Are people serious about this crap?

8O

Telling strangers that their boobs look nice and trying to kiss someone moments after first meeting them?

I've seen guys have success with that


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Bethie
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08 Apr 2011, 4:15 am

nick007 wrote:
Bethie wrote:
Are people serious about this crap?

8O

Telling strangers that their boobs look nice and trying to kiss someone moments after first meeting them?

I've seen guys have success with that


And I've seen guys get a fiery red handprint across their face, and rightfully so.

You pull that sh!t with the right gal in these parts, and you're liable to get your head blown off.


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zen_mistress
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08 Apr 2011, 4:39 am

nick007 wrote:
Bethie wrote:
Are people serious about this crap?

8O

Telling strangers that their boobs look nice and trying to kiss someone moments after first meeting them?

I've seen guys have success with that


Yeah, in a porno movie. Not in reality.


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nick007
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08 Apr 2011, 5:47 am

Bethie wrote:
nick007 wrote:
Bethie wrote:
Are people serious about this crap?

8O

Telling strangers that their boobs look nice and trying to kiss someone moments after first meeting them?

I've seen guys have success with that


And I've seen guys get a fiery red handprint across their face, and rightfully so.

You pull that sh!t with the right gal in these parts, and you're liable to get your head blown off.

You obviously live no where near me


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emlion
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08 Apr 2011, 5:49 am

kiss on first meeting = run a mile, forever. 8O
scary.



ZeroGravitas
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08 Apr 2011, 6:04 am

Aspies trying to act like pickup artists or porn actors is a terrible, terrible idea.

Ignore that most people who study pick up art are self-selected for misogyny and abject failure at actually communicating with women. They flock to the one or two guys who brag about having successfully manipulated women.

Ignore that the only reason why anyone would have success in acting like this, is probably an acute ability to notice, on a subconscious level, that the woman he is speaking to lacks both self-esteem and the capacity for abstract thought.

The problem is that aspies, trying to follow these supposed rules of how to behave, are doing it without a single jot of reflex or instinctive behaviour.

For an NT, there is a slight chance he will not get a kick in the balls after trying to kiss a total stranger, or make an offensive remark about her appearance. Why? His spider-sense will kick in because he picked up subtle behavioral cues and avoided doing this to the women who would take offense (the ones who don't hate themselves). He's got neurological wiring on his side, and it is a testament to this advantage that even when acting like a douchebag he may still attract someone.

An aspie, however, lacks this ability to pick up on the subtle cues. He lacks the neurological foundations necessary to get a gut feeling about which women this manipulation may work on. As a result, he is guaranteed to try acting like a creepy dick to a woman who does have self-esteem, and get slapped. Or he'll have successfully identified a woman who hates herself just as much as a pickup artist does, and still manage to be creepy due to the noticeable delay in interaction while he reviews the conversational flowchart.

An NT trying to be a pickup artist is a douche. An aspie trying to be a pickup artist is an incompetent douche.

My advice: avoid the advice of people who hate women, and listen to what women actually say they find attractive and non-threatening.


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