Why not just date the same sex?

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Not everyone believes in soulmates.

Its not even about sex, with me, actually. I want someone who is not the same as me. OK, this is hard to put to words..
A person who completes me, but who is different. I need a female's empathy & effection. Nothing males do DOES that. Though Girly girls still bug me a bit. I like Tomboys because they tend to be more adventurous & open. Girly guys frankly, freak me out. And no offense to Cross dressers but that can almost panic me. I think that is my ASD talking. I don't like false appearences.

Sincerely,
Matt

That's the problem, y'see ... the term "Soul Mate" means different things to different people. Some say it means the One Person Chosen By God For You, while other people claim that it means the one person you get along with without any hassles whatsoever. Still others say that a "Soul Mate" is a person whose soul is so compatible with yours that the two of you form a complet whole when together.

To me, the term "Soul Mate" is just one more romantic fantasy buzz-phrase.

I have not dated women as Ive not met any lesbians with enough in common with me except Wendy Lawson and she has a partner lol

I would be very open to a relationship with a woman, despite not being attracted to her, as I think its not that important and Ive had several relationships with men that I was not attracted to and it was not better or worse than the relationships which had a lot of attraction.

I think sharing similar goals and values is more important for compatibility than sexual attraction.

But I think, despite it opening up the potential numbers, it would not make a difference for me as my personality is one which is not suited to relationships and is one women would equally find too difficult (just as men do).

The Raven,

I think that is more common in females. Something about being (bilogically) the default sex, means their gender attraction is usually more fluid than a males.
This is from some stuff I read. It seems true, but may be an oversimplification.
And I didn't mean any offense to gays or crossdressers. I just react badly to surprises, & I've met a few female impersonator's that could get Academy awards! LOL.

Sincerely,
Matt

I agree with you to an extent, OP. I don't see why people have to be sexually atttacted to each other to form romantic relationships. I've only found six males attractive, and I haven't tried to date any of them (nor will I ever try to date any of them), but that doesn't mean I haven't had crushes on males. (With a male body suddenly a lot more males become attractive to me.) I also dated and even had sex with my ex for about three years before he tried to kill me, and he was pretty ugly! I understand that sexuality isn't a choice, but I don't understand why sexuality has anything to do with forming long term romantic relationships.

And for all you people who said that males don't give empathy and affection, you're DEAD wrong. I think that the problem is a lot of the males who don't are hiding it. I believe this because I am in daily contact with a lot of males who are extremely affectionate and empathetic. What's more, they're mostly gay and bisexual--the exact sort of males you would be dating if you followed the OP's approach!

My problem with the OP's suggestion is that sex is not always the same as gender. My body is female with higher than normal testosterone, but I'm pretty sure my gender usually leans torwards male. I have very little in common with most females. Your suggestion is faulty for people like me. I would prefer dating whoever I feel like, whether male or female.

Another problem is that I don't see how being soulmates correlates with having similar interests--maybe values, but not interests.

Sometimes I wish I were bisexual. Then I could go after both men and women on the autism spectrum. Instead I only have women to work with, and since autistic men outnumber autistic women 3 to 1, that means a two-in-three chance of having to settle for someone more neurotypical - and learn some NT ways however unfair I might find them.

Oh well, at least the odds in autism aren't quite as horrible as they are in the computer science major. That's more like 15 to 1!! The woman I end up marrying will almost certainly be in a different discipline. My first girlfriend, in fact, was.

if dating the same sex would make it all easier

then i would hav just gotn a sex change years ago, after all i would be technically dating the same sex