Am I ugly?

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I don't think you're ugly, but you seem kind of menacing.

^^ the solution for this: Smile.

Well, people are ignoring the elephant in the room a bit here in this thread. You're black. Basically, to put it shortly without me writing 8 paragraphs like I generally do, black people with Aspergers, tend to act, well, white. How often have you hung around white folks? White folks tend to enjoy black people who don't call everyone niggas and can speak English in the appropriate manner without constant slang. In some ways, being black, having Aspergers is a Godsend, as you're not going to conform to the idiocy around you in black culture as much. Thus, in the real world outside of "the hood" you might do really awesome.

You know, bathe, wear clean clothes. If you smell, cover it up with cologne at the very least. One thing, your hair, you should get your head shaved or comb your hair. Combing your hair if you're black is kinda hard, as you gotta like, rake it. I'd not get cornrows ever, I knew someone that was white, upon a black person attempting to braid his hair, remarked "Man, now I know why black people are always mad all the time." But as far as your looks, the only physical feature that seems "off" is one eye is closed slightly more than the other. That, and you are somewhat overweight. However, I will argue black people can get away with being overweight more than white people, hell, look at the rapper Rick Ross, he's fat as hell and still somehow successful. I mean generally only fat white people are used for comedic relief, but he's trying to market himself as some super cool gangsta n***a from the streetz or something. So yeah, I'm going to err on the side of "basic grooming" and you'll be fine. You could stand to lose a little weight, but really, you're not really anymore fat than average nowadays.

Really though, I'm probably going to get called insensitive and/or racist for this post, but yeah, truthfulness is what you want. Have you hung around with white people much? Especially nerdy groups, anime clubs, etc? You'd probably be surprised at how well they'd accept you. I mean, it's not going to be perfect, but I'm gonna take a gander that it'll work out better than black people. Black Aspergians seem to have trouble with their own race. Like, Darius McCollum, he's a famous train "thief", he ended up getting obsessed with trains as a kid. Why? Some kid in his class stabbed him when he was like 10 and he almost died, so he'd skip school and ride the train.

Black people that are "different" have it hard. My best friend, I don't know if I'd apply Aspergers/etc to him, but he is a bit "different" and people say he's like a more outgoing black version of me, but he's half black (looks full black, as his dad is Wesley Snipes dark, and his mom is Portuguese) and he's dealt with lots of issues relating to this sorta stuff. Black people think he's weird, white people think he's weird, and he's had to learn to adapt to both. But overall, I'd say he's got many more acquaintances and friends that are white. He's found a great niche in airsoft, and is a good airsoft sniper, and like me and you, likes anime and video games and all that great stuff, and is staff at Connecticon anime convention.

So yeah, as racially insensitive as this sounds, try to get out of the "urban culture" the most you can. It's dumb. I say this from experience, having been to jail around black people, and now living in a "black neighborhood." It's a toxic culture, that shuns knowledge and any degree of intellectualness at all.

(I'm probably going to get flamed like hell now.)

Anyway, that's my suggestion, bathe, groom, all that fun stuff, you'll be fine. Maybe lose a little weight, but no, you don't look grossly disfigured or anything. Oddly, I never use soap anymore, but I shower everyday. I just rinse down well with water and I'm fine, no shampoo either. Just shower everyday. You could try that, at the very least, it'd be better than not showering at all. Perhaps soap/shampoo/etc is your sensory issue with the showering thing. But seriously, having been in close proximity with people who don't shower as often as they should (in jail) it's not nice.

And yeah, my other not too racially sensitive suggestion, you could always try that. Maybe you have, no idea.


If you still think you're ugly, could be worse. I know this guy personally. He's actually had like half a dozen girlfriends. No joke. He posts here, too. At least you're not him.

I don't know about racism. I try not to complain about being black and how hard it may be, because I would be doing a disservice to the millions of civil rights people before my time.

I think it may have been a problem with me black AND having aspergers. I tended to have a completely different belief system than the blacks I grew up around (I grew up and still live in a very bad part of my city, basically the hood).

You know, fighting and the need to be "hard", selling and using drugs/alcohol, having a bunch of sex with women then ignore their feelings. (that's were terms "we don't love them ho's" and "money before b*****s" comes from)

I was less aggressive by nature, and I just couldn't identify with any of that stuff. I hated BET and although I listen to some rap, I like mostly jpop, rock, drum and bass, and some techno. I like anime and video game RPGs, you know things black people weren't really into. My peers never really got me.

It was like, if you can't fight, you're a lame. If you can't talk to girls, you're a lame. If you're poor and can't afford a car and nice clothes, you're a lame and no decent looking girl would talk to you. If you're not doing illegal drugs and drinking, you're a lame.

I've never hung with white people. There were never any my age in the neighborhood, most were old and around my grandma's age. The only white kids I saw in school were in honor classes. Since I was a sped there was no use talking to them, as we had nothing to relate to. Hell, they might have started making fun of me

Of course me being ugly, slow, stupid, and a good for nothing bum just gave people more ammunition to make fun, disrespect, and in general, treat me like s**t.

I couldn't even get so much a phone number from a girl. It seemed like every attempt to meet a girl turned out horrifically. It's like they'd go out of their way just to be mean, talk down, humiliate and/or embarrass me. All I want is a simple yes/no, not for you to be laughing in my face with your friend(s) for 2+ minutes.

Males were much worse. They realized how slow, stupid, clueless, and naive I was, and figured they could take advantage of me. They bullied me, repeatedly hit me for amusement, talk down to me, and made fun of me and my relatives. And that's WHEN we hung out. When my SSI money was gone for that certain month, or when my game(s) were stolen, (probably by someone I hung out with) they were nowhere to be seen. I've been lied to, taken advantage of, and betrayed by a good amount of people in my life, that it's very hard to trust anyone that isn't part of my immediate family nowadays.

Yeah I can't say it's easy being black with aspergers, but I still might have been treated the same if I was born a different color.

Sort out your facial expression and perhaps get a little fitter if that's important to you and get out there. If you have a BBC, there are a lot of women that want to play with you.

Yeah, I'd say being black and having Aspergers is the issue then. If you can, clean yourself up, comb your hair, all that fun stuff, and just try to associate with white folks the best you can. They'll remark "wow, look, you're so articulate!" and other patronizing stuff like that sometimes, but yeah, you might find things a lot better. I've known black people, maybe not Aspergers (but I've met briefly a guy at my anime club I used to go to who looked like he could have it) but, different, like you described yourself as, they do much better with white folks and white folk hobbies like you have. Just a thought, but yeah, "black culture" nowadays unfortunately completely sucks. In some ways, you can think of your Aspergers as a blessing, as you were unable to adapt to that ridiculous culture.

But nah, besides what I pointed out, there's nothing really inherently ugly in the way you look. You seem to look like a pretty average black person. Just, hygiene and all that.

But yeah, being black, it must be like wrong planet times a billion for you. Sucks, man. I really think if you got out of that destructive culture you're in, you'd do exponentially better at everything. Just, criticizing black culture the way it is now, automatically makes you a racist these days, so people complain when Bill Cosby points out the obvious, stuff like that. I don't think you're bummy, you obviously can communicate with proper English and all that much better than your peers, just, wrong planet times a billion. I mean, being white is...being white, so I can only speak about being white, but having lived among black people and all that, yeah.

I don't know, just a thought. If you were able to break into the "white world" I really think you'd do well, assuming you like, groomed and stuff.

Oh, one hypothesis of mine, too, as a white person, because I obviously see less black people all the time, it's harder to know what "normal" black people are like, if that makes sense? So, alot of the Aspergers idiosyncrasies and oddities might just be written off as you being black, not as having Aspergers. Could work both ways, too, just saying. Same thing with foreigners, I don't know, say, too many Polish people, so I don't know what "normal" Polish facial expressions, demeanor, all that, are like, so I don't have that to judge a person.

You'd be surprised.

Read up on this if you can, but a lot of people with Aspergers that move to a foreign country tend to do very well there, as people will attribute their oddness to just being foreign. In a lot of ways, it's like a cure. Like, it's pretty stereotypical, but lots of guys too "weird" to get an American wife end up finding a nice wife in Asia. Of course, American women say they're weak and lame men, but...those women are haters. "Look at him, he just wants a wife that'll cook and clean for him." Damn straight.

As far as being slow and stupid, I'd have to say no. For me, it's slightly different and slightly the same of the situation. My NVLD makes my verbal IQ like 130+, genius level, but my nonverbal IQ is like 80. So, I can't do math very well, basically my math I do terrible in anything beyond prealgebra, as I can't understand multi-axis equations and stuff very well. I just didn't "get it" very well compared to the other kids. On another point, I'm so smart every messageboard post I post might as well be a college essay. I find memorizing facts, all that stuff, very easy. But then, I get lost delivering food in Hartford or get disoriented when too much stuff is going on at once. Like I had one job, I'm like the whitest person ever, working among a bunch of Puerto Ricans in Hartford, CT. Delivering food, doing general restaurant work. I had the intellect to be like, a completely great cook there, but I couldn't handle the multitasking and intuitive sorta thinking required for a job like that. So really, it's not so much "disabled" in like, the sense of having, like, say, down syndrome, it's just "differently abled" as in, it's a complete imbalance of things. You're good at the things other people are bad at, and bad at things others are good at. At least that's the way it is for me. Unfortunately, black culture as a whole doesn't seem to care about "verbal" intelligence, and much prefers the intuitive whatever kind I don't seem to possess much of, and it seems you're lacking in, too.

But yeah, my point is, you're not dumb or slow, even if you suck at math (I did) you seem damned smart, at least from your posts on this message board. Really, the people around you, if they use the internet, probably talk, well, dumb. I think the secret for autistic/Aspergers/whatever people is, they need to break into something they're good at. The problems they have, seem to stem from trying much too hard at playing a game that's not their game to play. It's like if you're a sprinter, and you're trying to run a marathon. Or a marathon runner trying to be a sprinter. Or a figure skater trying to play hockey. Stuff like that. You gotta figure out stuff you're good at, and go into them the best you can. Probably in your neighborhood, etc, you probably didn't have the resources to make and pursue the "special interests" most people with Aspergers have. However, now, you're old, and as you get older, you get more set in your ways and all that fun stuff. But, try to find things you like, and see what you can make of them. For me, to pursue some of my special interests and whatever, it takes sacrifices and ostricizing from my family and my community, but I think I probably am more driven than most people. It seems that way anyway. Obviously, liking anime, for example, not gonna lead to you opening, say, an anime store and making a gazillion dollars, but the possibility is there.

I don't know, f**k my NVLD, it makes me know everything but have the inability to do lots of things. Sucks. So my advice is just that, advice only, I obviously am not you, don't know your circumstances. But, I would say you need some sort of dose of optimism to get you going. But then again, it's hard being optimistic when you live where you live. Hell, I'm white, and feel significantly less optimistic now living in a significantly more "hood" area than I used to. It's not like, super hood, but the neighborhood isn't a pinnacle of civilization's greatness either. I used to live in more, the super hood (shooting in the house next door a day after we moved out) and that was...something, too. That was a bit different, more Puerto Rican dominated, whereas this neighborhood is more black.

Yeah I don't know, dude. Try to, you know, keep your head up and all that stuff. And no, you're not stupid or ugly.

double post

No I don't think you're ugly at all. All you have to do is gain some confidence and you'll be alright. Women love confidence.

Also looks are not the most important thing in life because they fade with time. Also you can be the best looking person on earth but still not have anyone who wants to be you because you are not a good person.

At least you are healthy and strong and can work and make money. Not everyone has this ability.

Damn, I thought George Clooney was 6.5/7

When I was in school (or hell as I remember it) I used to call myself names all the time - loser, stupid, etc. I think it was a form of self abuse. From your posts it seems like you might be doing this too. I stopped myself from thinking this way, but it took a long time; once you start it's like a habit. I'm only speaking from my own experience, but it helped to replace every negative thought about myself with a positive one, or to think about something good that I did.