Casual Sex, Yes Or No?

Post Reply New Topic

Morally I don't have any problem with casual sex. It's just not for me. Right now I think it's something too intimate to do with someone you don't really care about, although who knows what will I be thinking later in my life.

Maybe after a few beers and if I feel comfortable around that person. Otherwise things get awkward.

My male logic says, hell yeah!! ! but in reality I've never been able to do it. Sex is the only way I've found to connect on an emotional level, it's when the mask comes off and I can experience emotions that are too complicated to express during normal interpersonal relations. As such, I've never been able to casually do something that has developed into a romantic ritual. I've tried to explain this to my girlfriends over the years however they think I'm just a typical sex-obsessed male.

Speaking as an introverted guy, getting out in the first place is draining. I can do well in small groups, keeping track of up to three other people talking at the same time, but when out and about in a loud bar/club where there could be many small conversation trains running at the same time, it gets overwhelming, especially when there are numerous distractors.

I don't thrive in these types of environments, and the ones I do thrive in (classes/personal study/even the occasional house party) don't lend themselves as well to casual hookups, because sooner or later everyone knows everyone. Even if I did, I've had one casual hookup and just felt...odd about it after. I didn't feel some sense of masculine pride at getting laid just to get laid, as much as I felt a case of "oh...ehh...I don't think I'm attracted to her long-term. Let's be friendly for now?"

On the other hand, I *am* a guy. So there's always that urge that says "more partners", even if only because different women like different things, and I want more experience. Honestly, I think there's a "middle" ground between pure FWB situations, or exclusive relationships.

no because it's gross and disgusting and scary.

even tho i'd love to have sex every 5 minutes, i'd rather keep masturbating and die virgin than sharing my bodily fluid with someone i don't love/respect lol

Nope.

Hell no. I'd rather die.

When I was younger, I had lots of casual sex; it didn't mean that much--and I knew it. I didn't have a good feeling afterwards.

Nowadays, I almost definitely wouldn't engage in casual sex should the opportunity come to me.

I don't usually like to talk about my psychic experiences here, but I'd like to share one that taught me just how powerful it is to have a sexual connection with someone. I had a long-distance relationship for many years with a man who lives overseas. We never met in person but let's just say, we still saw each other naked and knew each other very intimately. We had some very intense telepathic experiences and in some ways I felt closer to him than I ever have to anyone I've been with in person.

At one point, very unexpectedly, I began falling for a guy I worked with. I told my long-distance SO about it immediately because I did not want to go behind his back. He was understandably very upset and angry. I put a stop to this other relationship very quickly, and it was never consummated, but the damage was already done.

Not long after that, one evening I was overcome with a sick, panicky dread. I didn't know what was wrong, but I felt very physically uncomfortable, almost ill, and very, I mean extremely emotionally distraught, and couldn't even make sense out of why I felt that way. I tried to call my SO and spoke with a family member who told me he was not at home.

The next day or so he confessed to me he had wanted to even the score, and had sex with a woman he barely knew and didn't care about. He had heard about my phone call and how distraught I was, and he was very sorry about it. He had figured out that although I didn't know what he was up to, I had picked up on it physically and it had affected me very negatively. He didn't enjoy it either, he said it felt empty and was not pleasant at all. We compared notes on how we both felt, and oddly enough we had felt very similar physical discomfort about it.

Human bodies communicate all the time without even touching, through pheromones and brainwaves and the pulse of our heartbeats. I believe there is a level of physical connection that transcends space and time - it is physical, or metaphysical, on a level beyond what our current level of science really understands yet. I believe that the choices we make about our sexuality - even in what seems like the most private of circumstances - can inform the world around us in ways we are unaware of, and may attract or repel potential mates.

Sometimes people have casual sex while they are waiting for or looking for a more serious relationship. But I think doing so has a strong potential to push away partners who would be interested in something deeper. Sometimes people do that because they are scared of having a deeper relationship.

Personally I would never want to be with someone who was into casual sex, unless it was in the long distant and buried past. It is a real turn off and it doesn't bode well for a monogamous relationship. And it's just gross.

Most people want to be in a relationship but not everyone is, or is in one all the time. The second concern that arises is, why and how do relationships end? Do people enter into relationships thinking "how long will this last, how will it end, and what will I do then?". In an ideal world, everyone would enter into a life-long relationship soon after reaching sexual maturity with no regrets ever.

In point of fact, many people who would prefer to be in a relationship are not, but they still have a desire if not an actual need for physical i.e. sexual intimacy with another human being to whom they feel attracted. The only way to satisfy that, short of a bona fide relationship, is casual sex.

I would not criticize anyone for having casual sex, but a genuinely casual sexual encounter can be difficult to achieve. It would be better for all concerned if there was some sort of social convention for unattached people to arrange casual sexual encounters, either one-time or on a regular basis (as in FWB situations) while limiting the risk of getting hurt.

I have only experienced a couple of genuinely casual sexual encounters and these are actually some of my fondest memories. For me, having good casual sex is an enjoyable counterpoint to being a a good relationship (although not concurrently). But in reality, what usually happens is that one person feels less casual about the situation than the other, and things go bad. When I was 23, a girl propositioned me for what I understood later was to be a purely casual hook-up because she had recently broken up with her boyfriend, I was hitting on her, and she probably thought I was someone she could easily dump. In fact, I found out later that she didn't even like me at the time, but later on she became obsessed with me and fearful of losing me. Knowing what I know now, I could probably have taken better advantage of the situation while avoiding hurting her as well, but such things usually happen when we are too young and unsophisticated to not be overwhelmed by the situation.

So, casual sex - yes, at least in principle.

I don't believe in extremes.

I can't do a hookup with just someone I met and have little in common with. At the same time, I wouldn't put my sex life on pause just because someone isn't my perfect soul mate.

For me, intimacy is 10% about the sex/orgasm itself and 90% about the emotional bond, cuddling and playing.

Sex has absolutely no bonding function for me. I could still do it for the physical pleasure, but then I would need to switch sex partner very frequently as it's only interesting to do a few times with the same girl and after that it becomes boring. Because of this, I decided that I really don't need sex so I identify as asexual instead.

Not only that but getting a crush on somebody seems to make the girl 100% uninteresting for sexual activities.

Yes.. many, many, many times over.. yes.

_________________
No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Just recently showed up on the net: