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Dating profile, part 2

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Jono
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17 Oct 2010, 12:05 pm

I've got a general question. I know you're not supposed to give away your address or anything but is OK to ask ask someone what suburb they live in? I mean, just to find out how close they are to where you live?



hyperlexian
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17 Oct 2010, 12:12 pm

Jono wrote:
I've got a general question. I know you're not supposed to give away your address or anything but is OK to ask ask someone what suburb they live in? I mean, just to find out how close they are to where you live?

NO. they will think you are trying to track them down. it would be different if you were already conversing for a long period, or thinking of meeting up (for logistical planning purposes), but not at first.


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Jono
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17 Oct 2010, 12:36 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Jono wrote:
I've got a general question. I know you're not supposed to give away your address or anything but is OK to ask ask someone what suburb they live in? I mean, just to find out how close they are to where you live?

NO. they will think you are trying to track them down. it would be different if you were already conversing for a long period, or thinking of meeting up (for logistical planning purposes), but not at first.


Oh no. I didn't think of that. I did ask that in my last message when I gave her my e-mail address but I thought it was an innocent question. Any chance of fixing this?



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17 Oct 2010, 12:38 pm

Jono wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Jono wrote:
I've got a general question. I know you're not supposed to give away your address or anything but is OK to ask ask someone what suburb they live in? I mean, just to find out how close they are to where you live?

NO. they will think you are trying to track them down. it would be different if you were already conversing for a long period, or thinking of meeting up (for logistical planning purposes), but not at first.


Oh no. I didn't think of that. I did ask that in my last message when I gave her my e-mail address but I thought it was an innocent question. Any chance of fixing this?

no harm in trying to explain why you had asked. she might understand.


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17 Oct 2010, 12:39 pm

Jono wrote:
I've got a general question. I know you're not supposed to give away your address or anything but is OK to ask ask someone what suburb they live in? I mean, just to find out how close they are to where you live?


People can be a bit funny about things like that. They may not want you to know where they live, even generally, until they feel they can trust you.

If things progress to the point where you both feel like meeting up in meatspace, then make it somewhere public and convenient for both of you. Then if you feel comfortable with each other, then you can share more exact information like that.


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Jono
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17 Oct 2010, 1:25 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Jono wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Jono wrote:
I've got a general question. I know you're not supposed to give away your address or anything but is OK to ask ask someone what suburb they live in? I mean, just to find out how close they are to where you live?

NO. they will think you are trying to track them down. it would be different if you were already conversing for a long period, or thinking of meeting up (for logistical planning purposes), but not at first.


Oh no. I didn't think of that. I did ask that in my last message when I gave her my e-mail address but I thought it was an innocent question. Any chance of fixing this?

no harm in trying to explain why you had asked. she might understand.


Ok, I sent a message explaining why I asked that and I also told her not to answer question, saying "I do realise that we have to be careful about giving away too much personal information online". I hope that's good enough.



Jono
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17 Oct 2010, 1:36 pm

Moog wrote:
Jono wrote:
I've got a general question. I know you're not supposed to give away your address or anything but is OK to ask ask someone what suburb they live in? I mean, just to find out how close they are to where you live?


People can be a bit funny about things like that. They may not want you to know where they live, even generally, until they feel they can trust you.

If things progress to the point where you both feel like meeting up in meatspace, then make it somewhere public and convenient for both of you. Then if you feel comfortable with each other, then you can share more exact information like that.


I think that would be the best. The only problem is that since I don't drive, I'd have to hire a taxi to get to whatever meeting place it is and that could be expensive depending on the distance. But I'll sort all of that out if and when the time comes.



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17 Oct 2010, 1:43 pm

Jono wrote:
Moog wrote:
Jono wrote:
I've got a general question. I know you're not supposed to give away your address or anything but is OK to ask ask someone what suburb they live in? I mean, just to find out how close they are to where you live?


People can be a bit funny about things like that. They may not want you to know where they live, even generally, until they feel they can trust you.

If things progress to the point where you both feel like meeting up in meatspace, then make it somewhere public and convenient for both of you. Then if you feel comfortable with each other, then you can share more exact information like that.


I think that would be the best. The only problem is that since I don't drive, I'd have to hire a taxi to get to whatever meeting place it is and that could be expensive depending on the distance. But I'll sort all of that out if and when the time comes.


That could prove pricey. How about getting a cheap bike, or public transport options? Ah, you've probably already thought of that. Anyway, bridges to cross when you get there, hey?


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happymusic
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17 Oct 2010, 1:46 pm

Moog wrote:
That could prove pricey. How about getting a cheap bike, or public transport options? Ah, you've probably already thought of that. Anyway, bridges to cross when you get there, hey?


That's funny, I thought you said "Any bridges to cross to get there?" and I thought, "oh that might make it more expensive, indeed".

hehehehehe



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17 Oct 2010, 1:48 pm

happymusic wrote:
Moog wrote:
That could prove pricey. How about getting a cheap bike, or public transport options? Ah, you've probably already thought of that. Anyway, bridges to cross when you get there, hey?


That's funny, I thought you said "Any bridges to cross to get there?" and I thought, "oh that might make it more expensive, indeed".

hehehehehe


If they are toll bridges. Or troll bridges. Might have to sacrifice a goat or two to get past. :lol:


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17 Oct 2010, 2:04 pm

It would be really far wiser to learn how to drive before getting yourself into dating.



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17 Oct 2010, 2:10 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
It would be really far wiser to learn how to drive before getting yourself into dating.


It's not possible or economically viable for everyone. And I wouldn't recommend people give up on trying to have relationships because they lack the ability to drive. Or for any reason, really.


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Jono
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17 Oct 2010, 2:11 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
It would be really far wiser to learn how to drive before getting yourself into dating.


It would be but my eyesight and having no depth perception prevents me from being able to drive. It's not that I just never learnt to drive. So driving is not an option.



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17 Oct 2010, 2:22 pm

Jono wrote:
Moog wrote:
Jono wrote:
I've got a general question. I know you're not supposed to give away your address or anything but is OK to ask ask someone what suburb they live in? I mean, just to find out how close they are to where you live?


People can be a bit funny about things like that. They may not want you to know where they live, even generally, until they feel they can trust you.

If things progress to the point where you both feel like meeting up in meatspace, then make it somewhere public and convenient for both of you. Then if you feel comfortable with each other, then you can share more exact information like that.


I think that would be the best. The only problem is that since I don't drive, I'd have to hire a taxi to get to whatever meeting place it is and that could be expensive depending on the distance. But I'll sort all of that out if and when the time comes.

yes, good idea not to worry about it ahead of time, because it could eliminate a potential mate based only on distance. people can move to other apartments in other suburbs in future, if the relationship works out.

you are a very practical aspie, but distance would be such a sad reason to eliminate a potential love interest! it is very romantic for someone to want to travel to meet a date. (i had one suitor drive 1.5 hours on the highway to see me, and i had to travel 1.5 hours on the bus. that was HOT). in my city, it is not unusual to travel an hour or more to get anywhere by bus, especially during non-peak times. i always thought it was worth it to be with someone you want very much to see in person.


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Jono
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18 Oct 2010, 2:06 pm

No more replies, time to move on? I think the thing about asking her we she lives was a faux pas.



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18 Oct 2010, 2:24 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
It would be really far wiser to learn how to drive before getting yourself into dating.


I thought you'd at least want them to know how to square a jib if there cmon aboard a somali pirate ship