Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

What to expect?

Page 6 of 10 [ 145 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

MidlifeAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2010
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,016

12 Jan 2011, 8:44 pm

nthach wrote:
Everytime I try to change myself, I fail and get my ass handed to me. I just can't do it. I think suicide is my best option. Everytime I seek professional help, they just write me a prescription for Prozac or Zoloft and wish me a nice day.


There is no better excuse for not trying than sitting back and letting the world pass you by while playing the role of the injured party to the world's unfairness. There is no professional help. Help yourself.



wefunction
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,486

12 Jan 2011, 8:46 pm

nthach wrote:
Everytime I try to change myself, I fail and get my ass handed to me. I just can't do it. I think suicide is my best option. Everytime I seek professional help, they just write me a prescription for Prozac or Zoloft and wish me a nice day.


Suicidal thoughts and worsening depression are side effects of both of those prescriptions. Have you discussed this with your psychiatrist? Do you see a psychologist regularly for counseling sessions? Have you sought out a life coach, especially one that's experienced with men your age who experience Depression?

What's going here isn't healthy.

It doesn't seem that you're ready for any kind of relationship right now. You need to stabilize your condition and gain some self-sufficiency and confidence. You need to become a whole person before you seek to share your life with someone. Look at Grisha. He would like to have someone to share his life with, but he's also his own man. So stay off the subject of Love and Dating (both on this forum and in the world) and focus on bringing you back into good health.

Here's my suggestion, which is a lot easier than any dating advice anyone can hand out: Keep the idea of a girlfriend on the backburner for a year. Get yourself straightened up and feeling good with 2011. Give it a full 12 months. Think about girls again in 2012. What do you think?



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,415
Location: Near London United Kingdom

12 Jan 2011, 8:53 pm

ntach you should get some friends that would really help i think. my friends do help me alot get throught the tough times. Also get a hobby or something you really enjoy.



nthach
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,457
Location: SF Bay Area

12 Jan 2011, 8:54 pm

wefunction wrote:
nthach wrote:
Everytime I try to change myself, I fail and get my ass handed to me. I just can't do it. I think suicide is my best option. Everytime I seek professional help, they just write me a prescription for Prozac or Zoloft and wish me a nice day.


Suicidal thoughts and worsening depression are side effects of both of those prescriptions. Have you discussed this with your psychiatrist? Do you see a psychologist regularly for counseling sessions? Have you sought out a life coach, especially one that's experienced with men your age who experience Depression?

What's going here isn't healthy.

It doesn't seem that you're ready for any kind of relationship right now. You need to stabilize your condition and gain some self-sufficiency and confidence. You need to become a whole person before you seek to share your life with someone. Look at Grisha. He would like to have someone to share his life with, but he's also his own man. So stay off the subject of Love and Dating (both on this forum and in the world) and focus on bringing you back into good health.

Here's my suggestion, which is a lot easier than any dating advice anyone can hand out: Keep the idea of a girlfriend on the backburner for a year. Get yourself straightened up and feeling good with 2011. Give it a full 12 months. Think about girls again in 2012. What do you think?

I'm not on meds now. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist on Monday, and I had an intake interview for a counseling program. I just feel there is so much missing in my life, and I'm compelled to rush the whole process of finding a girlfriend. There's no one locally who can help me out here, so I need to settle for band-aid fixes. Life coaches are EXPENSIVE, I'm a broke college student.

But I can't wait until 2012. As soon as I graduate from college, I'm doomed. And if my sex drive starts to flare up... :(



Last edited by nthach on 12 Jan 2011, 9:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Grisha
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Oct 2009
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,336
Location: LA-ish

12 Jan 2011, 8:55 pm

wefunction wrote:
nthach wrote:
Everytime I try to change myself, I fail and get my ass handed to me. I just can't do it. I think suicide is my best option. Everytime I seek professional help, they just write me a prescription for Prozac or Zoloft and wish me a nice day.


Suicidal thoughts and worsening depression are side effects of both of those prescriptions. Have you discussed this with your psychiatrist? Do you see a psychologist regularly for counseling sessions? Have you sought out a life coach, especially one that's experienced with men your age who experience Depression?

What's going here isn't healthy.

It doesn't seem that you're ready for any kind of relationship right now. You need to stabilize your condition and gain some self-sufficiency and confidence. You need to become a whole person before you seek to share your life with someone. Look at Grisha. He would like to have someone to share his life with, but he's also his own man. So stay off the subject of Love and Dating (both on this forum and in the world) and focus on bringing you back into good health.

Here's my suggestion, which is a lot easier than any dating advice anyone can hand out: Keep the idea of a girlfriend on the backburner for a year. Get yourself straightened up and feeling good with 2011. Give it a full 12 months. Think about
girls again in 2012. What do you think?


I hated to hear it when I was in your situation, but it was really good advice in retrospect. I was in therapy with issues very similar to yours continuously for almost 10 years. There's no way I would be as (relatively) high-functioning as I am without it.

Sure I still have a huge problem getting dates, but that's not a big deal in the larger scheme of things - do what you have to do to take care of yourself first.



emlion
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,641

12 Jan 2011, 8:55 pm

You won't find a girl if you rush.
We know if you're just picking any girl because you want a girlfriend. :roll:
You need to wait until you find someone special - not just someone to fill the gap.



wefunction
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,486

12 Jan 2011, 9:19 pm

Experienced and specialized life coaches can cost anywhere from $150 - $600 / month. While that may not be an option right now, it certainly may be something to keep in mind after graduation.



Kilroy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,549
Location: Beyond the Void

12 Jan 2011, 9:27 pm

I'll scream at you for free



wefunction
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,486

12 Jan 2011, 9:53 pm

Kilroy wrote:
I'll scream at you for free


Sam Kinisen, Life Coach.



Kilroy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,549
Location: Beyond the Void

12 Jan 2011, 9:55 pm

wefunction wrote:
Kilroy wrote:
I'll scream at you for free


Sam Kinisen, Life Coach.


I can also make you quit smoking



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,680
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

12 Jan 2011, 9:55 pm

wefunction wrote:
Experienced and specialized life coaches can cost anywhere from $150 - $600 / month. While that may not be an option right now, it certainly may be something to keep in mind after graduation.

That's expensive. You wouldn't have time to use it because you'd be to busy working to pay for it


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


Kilroy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,549
Location: Beyond the Void

12 Jan 2011, 9:55 pm

you're too short



MR20
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 945

12 Jan 2011, 10:07 pm

I don't have any hope of meeting or talking to anyone let alone a girl. Part of it is Asperger's, the other part is that I'm a ret*d.

I haven't showered in 6 months, I haven't been outside in two. I have nothing more than a 5th grade education, so I have no prospects for a real job. I spend most of my day watching TV, anime, and playing video games. I am extremely ugly, uninteresting, and don't have anything to offer anyone.

I have no friends other than my grandma and sister, I am also poor and living off SSI and Social Security. I have no future whatsoever.

I'm probably going to spend the rest of my days lonely and depressed until I finally off myself.



Kilroy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,549
Location: Beyond the Void

12 Jan 2011, 10:08 pm

maybe you should shower and take a walk
doesn't sound so hard



nthach
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,457
Location: SF Bay Area

12 Jan 2011, 10:12 pm

MidlifeAspie wrote:
nthach wrote:
Everytime I try to change myself, I fail and get my ass handed to me. I just can't do it. I think suicide is my best option. Everytime I seek professional help, they just write me a prescription for Prozac or Zoloft and wish me a nice day.


There is no better excuse for not trying than sitting back and letting the world pass you by while playing the role of the injured party to the world's unfairness. There is no professional help. Help yourself.

And that's what my parents told me. I can't. :roll:



MR20
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 945

12 Jan 2011, 10:13 pm

Kilroy wrote:
maybe you should shower and take a walk
doesn't sound so hard


It does when your bathroom is infested with rats and you don't have hot water in the winter. Besides that I don't have the motivation to do it regularly. It's something I've struggled with since I was young(er)