Dark_Lord_2008 wrote:
Divorce rates and suicide rates of the modern age have risen as extreme individualism has left lots of people with Aspergers and other conditions: lonely, isolated and rejected by society. Aspergers is an extreme form of social isolation, rejection from society and extreme social anxiety. A person with Aspergers who has no friends, no social networks and an outcast is far more likely to end his or her life.
The parents used to arrange the marriages of their children. Now instead of parents: friends and social networks set people up on dates or marriages. People with Aspergers have very few or in some cases like me no friends at all.
My apologies for not reading the entire thread…
I think arranged marriages have their advantages. I've never been one of those "marry for love" types. Yes, I love my wife and loved her before I married her. But love by itself doesn't drive our relationship. Not "emotional" love. Real love is something you put into action. I don't always "feel" affection for my wife, my children, or anyone else. But I do feel a strong drive to treat human beings a certain way.
Looking back on my long-gone dating life, I recognize my mom had a way of looking at girls I was involved with and "just knowing" how things were going to turn out. I never could figure out how she knew, but she always did. It was insane. In a way, my mom really did pick my wife out for me, and I'm pleased how things have worked out! In retrospect, I'm starting to understand what was going on. Some things you just can't know aside from experience. My mom had a way of seeing the future in a way I was unable to at the time. So when I think about the prospect of my own children growing up, dating, getting married, having children of their own, I hope and pray somehow I can prevent them from making a lot of the stupid decisions I made back in the day. Parents have more power than they want to believe they do, and we CAN exercise a considerable amount of control over their lives if we choose to.
Something else nobody really thinks or cares about anymore is that marriages have consequences. When two people get married, they tend to only think about the two of them coming together in a union. They ignore the fact that they actually represent the joining together of two FAMILIES. Neither party really respects the wishes of the other family or what THEY want for their son or daughter. Neither party really respects the feelings of the other family in their willingness to associate with people other than their own. Making those decisions without consideration for what the other family wants is pure selfishness.
So I suppose if we can't have arranged marriages, the least we can do is get serious about seeking the approval of our own families and the families we're marrying into.