So how do I get a boyfriend?

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I feel like I'm talking to NT's.

How many of you have actually met a woman with AS?

Yes please. I've had people here on WP say don't go looking for it if you are that's not right it'll happen etc. but it saddens me seeing hearing of my friend with her boyfriend and I feel bad why is it so DAMN easy for them! Sure I'm smart and can do well in college but that satisfies me just a little. I want someone to sure this with intellectually someone as interested in school work as I am (you don't have to be in school for a high profession but I can say Hey I learned X and feel good about telling you etc. Someone just as obsessed with schooling as me. I will not mind if you just HAVE to get that paper/project done. I don't care it's not due for over a month! You feel you have to do it NOW! So IMO do it now I don't mind. Sadly I question if I'll ever find a guy like that.

To the OP: You asked how you could get a bf.


You did pm me. I'm sorry, but if you are unattractive...you arent going to get a decent looking guy


Guys rarley date women less attractive than them. It's viewed as failing at life in some way...sorry

Guys are beyond visual. Break the ice as much as you can by making yourself as physically attractive as possible. Also go for guys within your age range or
Older.

If you want a younger guy, try the slightly
Awkward ones. The IT department at work is a good place to look.

As long as you are not a land whale or mitigate that as much as possible, you can find a bf.

I'm the guy in the IT department.

*sigh*

I like your attitude btw, you're trying to say that "All people are of the same league" , and "all people should use the same approach".

and I like your "I Know everything, I am experience, your opinions are all bullshits"

But those attitudes are illogical.

The world of an attractive person is not the same of the world of the unattractive person.

Let's take two extreme cases : a gorgeous man and a terrible ugly man.

People judge the ugly people more harshly and are far more tolerant toward the handsome people. There are plenty of studies that prove that fact.

A gorgeous man might open the door for a ladies , and he would be thanked and even flirted by them.

Just replace the gorgeous man with the very ugly man (same clothes, perfume , hygiene...) and many ladies won't even thank him, what' s worse that some of them might even give him the stare of death (Ew , what a creep).

A gorgeous man for example might just need acceptable social skills ,it would be enough for him to flirt around in a bar and he would get the full attention of at least one woman.

The ugly man (with same wealth/education) can't use this same approach , he must be more socially skilled and canny in order to attract some woman. First of all, he must re-consider his target , it would be harder for the ugly man to beat the handsome men who are roaming over the most gorgeous model in the bar , so he might have to aim at a different target and he should approach her more slowly in a way to reveal his good personality little by little till he compensates what he lacks in looks.

Of course ,here we are talking about two men with the same level of social skills , education, same self-esteem....

But in real life , the ugly man would more likely have faced a harsher childhood , would have been more bullied , more mocked , more rejected by girls ....... all those will negatively affect his social skills and self-esteem and hence his ability to attract the opposite sex. So things are usually even worse for the ugly man.

For example ,some researches showed that taller man are more likely to earn than shorter men:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/scie ... aims..html

Why is that? it's because of the self-esteem which was shaped during childhood , self-esteem is largely affected by how your peers treat you. A tall man is less bullied , less rejected , less mocked , less picked on (if ever!) and more likely to be better in sports , and hence better self-esteem as adult.



I recall another study about women , and how beauty greatly affects their chances in mating.
They made two groups : the first a group is a bunch of gorgeous girls with model-like physical traits and the second group is a bunch of average too below average-looking girls (overweighted, bad teeth , no-proportional body ...etc ).

Each girl has to purposely throws books at the floor (acting if it happened accidentally) in a crowded college's hall and some spy researcher would count the number of men and women who approached to help her. Each girl did that a specific number of times.

The average different between the 2 groups was huge , it was about x10 times more. (some women were always approached by 1 to 2 men, while other women were always approached by 8 to 12 men at a time).

What does that mean? That means that a beautiful girl would drag the attention of a lot of men when she's in distress (her books are on the floor, the poor girl!) while the poor less beautiful girl would be more like ...invisible.


Another study I recall well used the same books technique , but this time with just one girl. The first phase was to do this x of times while she is presented in a sexy way ( sexy dress, make-up , haircut ....etc) and the other phase while she's presented in a non sexy way (glasses, geeky hair , reserved dress....etc). The difference in average was also huge.

How is that?

I figure since all us women have spent so much time trying to give you men tips on getting a girlfriend, perhaps you men can reciprocate and tell us women how to get a boyfriend?

I'm average. Some people think I'm above average. Some people think I'm just average. I think my issue is more one of non-verbal social skills and mannerisms and everything else AS.

I just love how so many of the posts in this thread have alluded to the fact that if you're fat and/or ugly, you may as well give up because no one wants you. Sadly, it's held true for me so far.

I just love how so many of the posts in this thread have alluded to the fact that if you're fat and/or ugly, you may as well give up because no one wants you. Sadly, it's held true for me so far.

I just love how so many of the posts in this thread have alluded to the fact that if you're fat and/or ugly, you may as well give up because no one wants you. Sadly, it's held true for me so far.

Erisad, that's just picky aspie men and some judgemental NTs, not the majority... if men really cared that much i should be lonely right now and i'm not. i'm married, and never mind the outside opportunities that may have presented themselves!

plus your guy friends IRL are maybe too young to appreciate big handfuls of REAL WOMAN. wait till you get older and build some more confidence... there are plenty of guys who will OMNOMNOM... (if the girls never manage to convert you to the other side. it's a noble cause).