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Are there even any women that approach men?

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hale_bopp
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23 Sep 2011, 9:25 am

Grisha wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
mds_02 wrote:
Yeah. It is easy for me to see why a lot of guys become so bitter. Hell, I was one. There are a lot of women out there who seem to take pleasure in completely crushing some poor bastard whose only crime was to find her attractive. But the trick is to say to yourself "F--- her" and keep trying.


The only people I've ever seen portray that sort of rudeness are women who think they are better than they are.

In other words, deluded.


I hate when some woman automatically assumes that you're hitting on her just because you asked her for directions or something, and it always seems to be the ones that you wouldn't touch with someone else's ten-foot pole... :roll:


Women who think men are always hitting on them or go on about it a lot usually have a self esteem problem or a deluded opinion of how great they are. I've known a lot of these in my life and they've never gotten less annoying.



mv
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23 Sep 2011, 9:52 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Grisha wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
mds_02 wrote:
Yeah. It is easy for me to see why a lot of guys become so bitter. Hell, I was one. There are a lot of women out there who seem to take pleasure in completely crushing some poor bastard whose only crime was to find her attractive. But the trick is to say to yourself "F--- her" and keep trying.


The only people I've ever seen portray that sort of rudeness are women who think they are better than they are.

In other words, deluded.


I hate when some woman automatically assumes that you're hitting on her just because you asked her for directions or something, and it always seems to be the ones that you wouldn't touch with someone else's ten-foot pole... :roll:


Women who think men are always hitting on them or go on about it a lot usually have a self esteem problem or a deluded opinion of how great they are. I've known a lot of these in my life and they've never gotten less annoying.


Even if one was a woman who truly believed that (that men were constantly hitting on them), deluded or not, there's just absolutely no call for that kind of rudeness.

I think, unfortunately, that when people are that rude in that kind of situation it's because they feel threatened or victimized, I don't think it's about being "superior". It's a sort of posturing, to indicate extreme discomfort, like a man who stands up or puffs out his chest when a bar fight is imminent. Just a broader perspective to consider.

Not saying that the guy who does the approaching deserves what he gets. That's her issue, not his. If all people were committed to behaving civilly, we wouldn't have these problems.



Karuna
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23 Sep 2011, 9:55 am

Haha, i don't hit on any girls whatsoever. Strangely that works as an approach, girls are messed up.



spidertea
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23 Sep 2011, 9:57 am

The women who do the approaching to men are for the following reasons:

1. They have the confidence in themselves to choose who they want.

or

2. How they grew up and where, some places in the world have the women do the approaching to the men then the other way round.

There can be many other reasons why a woman will do so, if she is immature (like an secondary school girl) then she will do it just to crush you or humiliate you to make herself feel good, its unlikely that this will happen but it is a possibility. Another reason could be that she just doesn't have anything to lose from asking you out so its a "might as well" kind of thing.

But what any male has to remember is we do it to women as well but because its very common in most places in the world for the man to do the approach, we think we are victimized when in fact we are not at all the victim and it does happen on both sides.



simon_says
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23 Sep 2011, 10:02 am

Quote:
Yeah. It is easy for me to see why a lot of guys become so bitter. Hell, I was one. There are a lot of women out there who seem to take pleasure in completely crushing some poor bastard whose only crime was to find her attractive. But the trick is to say to yourself "F--- her" and keep trying.


When I was just starting out I had a girl at a bar respond to me with, "I have AIDS". But I couldnt detect lies so I tried to console her. :lol: She liked that I was an idiot and things turned around.



hyperlexian
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23 Sep 2011, 11:19 am

simon_says wrote:
Quote:
Yeah. It is easy for me to see why a lot of guys become so bitter. Hell, I was one. There are a lot of women out there who seem to take pleasure in completely crushing some poor bastard whose only crime was to find her attractive. But the trick is to say to yourself "F--- her" and keep trying.


When I was just starting out I had a girl at a bar respond to me with, "I have AIDS". But I couldnt detect lies so I tried to console her. :lol: She liked that I was an idiot and things turned around.

i had a girl walk up to me and tell me that her friend found me really hot (at a gay bar), so i went over to talk to her. it felt awkward because the girl wouldn't really talk to me. i finally wandered away and my friends told me that that group of girls was just playing some kind of joke on the lesbian/bisexual women in the club. it was embarrassing.

another time i asked a guy to dance at a (straight) bar and he laughed in my face. i got turned down a lot by men but that one was like a punch in the gut.

but i didn't give up and sometimes i got talking to someone nice. i never managed to turn one around like you did, though!


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hale_bopp
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23 Sep 2011, 11:25 am

I told some sleazy pick up artist I was a lesbian so he would bugger off once.



SadAspy
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23 Sep 2011, 11:48 am

hale_bopp wrote:
I told some sleazy pick up artist I was a lesbian so he would bugger off once.


Translation: you told an UGLY guy you were a lesbian so he would bugger off lol.



hale_bopp
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23 Sep 2011, 11:51 am

SadAspy wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
I told some sleazy pick up artist I was a lesbian so he would bugger off once.


Translation: you told an UGLY guy you were a lesbian so he would bugger off lol.


:roll: :roll:

Wasn't ugly.



Grisha
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23 Sep 2011, 11:55 am

mds_02 wrote:
A week or two later I saw a girl at the supermarket. I got behind her in line and said, very straightforwardly, "Hi, I'm Chris. I don't mean to bother you, but you're really pretty. Can I take you out to dinner sometime?" The old me would never have had the balls to say that, especially after the earlier rejection. The old me wouldn't have gone on two dates with this very attractive girl. Things didn't work out in the end, but still.


Dude, that's awesome!

That approach + two dates is something I would be immensely proud of. :thumleft:



SadAspy
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23 Sep 2011, 11:56 am

hale_bopp wrote:
SadAspy wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
I told some sleazy pick up artist I was a lesbian so he would bugger off once.


Translation: you told an UGLY guy you were a lesbian so he would bugger off lol.


:roll: :roll:

Wasn't ugly.


Okay so maybe he was average-looking...either way, you weren't attracted to him so you use a word like "sleazy." I notice women throw around words like sleazy, awkward, and creepy to describe men they aren't attracted to hitting on them.



hale_bopp
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23 Sep 2011, 11:57 am

Grisha wrote:
mds_02 wrote:
A week or two later I saw a girl at the supermarket. I got behind her in line and said, very straightforwardly, "Hi, I'm Chris. I don't mean to bother you, but you're really pretty. Can I take you out to dinner sometime?" The old me would never have had the balls to say that, especially after the earlier rejection. The old me wouldn't have gone on two dates with this very attractive girl. Things didn't work out in the end, but still.


Dude, that's awesome!

That approach + two dates is something I would be immensely proud of. :thumleft:


I agree. It's daring - and if it pays off - well done.. if it doesn't.. well, you can't say you didn't try. :)



hale_bopp
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23 Sep 2011, 11:58 am

SadAspy wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
SadAspy wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
I told some sleazy pick up artist I was a lesbian so he would bugger off once.


Translation: you told an UGLY guy you were a lesbian so he would bugger off lol.


:roll: :roll:

Wasn't ugly.


Okay so maybe he was average-looking...either way, you weren't attracted to him so you use a word like "sleazy." I notice women throw around words like sleazy, awkward, and creepy to describe men they aren't attracted to hitting on them.


This guy wasn't "AWKWARD" HE was an ALPHA MALE. For gods sake. I'm going to report you if you don't stop egging people on. I didn't say anything about the guy being Awkward or creepy.

And no, I wasn't attracted to him, because I don't do one night stands. They are disgusting. The last reason I go to a bar is to pick up men.



SadAspy
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23 Sep 2011, 12:01 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
I'm going to report you if you don't stop egging people on.


Go for it.

Quote:
I didn't say anything about the guy being Awkward or creepy.


You said sleazy, which is a synonym.



simon_says
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23 Sep 2011, 12:04 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
but i didn't give up and sometimes i got talking to someone nice. i never managed to turn one around like you did, though!


I turned it into a friendly evening but that's all. I was young and didn't know anything. I was just practicing approaches. That she suspected I was a player was vaguely flattering.

Some people can certainly be rude but I've made mistakes myself.



Last edited by simon_says on 23 Sep 2011, 12:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

hale_bopp
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23 Sep 2011, 12:05 pm

SadAspy wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
I'm going to report you if you don't stop egging people on.


Go for it.

Quote:
I didn't say anything about the guy being Awkward or creepy.


You said sleazy, which is a synonym.


No, it isn't. Sleazy has a completely different meaning to both of those.