Are more women than not willing to date Gastons

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He isn't interested at this point in his life in anyone who isn't interested in doing what he wants to, so that makes it difficult. He is still friendly with Mr. Popular, and welcome in their circle, but my son finds their conversation to be uninteresting and boring; he doesn't want to hang out with them and hasn't for a few years. One on one he still likes the guy, and they sometimes spend time together, but it is hard to compete with a thousand friends when you don't want to be around any of those other thousand friends. The days where all the boys share the bond of Legos and Playmobile are gone.

He gets along fine with girls but very specifically does not want to date or have a girlfriend; he believes hormones make kids his age do stupid things so he'd rather suppress all that, skip it until everyone has matured enough to do the relationship thing in a way that makes sense to him. There is a girl who had a crush on him for years but gave up when she never got a response from him. It was so obvious to everyone but him; funny, really.

So his closest friends are awkward, like him, and because they can lack in social grace they are also a lot better at hurting his feelings than Mr. Popularity ever was. But this is his choice.

He did have a part in the school play this past spring and so is now part of the drama crowd, and he really enjoys that.

I'm sure Socrates got plenty, he just got it from little kids instead of women, just like the rest of the so called great thinkers in ancient Greece did.

My thinking was either someone's successful at it and draw people in, or they fail and the tendency to impose shirks away and that person just has to make do with trying to fit in with others. The ones who succeed are in a position of power and what follows...

The Socrates example is interesting because he was obviously a virtuous man, but known for undermining social norms and assumptions. He also did not impose his views.

well, hitler tried to impose his ideas on the world, and hooked up with a relative..so... i hope the idea that being highly opinionated and idealistic with disregard to other views isn't an attractive feature.

Your son is going to end up like me, friendless and zero-relationship experience at later age.

Try to make him to get out of his shell, i dunno how, try some harmless tricks, anything. this Mr. Popular can be a key to a larger circle....but you'be doing this for his own good.

I wish my parents were that consciously aware of my social conditions, but they never ever cared about this part of my life (very helicopter parents, the more i stayed at home the better for them)

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 30 Apr 2012, 1:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

Same. Very good advice.

most people do not ever impose their opinions on others and yet ultimately have some basic success in dating.

i think people are hung up on trying to categorise what makes a person successful in dating, and it is as varied as each individual person

Well, we just differ here I'm afraid. To me it seems obvious that some characteristics are more attractive than others. If reality was as you're saying there, there would be no such thing as an ideal lover.

I mean ideal in the sense of so many people sharing the same kind of ideal. Not that people couldn't fantasise. Soz it's late here.

People seem to want to be with him, but he doesn't really want to be with them. I've felt like it should be his choice. Adults adore him; he is talented and creative, although sometimes his thoughts really make you scratch your head. He is so comfortable in his own skin ... I don't want him to lose that.

Middle school was rough, but it always is, isn't it? In elementary he literally had groupies among younger kids because of his game inventing interest. High school is somewhere in the middle; he has a set crowd he lunches with, and they are all good kids, and all quirky.

I do think drama forces him out of his shell. I am glad he went out for the play, had a good experience, and plans to stay with it. He also has Boy Scouts, and the scout honor society. He's on his own gotten his first job for this summer (just three weeks, I like that, will leave him some time for writing, programming, and game inventing).

But getting close to people ... that is hard for him. And me, actually. I've tons of acquaintances but not many people I can invite to a special occasion. I think he's like me in that way. But I could be reading it wrong ... I'll think about it. I obviously want to do right by him, but what that is is not always written in neon letters

people mostly like different things. there isn't even any agreement on idols in popular culture. if you look at Catherine Zeta-Jones vs Paris Hilton, for example... or Ryan Gosling vs Russell Brand, you can see they differ in looks and personality yet each is quite popular.

This has probably been posted before, I read the OP and wanted to make a post from my own experiences:

Woman don't really want to date a guy who treats them like garbage but woman do want to date a guy that is confident and sure of himself. The problem is that a woman would rather date a guy who is confident in himself that also goes too far in his mistreatment of her than if she could date someone who was the nice guy but lacked confidence. the nice guy can be just as manipulative and wants to be rewarded for his kindness.

Do you think woman really like being treated horribly? Try an experiment: just go and be disrespectful and cruel to a girl you like or females in general, keep being yourself otherwise. They'll still think your pathetic but now will have legit reasons to hate you. I've talked to and seen lots of bitter, sexually frustrated guys that disrespect women but still don't get any.


It does suck a lot though, if a girl is confident it can be cute but if a girl is meek and unsure of herself its also cute. If a girl has aspergers, guys will usually flock and pine for her but if you're a dude with AS? Ha, forget it unless you can overcome your own lack of confidence. I'm sure its possible to have AS and be confident, my dad was.

Or

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZB0AqpAuR7U[/youtube]

Quality how could the ladies turn down Brent's angelic charm.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbPeKp142TQ[/youtube]

I dunno, ZX, there's probably a lot of people that would like to be in the dark, being fiddled with