Women=lying when they say job isnt a big deal.

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You don't have to sacrifice your chance at a relationship. Unless you are grossly ugly, annoying, or otherwise undesirable, there are plenty single women in the world who may want you.

"Its such a shame that past males were horrid to Nicola and that it affected how she saw me. Its the males that hurt her that are the asses, they ruined me chances. Nicola became their victim, as I became a victim of Nicola's rejection. So, to end this chain, I will NOT ALLOW any woman to be a victim of me. Now, thats honourable behaviour in this unchivalrous age. But by being honourable to a woman, I have to sacrifice my chance at a relationship. That also kills off the chances of any babies that may come about too. I am putting the woman above my happiness."

No, Carig28, now you are being a martyr and that is not healthy either. There is no vicitimization in a rejection of dating and that is exactly my point. It is simply free will and choice and respecting those in others. That is what prevents the victimization. If you allow yourself to take a rejection and go beyond respecting her choice YOU are victimizing yourself and then .. by no longer dating any more women to "save" them you make yourself a martyr which honestly is overkill for a woman simply saying "I don't want to date you". She did not victimize you. You are doing that all by yourself right here in this post.

And she is not a victim of the past men. She has taken control of her life and recognized her indicators for a mate who will be a healthier match for her. With her saying no, she was no longer a victim. She controls how the past affects her because she recognizes it .. and that is a very difficult thing to accomplish.

At age 28 now, and with no previous relationship experience, I can be given a pass for not knowing how to feel about certain things, for not knowing how to treat women I can also be given a pass.

Like I said, I am 28 with no previous experience. That means I am emotionally wrecked even before I got someplace. It also means I am likely to snap out at posters who call me troll and a woman hater. I am a Aspie, but I also feel things. I am not a robot who can't tell the differences in life.

I am an Aspie
I am an Aspie
I am an Aspie
I am an Aspie
I am an Aspie
I am an Aspie

I most likely have Asperger too. You don't see me lash out at all males everywhere for that.

While many of us may blame a chunk of it including me on AS...it ain't obviously because of your AS you POS.

Craig28, if you allow the bitterness and upset to get to you you will only be hurting yourself in the long run. The best approach to relationships, and to life, is to calm down, try not to take rejection too personally, and analyze things from a logical viewpoint. The woman who turned you down may have felt threatened by you, or you may just not have been her type. This does not reflect poorly on her or on you, it's just a part of what dating is all about. It's a numbers game (as I'm sure many people have said here before), so rejection for the most part isn't personal.

Yes you are 28, but that means very little in the long run. Learning to date and find relationships can happen at any age - all it takes is for you to decide to do it, and then over time you will improve so long as you are open to integrating new information, and are able to learn from your mistakes (in a way, learning to date is like learning to read - most people do learn at a young age, but anyone who is illiterate can always start learning at any age in their life if they decide to). I have an aspie friend who had his first big relationship experience at the age of 38 - there are no age limits.

I have been turned down by quite a few people I have really liked, and every time it has really hurt but at the same time I have taught myself to step outside myself and see things from their perspective; clearly, I just was not what they were looking for, my personality, my appearance, or maybe just my lifestyle weren't what they were attracted to. I can see past that and still know that they are good people, but just not matched to me as I felt I was matched to them. I have had friends who I have turned down because I just wasn't attracted to them as they were to me, or their personality was not matched to mine; some never speak to me again, and others still like and respect me for who I am and so we maintain great friendships. I have friendships from both sides of the "rejection equation" (people who liked me, and people I liked) We all keep searching until we find a match on both sides.

Sunshower has said it all, Craig28, just wanted to add that my son tried that "I'm an Aspie" in the 4th grade for when he did things that were inappropriate ... it is not a free pass. You are intelligent, capable of learning and able to take responsibility for how you treat others to include the hardest - taking the time to learn the incredible hard nuances of relating to others. Do NOT short change yourself. NTs don't know these things automatically either ... it is a very painful process for everyone. Do not give up on yourself before you are even out of the gate.

can i go back to talking about money for a moment, and say that husband earned more than me last year.... for only the second time in 16 years. we had a few years of neck-and-neck earnings, but i was mostly the major breadwinner. he was an amazing parent to our child, got part of a master's degree done, made a short art film, wrote volumes of philosophical ideas, had an online bookstore, took care of me, etc...

our daughter took dance classes as a girl and her university will be taken care of. but we have an old beater of a vehicle, our television is from 1991, and don't own a house, so we are not rich or anything.

before him, i was young and dated other poor or unemployed boys and didn't care about money. but i can't speak for the majority of women. all i know is where my values lie, and what things are most important to me.

What free pass? I'm not after one. I'm just stating the obvious that people like me are inept in establishing relationships and that any dysfunctional in my treating women comes directly from my inexperience.

For me, a relationship is not mean't to be. When I was younger and getting nowhere, I assumed that my family would act and get me someone in my life. At age 28 now, my family has done nothing to help me. All the while they've had relationships and countless sex sessions, whereas my younger sister beat me to it. At age 26, I wastefully had to fork out nearly £100 for something that still haunts me to this day.

Hear hear, thank you mechanicalgirl39.

Whenever I hear women saying how they're entitled to look for a partner who makes more than they are I feel like throwing up. Those who want children and a lavish life-style should get off their lazy asses and make the money they want instead of leeching off some guy.

Yes, I know how harsh this sounds but this attitude really disgusts me - thankfully, where I live such parasites are not the rule.

Why do my threads always seem to have these outcomes

Because you make so many generalisations and assumptions?

This thread has got so many personal attacks in it by so many posters I don't even know where to start! Cut it out people or there will be consequences.

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