I don't care if people call me a "misogynist"

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22 Aug 2011, 2:16 pm

Thanks hyperlexian. I'm just sick of the blame game by certain individuals on this thread. Funny that none of them have answered my last post. Maybe I left them without words?

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Henbane
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22 Aug 2011, 2:40 pm

^^

That's an awesome post Tomboy. Thankyou for sharing that.

tomboy4good
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22 Aug 2011, 2:49 pm

Henbane wrote:

^^

That's an awesome post Tomboy. Thankyou for sharing that.

Hi Henbane, thanks! I'm just tired of the whining by certain individuals who "cry woe is me." Feeling sorry for themselves will only make them more repulsive. Even people who might actually like them, probably would avoid them like the plague with such a poor self-attitude.. I'm not saying I haven't had my own moments of self-pity. Just saying that if you don't like the results, go do something about it. Find something you like about the world instead of finding fault with everything & everyone else in it. Whining is definitely not the answer.

cdfox7
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22 Aug 2011, 4:33 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

cdfox7 wrote:

Any statistical proof to back that up now? Plus are you discounting divorcees, widows and widowers from that?

here's the proof:

in a group of 20 people, 10 men and 10 women, if half are married... that leaves an equal number of men and women single. it's simple mathematics.

if you have any evidence to the contrary, i'd like to see it.

exceptions are: same sex marriage, polygamy, and the disproportionate number of females on earth. but i believe those factors are not common enough to make a large difference.

Its simple arithmetic with creative use of theoretical probability to manipulate the data you provided to back your point.
With your use of logical implication in your theoretical sample there will be a .5 probability that you are right. Also if you take into account the exceptions we discussed with your 'sample' of 20 people that will also go against the point that you made.

Please stop taking the piss with spin doctored statistics.

hyperlexian wrote:

cdfox7 wrote:

The guy asked you a simple question your avoiding it, if he wanted to hear other women's reasons don't you think he would asked them for that. He asked you!

my point was that i don't think that men have it harder, and i also don't think women have it harder. both are invalid arguments... so there is no point in providing examples for something that is not true.

Have you ever thought of having a career in politics?

hyperlexian wrote:

cdfox7 wrote:

From what I read of that comment it did give me the impression that you were talking about relationships in general. That comment was valid for short term relationships as well as long term. People who effectively communicate understand that other people prescribe the meaning to what they said when communicating to others. You just implied a meaning to own comment to get yourself off a sticky wicket.

take it however you want. men and women have different challenges, and being able to get laid easily is not something that women usually consider to be a good thing. so it holds no advantage for most (but not all) women. long-term relationships are something that most (but not all) women would prefer to have - rather than random sex - so the challenges are largely in that arena. and not every woman even finds it easy to get laid... it depends on a lot of factors.

hans66 and cdfox7 if you want to read an excellent account of one experience what it can be like to be a woman, read what tomboy4good has written.

[/quote]

Are you implying that am a misogynist? I lived with three women for over 20 years, was looked after by three women as a child (all members of my own family and in a gender minority as a male in my own family) and have many female friends so am well aware of what is it like to a woman, thank you!

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22 Aug 2011, 5:20 pm

simon_says wrote:

You have a problem that inhibits your ability to play a 200,000+ year old game...

It's not a game, it's an adventure!

It's damned, cursed, stinking adventure....that sucks.

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22 Aug 2011, 5:24 pm

cdfox7... no, i am not implying you are a misogynist. but you cannot know what it is like to live as a female any more than i know what it is like to be a male. just like neither of us knows what it is like to be an NT. we may have empathy for people in different circumstances but we have not walked in their shoes so our understanding is limited. i am not going to address the rest of your reply as it seems designed to be inflammatory.

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Last edited by hyperlexian on 22 Aug 2011, 6:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

cdfox7
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22 Aug 2011, 5:53 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

i am not going to address the rest of your reply as it seems to be designed to be inflammatory.

That is how you read and interpreted my comments and its appears that you still have unfinished business with me/ Do you really think that was imflammatory? I don't think that it was! When You Point One Finger, Three Point Back At You!!

Let me make this perfectly clear if you got an issue with me have the courage to directly assertive yourself, have I made myself clear about it?

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22 Aug 2011, 6:20 pm

cdfox7 wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

i am not going to address the rest of your reply as it seems to be designed to be inflammatory.

yes, it did seem inflammatory, in that it had nothing to do with the discussion at hand... part of it was about me personally, and the other part of it was a lot of talking that did not actually address my point with any evidence or valid argument.

i do not have an issue with you, and i do not have any unfinished business. further, i don't have anything more to discuss with you on this thread, unless you have a point of some kind that is not directed at me specifically.

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23 Aug 2011, 12:54 am

anna-banana wrote:

[

when I see your BS I simply call it out. it's not personal. I wish you well and I wish you'd all just get girlfriends and stop making these depressing and pointless threads.

If these threads are so "depressing" and "pointless", why do you keep posting in them? I mean it's not like anyone has put a gun to your head and forced you in here.

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23 Aug 2011, 1:05 am

anna-banana wrote:

MR20 wrote:

I've changed myself numerous times over the past years to try and fit in.

At age 12 (...)

where you're making a big mistake is that you've made a judgement about people based on their behaviour as teens. teenagers are f**** up, period. I doubt there's 1 person here who haven't been bullied or who haven't absolutely hated high school.

thing is, most people grow out of that. teenagers aren't fully developed humans yet (brain development goes on till you're in your twenties, so essentially, teenagers are like mentally disabled adults, to a degree ;P) so making a judgement about the whole humanity based on your high-school experience is bound to be inaccurate.

you're still a very, very young man. your "experience" is not statistically significant

It's carried into my early 20's as well. People still treat me the same today as they did 7-8 years ago. I still get ridiculed for being slow, ugly, uneducated and dressing "bumish" by different men and women. It's only decreased because I spend most of my time these days locked up in my house, wrapped up in my own interests, and away from social contact.

BTW, I don't really care for you disregarding my past experiences.

MR20
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23 Aug 2011, 1:14 am

tomboy4good wrote:

Henbane wrote:

^^

That's an awesome post Tomboy. Thankyou for sharing that.

Have you seen me talk about my life? People have never liked me even when I was nice, so that's besides the point. I'm a 25 year old ugly, uneducated, ret*d, poor, bum that has no friends, has never dated, spends most of my time locked up in the house playing video games, watching anime and there's nothing I can do to change it.

f**k if you call it "whining" Of course I'm going to feel a certain way about myself. I wish people would see me and talk to me. You'd then really see how pathetic and hopeless I am.

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23 Aug 2011, 1:18 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

MR20, I thought you were 50.

Why did you think that?

Scytholder
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23 Aug 2011, 1:38 am

tomboy4good wrote:

I am going to address all the so-called misogynists here. If all women have it so wonderfully easy, then why has my life been so hellishn from my earliest memories? I've been physically & emotionally abused since I was a baby. Had few friends all through childhood or even my adult years. My parents hated me, so home life sucked. There wasn't even a safe place in my neighborhood where I could hang out with anyone who liked me (they just didn't exist). Going to school meant torment from peers as well as teachers. Just getting to/from school was a scary ritual, because I never knew where someone would be just waiting for me to pass by so they could attack me. By the time I got into junior high & high school, I learned that people singled me out to abuse. It was a fun game, but it was not for me!

In junior high & all through high school, I was just there for the mass entertainment of others. I never dated, never attended a dance with a boy, never knew what that was like. I got ridiculed for being a freak that no one wanted to be seen with unless it was just to hurt me. All boys my age hated my guts & found it far more fun to hit, kick, & otherwise hurt me (this happened all through high school). Girls didn't much like me either & called me names & also physically attacked me (stopped after I got a reputation for fighting back halfway through HS). I spent most of my life alone...wanting to have friends & dates, but it just didn't happen. When I reached out to others, I got laughed at or worse. I did not date until I got out of high school & even that was rare. I was not attractive enough (wrong personality, wrong interests, wrong everything). I was still considered a freak! Guys my age just weren't interested in me. It left me feeling like a defect since I saw guys flirting & hooking up with other girls. It just rarely ever happened to me. I was forced into a marriage by my mom when I was 24 (big mistake). More physical & emotional abuse, & it went on long after I left him.

If I fought back, I was at fault/blamed for it. If I tried to ignore the abuse, the abusers just found me more irresistable to taunt & torment. But I love how the guys on this thread think that girls never suffer with stuff like I went through. So guys, are you all saying that the mental & physical abuse was just my imagination? If so, then you have no clue about how hard it is for anyone to deal with abuse. Guys are not the only ones who get rejected you know. It happens to girls too. I'm pretty sure I am not the only female on earth to experience the stuff I have or to have been rejected for dates. And why even lament about something like this in a forum where the majority (no matter what gender) has been mistreated or ignored by others?

I have been rejected well into my 40s. Thankfully, I found a guy who's a lot like me & we now have a really great relationship. But it's only taken me until my 40s to get there. Does it mean the bullying has stopped? Only temporarily because I quit my last job to get away from it. Some women never find the right guy, just like some guys don't find the right girl. Stop insulting all women by saying that we are 100% to blame for your failure to meet someone. I guarantee if I was the same age as you right now, you'd find me completely repulsive, if you bothered to acknowledge me at all. Part of what makes a misogynist rejected is the hate he projects about women. If you are truly serious about fixing the problem, you'll need to confront & deal with your anger. And stop blaming others for your own short comings!

Tomboy

I didn't read through this whole thread, so I'm not sure what the guys here are arguing about, but there is one thing I'd like to point to you, Tomboy.

Despite your bad experiences, you still managed to have dates before the age of 40 and you are now in your second marriage. So there have been guys interested in you.

There are guys (and girls) who hit old age without ever having to experience the pleasant experiences that come with romance and relationships.

What's your overall argument really?

AsteroidNap
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23 Aug 2011, 1:55 am

Scytholder wrote:

tomboy4good wrote:

Tomboy "...a whole lot of poignant and heartfelt experiences..."

Did you internalize anything Tomboy wrote??? "Despite her bad experiences..." ?! That's like saying, "Despite being sexually molested, you still had sex" Or "Despite being hit by a freight train, at least you got a new car out of the deal."

Seriously, wtf? There were abusers interested in her...how is that a plus? And then somehow you conflate that into the "pleasant experiences that come with romance and relationships." The cherry on top? You seem to want to shame her for sharing this experience in her life.

Such a classy approach. Perhaps you SHOULD read the entirety of the thread next time?

Scytholder
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23 Aug 2011, 2:41 am

AsteroidNap wrote:

Did you internalize anything Tomboy wrote???

I'm pretty sure I did. Did you internalize anything I myself said in that post?

Quote:

"Despite her bad experiences..." ?! That's like saying, "Despite being sexually molested, you still had sex" Or "Despite being hit by a freight train, at least you got a new car out of the deal."

So she had bad experiences. Do you see me denying them?

We've all had bad experiences, but we also have good experiences in our lives. Same for her.

Quote:

Seriously, wtf? There were abusers interested in her...how is that a plus?

I wasn't talking about the abusers specifically. Read her post carefully and see what else she implied.

Quote:

And then somehow you conflate that into the "pleasant experiences that come with romance and relationships." The cherry on top? You seem to want to shame her for sharing this experience in her life.

If that is truly the case, then why are you trying to shame me for sharing my thoughts about what she herself said? Are you a hypocrite?

Quote:

Such a classy approach. Perhaps you SHOULD read the entirety of the thread next time?

I didn't ask for your opinion about my approach. I think I'm free to use whatever approach I choose to use here.

tomboy4good
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23 Aug 2011, 10:06 am

@Scytholder, without going into specifics, I was implying that life is what you make it. Maybe you would have figured that out had you actually taken the time to read my post. Good or bad, I have tried to do the best I could with my circumstances. I've tried to do it without whining. I have low points, but do have to get up & go on. For some reason, people think I am filthy rich & spoiled. I have little money...never had much, & most likely will die dirt poor, unless I win a lottery (so far no luck there). Growing up, I lived in a middle class home, even if it was abusive. I was forced into hard labor as a child because my parents had their own business & put me to work doing chores far beyond my years-backbreaking work. Kept me out until the wee hours in the morning even on school nights. I was expected to get up & go to school sleep deprived, & tired, & expected to get along with the kids & teachers, & do well in school-which I didn't. Even though I was most often beat up, & taunted by peers & even teachers. Am I happy with my lot in life? Not really. I'd love to have enough money to live comfortably without struggle. So far, it's been unobtainable...I doubt it will change. However, I do my best to be content with what I do have, & try not to be envious of others who have more than me.

Yeah men were interested in me for SEX. They were not interested in me as a human being or treating me well. I was used & controlled by men. It all started back when I was a child of 9. I guess you think I enjoyed it. My dad even gave him permission (right in front of me) to sexually abuse me. My 1st marriage was abusive in every form you can think of. It wasn't a bed of roses. Even worse was a judge who said I chose to marry him (arranged marriage by his family & my mother), & a psych evaluator (a misogynist himself) who claimed I'd never been abused. How would he know? He was never present in my relationship at any point during the marriage, nor did he stop my ex from abusing me in his presence. In fact, he rather enjoyed watching my ex hurt me. In the end, I had my kids taken away from me because my abuser would not stand for me to even have custody of my only biological family. That's all I wanted...my 2 kids. It broke my heart, & worse no one gave a rats' behind how much it hurt me, but also my kids who basically grew up without a mom.

I could be as bitter & angry as others on this thread. I have had nothing but a lifetime of mistreatment until I reached my 40s. You act as though it's been really fun for me or that at least portions have been wonderful. Thanks! Hope you never know anyone who has gone through what I have. I don't recommend it as it tore me down psychologically & physically. I hit my lowest point after losing custody, I almost ended my life. But had I done that, my ex would have gotten exactly what he wanted. So here I am, still plugging away even when things are not all rosy.

Oh & one more thing...my ex has never remarried though he's been in a few relationships. He just doesn't know how to treat women other than to abuse them. Fitting really...he's also lost his home (no job prospects for years), & if he keeps going, will lose the kids too.

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