Rejected by eHarmony dating site? (Poll)

Post Reply New Topic

okay, maybe i was overestimating how often it happens. but i have an empty profile with nothing except the basics - not even a photo, and in the last 24 hours i have had 2 private messages, 1 awkward IM conversation, and 1 man who publicly added me to his favourites... yet not even one solitary woman has contacted me (or even visited my page).

IMO its still a natural selection thing. I was in an aspie group IRL and I talked about this, not just online but IRL, and we all agreed - it is a litmus test that women believe in. Ie. if he won't contact me he's not enough of a man. I'm pretty certain this is also something society has as one of its many, *many*, genetic quality checks. We might not necessarily need to fly out into a field in clear sight of a hawk and risk death to prove that we have the right to be dads, although there are plenty of guys I know personally who do similarly stupid things with their crotch rockets on the highway.

Just take it this way - its a shite world, we are monkeys and need to realize that a lot of our behavior in terms of mating expectations is in fact eugenic. Once we can swallow that pill we can decide do we like that? Is it something we need to fight like hell to reverse out of ourselves? Is it something that we need to realize is unfortunately inevitable by the nature of genetics but that we would much rather be gentler and not beat people to bits over what they can't help? I agree with the third option the most but, IMO, as a society we need to stop running from evolutionary psychology as if its this black box notion, only then I think we'll be able to melt down these biases, a lot of the pettiness that our society loves to inflict as 'necessary' and find more productive ways of dealing with it than being callous/cruel to each other. The pettiness and cruelty game, just by virtue of surviving it and having to dedicate so much time to dealing with other people's strength in ignorance, means that everyone's potential in life is clipped - even in a pure economic and brass tacks way, unhappy and beaten down people are far less efficient and far less productive, just on that it shows that fixing these things - both female to male and male to female, would be greatly in our best interest.

Sorry to go off on an essay - its just one of those topics that makes me spit up a lot.

I've reactivated. I'm not sure you're right about how Hide works - it looks like it's for hiding others from showing up, not to hide myself from them. If I'm wrong, can you show me where it says this?

Yes, when I first set up my profile on OKCupid, I also thought it was more just like an ignore feature. Although while it does stop them from showing up, someone else told me that that it hides you from them in their searches as well. I don't where it actually says that though. But if you don't like someone who keeps visiting your profile, then I assume that's what this feature is for.

I'm on anonymous mode on okcupid until my profile and pictures are filled in. I'm thinking that will be done this week.

Ok, here are my matches out of the profiles I know:

Hyperlexian:

45% match (down from 50%)
55% friend
36% enemy

Moog:

50% match
68% friend
33% enemy

Grisha:

62% match
65% friend
32% enemy

So, how did that one go?

I wish they had literal balls.

The dice made me post this, I will never consult them again.

They probably found you through this thread?

Nope. What's nice about OKCupid is that people can look for matches based on the statistics depending on how many questions were answered. The normal rules of dating profiles are still there but they become less important. Still, I would like to see a photo before I message someone.

Me n your hubby are a 74% match

Me and Spongy are a 77% Match

Looks like my greatest enemy so far is techstepgenr8tion

I've had 18 visitors since I posted my username here a few posts back

Maybe those are people from WP, or are just lurkers on this site.

I suspect a few of them are lurkers from WP, especially one who was really into anime and had dreadlocks she just struck me as being AS.
But most appear to be just local people from my area just browsing by the looks of it.

Probably a good thing, I'm more of a lover than a fighter.

Not even a thumb war?

Eh - that, competative sports/gaming, drinking contests, etc. I'm up for. The other stuff, I'd more likely have someone's back regardless of whether I share the same beliefs.