Parents nosy about your dating life or lack thereof?

Post Reply New Topic

When I was in my early 20's, my parents asked me rather often, but as I showed little interest in the whole thing, (never once dating at university, or even kissing), they became rather miserable about the whole thing. I lost count of the number of people who thought I was gay or weird because of my lack of interest. Although I had had a bad experience of sixth form, my father thought that things would pick up at university, so packed me off with a 24-pack of condoms, which I brought back unopened, wrapped in a sock and they ended up clogging the washing machine. I think they half expected me to become a priest (although I gave up on that during the whole priesthood scandal) and my mother was rather worried that I might be gay- although as I got towards 25, she might have preferred (at the time anyway) that I had been. Not being interested in relationships at all really distressed them more.
I think what they called an "aversion to women" was definitely one of the reasons they took me off for a diagnosis. On the whole, now I'm 33 and fat, (and diagnosed since 26), they haven't pestered me about it for years. I went through a stage of being more attractive about the age of 27, but this was down to regular gym exercise which I did more out of concern about my weight more than anything else, and I didn't take any advantage of it because I didn't know what to say to women and frankly had less and less interest. I think my parents see me essentially as an unworldly character, especially after the diagnosis, with a specific dislike of women. There is truth to this, but it's not the whole story. My mother asked me a few times whether I was re-considering, or whether I was in fact gay, or dreaded the whole thing, but none of my answers pleased her. I'm not actually asexual, nor do I have any attraction toward men, but I just don't want prolonged company of women and I have no innate ability in the field to make up for my utter lack of experience, so I don't see how I could change if I wanted to.

Yeah, people love to label those who are different as weird. Seriously, what business is it of theirs whether you're dating or not? Do you have any other siblings they could pester for grandchildren instead? :/

Oh, my sister's got a 2 year old boy who they're absolutely obsessed with. Come to think of it, everyone who's met him thinks he's adorable (although that could obviously just be my sister's take on it, of course).
I think I should have been a priest, but I lost my faith and am still quite lukewarm about it. Also, I don't think I would have passed the interviews because they would think I was "running away" from normal life, which you would think would be part of the usual motivation but is now seen as a sign of deeper problems and certainly not a sign of the requisite faith.

Yes, well I never felt that touching males of any description was a valid option for me. Thank God (not that there's anything wrong, etc, as long as it's a consenting adult male and all that- it's just not my area, as they say). I think the reason why I felt I shouldn't go for the priesthood was that I didn't have the right type of belief or the right personality- I am too impatient and (sometimes) irreverent and it wouldn't work. Maybe I have become too hostile to people in general, rather than it just being a misogyny thing. Aspergers and bullying/ isolation does tend to bring out the inner bastard- and bastards do not make good priests (although that would be an ecumenical matter).