Why is dating considerably easier after 40

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I would suggest that you guys focus your time posting on web forums instead of dating sites. I found my 1st girl 8 years ago by posting on Comedy Central's forums a lot. I spent a lot of time after tying different dating sites & I never had any luck at all except wasting my time getting rejected. I found my 2nd/current/hopefully last girl recently here on WP by making a post.

@nick007:Online forums can work. I´ve had it happen and I wasnt looking for a relationship(ages ago I was at a chatroom where I met a girll with similar interests and it went on from there), the thing is that your chance of finding someone you can get along with that´s also available and lives within your are is fairly low/non existant and long distance relationships started on the internet dont usually work(I wish you and megz all the best and hope that everything works well for you two and I just saw pictures of a newly wed couple that met here on fb but most times it doesnt work out) so I don´t think that any male looking for a partner should limit himself to posting on a board and hoping he gets lucky.

You´ve been here for over a year, until you met megz you were complaining about how most of the females here werent willing to give any guy a chance. Should other males spend over a year on a board just hoping someone will eventually show up?or should they try to look elsewhere at the same time if they can?(I understand that not everyone can do dating sites and trying to meet new people but imo if they can they should try that before).

I wasn't looking for my 1st relationship either. I spent years not even getting a chance on dating sites & when I posted about women not giving me a chance; that was what I was referring to. I did get the impression from some women here that they had unreasonably high standards & would not give most guys a chance but I was not really trying to find someone here & I certainly was NOT expecting to. I think lots of the guys here would be better off avoiding the dating sties because dating sites have a much higher percentage of guys than women so lots of guys(especially those who who have less going for em like Aspies tend to) get overlooked in favor of guys who seem more successful. Most of the guys who talked about dating sites here are extremely frustrated & disappointed by em. Posting in forums gives us a chance to show our personalities better than writing a few paragraphs in a profile or taking a compatibility quiz. I also find posting helps me sort things out & feel better where as using dating sites made me upset because I was constantly rejected time & time again. I'm NOT saying that anyone should limit themselves but I think it's a lot better to focus on things where our personalities can show more because a lot of us have great ones.

Thanx for your support. I really appreciate it

Pretty much. Its just biomechanical impulses. Nothing magical about it.

Hi, I'm a complete newbie so please forgive me if I've broken any rules posting this
I was reading this thread as I'm dating in my late 30's..
I just wanted to ask, Aspie_Chav have you written your profile like you did your post about yourself and your view of romance? I thought that sounded GORGEOUS!!
My idea of romance would have to be sharing those amazing moments together, where it feels like the world's stopped turning. I'd really like to go on a date that takes me right into the heart of the nature. A spot where we're surrounded by beautiful countryside but only have eyes for one another. I want to be with a girl who makes me feel invigorated and energised and confident and inspired, who makes me want to be myself and more, who encourages me and thrills me and makes me really delicious dinner every now and then. If love was a place it would be a a picnic in the woods, a place that you can really breathe and hear yourself think. I want someone who will surprise and inspire me and make me laugh so much that my tummy hurts.

I bet you'd melt a few hearts with the way you write, or at least send people off on their day with beautiful images in their mind (as you just did to me!) I have similar dreams, and partial experiences of it. I loved all that you wrote actually, including the way you described your techno quirks and the way you wrote it (just as a far distant stranger, I thought it might be nice to say it to you, hope that's okay)

I've been really honest in my profile, tons of writing in a similar vein to you about sunlight and flowerpetal showers with my daughter and whichever social history/classic novel I'm obsessing about at the time and I seem to get lots of positive responses and feedback from people who appreciate the quirkiness.. and expect to meet a quirky person I've made some lovely friends and had some lovely experiences although still nothing quite right yet ..

So good luck to you, and to everyone (including myself! ) in the dating world and indeed everything xxxx

Yes, I agree. I don't want that either.


Oh, they go for older guys who have a stable situation. Someone they can depend on. Being currently unemployed for over a year and a half, I guess that's not too attractive.


The thing (for me, at least) is finding a single woman around 40 who hasn't had any children yet but wants to...

First Impression = Money

Yeah, it's kind of funny how much of an aphrodisiac money is to most women. Of course, there's more to it than that (They have to be interpersonally "compatible", too.)...

... except that it really isn't, besides those women who are shallow, which is a minority. just like *most* men don't put that much emphasis on female appearance.

What planet do you live on again?

Maybe I'm more aware of how "normal guys" think because I talk to them fairly often, but I swear that most guys place a lot of value on appearance. Or, easiness (Word gets around)...

[I'm sorry if I missed the sarcasm.]

appearance and money are not the only factors in choosing a mate, nor are they the necessarily the primary factors. they are just... factors...

perhaps if you look around, you will notice that poor men and less-attractive women DO find and keep mates (and they are not just with each other!).

True, there's variance in the emphasis individuals place on different factors, but most guys do place a high importance on appearance and the other important factor after that is interpersonal compatibility.



Just because appearance or wealth is a factor doesn't mean that "losers" can't play the game. Even losers win... sometimes, if they're willing to compromise.

i think that men may notice a woman's appearance first (which stands to reason because nobody can really see a personality walking around), but there are many factors that go into choosing a mate, some of which are not even conscious.


i wouldn't call poor people or less attractive people "losers", first off. money and good looks don't necessarily equal "winning" as they won't get a person anywhere in life without other factors or attributes.

and the idea of compromise implies that a person could only get a less-worthy mate if they are poorer or less attractive, but i do not believe that is the case. they could attract someone who is absolutely perfect for them.

I know, I'm simply being inflammatory in my word choices. But, it does accurately label a group of people in society and it's far easier to refer to them with a five letter word than something like "The sociologically, aesthetically and economically disadvantaged.".



To a loser male, nearly anything is perfect for them.

yeah. don't do that.


as above. men with less money or women who are less good looking are not losers. and they are not necessarily desperate either, which you seem to be implying.

Aye, aye!



Sociologically, aesthetically and economically disadvantaged males tend to be desperate because dateless males tend to be desperate and most guys want dates. Looking around the Love and Dating forum seems to rest my case.

I know it's different for sociologically, aesthetically and economically disadvantaged females because there are many guys who'll hit on anything with a pootang, but still, that's not an accurate characterization of sociologically, aesthetically and economically disadvantaged males.