Dumped after 4 (great) dates, why?

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blunnet
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19 May 2012, 12:13 am

ZX_SpectrumDisorder wrote:

I am a pervert.

We all are.

HK416N
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19 May 2012, 12:25 am

mb she looked up autism what it means and turned her off.. mb she wants experienced lover.. mb she met white knight day b4 last date.. mb she discovered shes gay.. mb she got cold feet fear thing and rlly liked ye but ran off cause of own probs.. mb u said sumthing wrong...
can be so many things that make this happen.. stop worries and take breath.. ur okay.. u will never find out what is cause of this

HK416N
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19 May 2012, 12:27 am

lol blunnet

blunnet
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19 May 2012, 12:35 am

JanuaryMan wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

Dantac wrote:

another possibility is it took her four dates to assess your income/resources and moved on to fatter pickings.

It happens.

that is really unlikely, seeing as how most women are not golddiggers.

A negative generalization, fought with a positive generalization that merely defend the mindset each person that gave it have. Hilarious! :lol:

some are gold diggers some are not. It could happen, it could also not happen. I swear, people are so quick to put down other genders and defend their own just as quickly in this forum.

Yep, it is quite ironic, and people don't always react logically even when some of them claim they are, and that is also amusing, to not say meaningless. (Read carefully the words *always* and *some* in the context, before shouting that I am making a generalization )

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

Dantac wrote:

another possibility is it took her four dates to assess your income/resources and moved on to fatter pickings.

It happens.

non-anecdotal proof or it didn't happen
I swear this junk comes out of left field every time here no matter what the specific topic is. Like wait wait, we haven't made an unfounded and unflattering statement about the behavior / romantic motivations of women and presented it as fact yet...thread not complete.

well, the post you quoted contains the words *possibility* and ....... *It happens* So, its not technically presented as fact, it may be an unlikely scenario though, but still possible as we can never know for certain about anything related to her.

hyperlexian
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19 May 2012, 12:40 am

blunnet wrote:

JanuaryMan wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

Dantac wrote:

another possibility is it took her four dates to assess your income/resources and moved on to fatter pickings.

It happens.

that is really unlikely, seeing as how most women are not golddiggers.

A negative generalization, fought with a positive generalization that merely defend the mindset each person that gave it have. Hilarious! :lol:

some are gold diggers some are not. It could happen, it could also not happen. I swear, people are so quick to put down other genders and defend their own just as quickly in this forum.

how is my response illogical? also, please note how i used the word *most*, just like you said *always* and *some*. i am not quite sure why people think i am making a generalisation as clearly.... i am not. just like YOU were not.

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blunnet
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19 May 2012, 12:41 am

Thinking about it, would she be thinking about marriage and family? I mean, it would not be surprising that, if that was the case, a woman finding that out would want to end a relationship or avoid a potential relationship because she wouldn't want to have autistic children, and frankly, I wouldn't blame her.

ValentineWiggin
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19 May 2012, 12:58 am

blunnet wrote:

ZX_SpectrumDisorder wrote:

I am a pervert.

We all are.

Speak for yourself. :wink:

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blunnet
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19 May 2012, 12:59 am

I speak for all of us.

ValentineWiggin
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19 May 2012, 1:49 am

blunnet wrote:

I speak for all of us.

Sure you do, champ. Sure you do.

IlovemyAspie
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19 May 2012, 2:04 am

My guy (has AS) doesn't have any kids but I do. However if he wanted a child I wouldn't hesitate. Possibility of Autism and all.

ZX_SpectrumDisorder
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19 May 2012, 4:17 am

Thanks for that.

Page turn damnit.

SoulPower
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20 May 2012, 3:07 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:

SoulPower wrote:

She would not have changed her mind based on his diagnosis because she was already experiencing him as he is. The diagnosis is just a label. People can change their minds about others, but if they're closed minded enough to reject someone for being Autistic, you're definitely better off without them in the long run.

I dunno...I've ended things with people because I thought the amalgamation of our NT/AS differences was too great for a relationship to work.

Does that make me "closed-minded"?

The diagnosis isn't "just a label"- it represents a number of differences, some of them quite incredible, from a statistical norm.

I'm seeing someone now who, while fantastically-open minded and validating, has said that he's having to "critically-examine everything he thought to be universally-true about human thinking and desires".

Maybe she researched Autism too much and decided that he must have a bunch of traits which didn't work for her. That would be wrong.

Well maybe if you have a predisposition to feel unsure of a relationship with an aspie, that could be an influence on your decisions, but most people who have already met you are going to already have an impression of you. What I'm saying is that whether he did or didn't disclose his diagnosis, the girl would have already experienced him for who he is and the Autism part is probably insignificant compared to her whole impression of him. She already liked him enough to want to date him, but he did something wrong on that fourth date to blow it. It could have been revealing his diagnosis, but it could have been something else. I like to support the belief that everything about you is perfectly fine, and if someone else doesn't see you the same way, you're probably better off without them.

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20 May 2012, 4:17 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:

blunnet wrote:

I speak for all of us.

Sure you do, champ. Sure you do.

Revealing the diagnosis might have been the problem. Or the lack of a sexual spark that someone mentioned, that's a big issue with me, and it may be for other aspie men,

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IlovemyAspie
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20 May 2012, 6:47 pm

Look folks, we all would love to believe that people will see us for who we are and not what we have but that's not being realistic. Why do you think there are threads on here about when and how to disclose the fact that you have AS? If that wasn't an issue then no one would worry about telling people. Like I said before my guy will NOT tell anyone he has AS because of his negative experiences with doing so. And this even after people have gotten to know him
Only a few of his friends have been willing to embrace his AS and move on.

hyperlexian
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20 May 2012, 11:55 pm

IlovemyAspie wrote:

Only a few of his friends have been willing to embrace his AS and move on.

in my opinion, those were the only friends worth having.

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IlovemyAspie
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21 May 2012, 12:15 am

hyperlexian wrote:

IlovemyAspie wrote:

Only a few of his friends have been willing to embrace his AS and move on.

in my opinion, those were the only friends worth having.

He and I both agree with that. Sadly however, those other losers have forever left a negative impression on him. He's just not willing to take the chance that the people here are going to be any different than the majority. I asked him what he thought my reaction was going to be when he told me about it. He hasn't answered me yet. Time to revisit that one.....

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