Do you feel sympathetic for somebody who can not have sex?

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I did mean it. It was what I thought was a clear reason.

Thats no good at all. We deserve everything that an NT has and I am willing to shed my blood to prove that point. Partially thanks to all this crap about Asperger pride, they got people like me acting like bloody martyrs!

You selected no because you were angry? What is your "plight" to experience sex? Help me understand what about sex is a "plight" for you. I am not asking you in order to put you down, I really am trying to understand.

Last edited by JohnisBlind on 15 Sep 2010, 9:18 am, edited 1 time in total.

i voted yes and i am a woman. but your initial poll question is unclear.

i do feel sympathy for people in that position. it has nothing to do with sex tho. i wish people could get the things they want in life, whether its money, fame, sex, etc. i like to have a positive view about life and hope people are happy.

so i dont feel sympathy because you cant get sex, but i do feel sympathy because you cant get something you want that would (hopefully) make you fulfilled and happy.

technically, i could have answered either way. it is a flaw in your poll. therefore, i dont think you can assume that one gender feels more or less sympathy over the subject based on the answer to a flawed poll.


i do have to wonder, why would anyone want others to feel sympathy for them due to lack of sexual opportunity? i am surrounded by people who suffer from the lack of basic necessities: safe place to live, food, heat in winter, education, clothes... the lack of sex is really trivial in comparison to the life needs of so many people that go unmet every day, making those people that want sympathy for lack of sex overly dramatic and a bit self centered.

This is a very interesting thing to say. Very interesting, possibly profound. Can you elaborate?



What are some creative ways I could have improved the poll?



Okay, I have heard this one before. I am not sure it really makes sense. I think that they would want some sense of validation that their distress in life is somehow matters in some way to others, so that it's not only a personal thing which they have to bear alone and rejected.

Is it overly dramatic for a lonely person to want sympathy for his lack of friends? Am I using the right word here? Is it valid that a person who works in a very soul crushing job to want sympathy? What would be the proper word to use then if not "sympathy"?

i actually really like this idea! no-holds-barred honesty!

no, the longer i go without it, the more i want it. like most people, i have been an 'involuntary celibate' at times in the past, but i didn't let it consume me. i wanted sex and couldn't get any. i wanted it a lot, and from talking to both men and women it is clear i have a very high sex drive. i definitely was not trying to get sympathy from other people about it.

and the majority of my sex partners were enjoyed outside the bounds of a relationship. these kind of generalizations just don't emcompass the entirety of sexuality across both genders.

but how much we allow it to affect us is largely our own doing. we can't change if we are born with a stronger sex drive and seem to want it more than the next person, but we can change how important it becomes in our lives. therapy can help with that.

Exactly. I find it interesting that the same people who play the sad fiddle for people in one circumstance instantly become polarized and lose that empathy and sympathy as soon as it becomes a predominantly male issue (though involuntary celibacy is also a female problem, just a more silent one).

The comment about there being surrounded by people with bigger problems -- azurecrayon, what do you mean? Do you mean poor people, homeless people, etc.? Because there are a lot of causes of "problems" in people, and some of them are self-inflicted. Do you feel more pity for some degenerate crackhead who is the cause of his own problem than you do for some normal, lonely, law-abiding, tax-paying citizen who had a tough upbringing and now is lost in the social world?

having a friend is not the ame as having sex. your comparison in flawed. you could compare friendship to a full-blown relationship of some kind, but comparing it so sex is not accurate.

friendship encompasses more than one single act, so it cannot be compared to sex. friendship is a connectio between two people, and sex is an act that two people perform together. not the same thing.

I'll give you an example why the male perspective on this, for hormonal reasons, may eclipse the female perspective you have on this.

I read an account from a female-to-male transsexual (a woman who became a man), and she said that once she started on hormone replacement therapy, Testosterone, it was like a whole other part of her brain opened up. She suddenly went from sitting on the train, admiring other women and thinking "Gee, she sure looks like a nice lady" to "OMG I want to ____ her so badly." It really did something to her brain and desires that boosted her sex drive far in excess of anything she encountered as a biological woman.

I'll say the same thing for when I went through puberty. Pre-pubescence, I would see a girl, have a crush that she was pretty, but otherwise, not be too interested. This went on till about age 12. At age 12, when the testosterone really started flowing into my body wholesale, it was just a completely different world. The internal urges, the sudden boost in attractiveness of almost anyone female, the sheer desire to literally jump on my female classmates (held back only by the logical and civilized part of my brain) was overwhelming. I can only imagine what it must be like for someone with less impulse control.

This has played a big part in my life and happiness. The periods in my life where I did not have a sexual partner were dark and depressing ones, where my self-esteem feel to progressively lower and lower levels. As soon as I got a sexual partner, this rebounded and made me a much happier person (and no, masturbation does not work as a substitute, you just feel desperate and pathetic).

This is my attempt to get to the truth. I was only trying to point out that their are other things besides basic needs that maybe somebody could feel sympathy toward.

It's not a comparison.

you aren't comparing apples to apples. many reasons for being without sex are also self-inflicted. therapy and social skills assistance can help to sort out which things are fixable - a 'tough upbringing' is definitely something that can impair a person, but a person can change the impact their upbringing has.

Yes, thank you. I wander what her answer will be.

the story of a transexual has nothing to do with my actual, real sex drive. it is hereditary, and it is stronger than most males i have come into contact with or spoken to about it IRL (see my earlier post where i stated i had sex over 7 times in one night. that was not a single occasion). so you can't make any assumption based on gender.

masturbation does biologically help reduce the sex drive temporarily. if that did not help, then perhaps the problem is more psychological than physical? maybe it has more to do with loneliness or lack of comfort than actual sex.

I'm only responding to this because if I get a 1000 posts I think thats when i can make up my own title. By definition Aspergers is an inability to navigate the social world and most people believe that Aspergers is not something you do to yourself.

you did compare it. i highlighted the exact place.