Dating an aspie - when to kiss him?

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I can understand that one.
Loud night club, bring some ear plugs

There are probably all kinds of things going internally, there is really no way to know the details. I know I had hang up about the physical things, I did like kissing. He could be a virgin you know.
The night club thing, spitting on that chick who was treating him like crap. It would not be shocking if he had more that a just few such experiences were women treated him like crap. It would be a good thing to avoid situations that can lead to mental overload. I can't comment on how to weigh out the character stuff, I have no clue. You have to decide what you and your belly button wants. Then you can decide if you want to push the nuclear weapons button.

You have been at this for a couple months, something is hanging up with the physical.
Let just cut to the chase, you need to get him alone and it needs to involve a happy ending.
You could work your way into an astro glide hand job. You could get some good intense kissing in that experience. You've got to somehow push it past this sticking point or it will likely stay as it is. This is just my opinion.

Thanks Doodledoo : ) Some good honest advice. However, I think he's gone away somewhere as he's not home or answering his calls. I hope he's alright and no harm has come to him. Yes, it'll have to be a one-on-one conversation with some kind of happy ending or it's over!

Hi, so for anyone who hasn't lost interest we met up finally yesterday and talked. He said he has trouble dealing with emotion and tears and felt like hiding when I got upset about what happened but he understood this wasn't the best way of dealing with the situation! And I told him I realised that I unwittingly made a mistake by turning up in the morning when he was still in bed and needing to go to work. He said his outburst was a bit of a meltdown but he would never go beyond the verbal and he was really just trying to make me understand how th epressure was mounting in his head the more I talked and touched him. Apparently he does like being loved and touched (or there wouldn't be much hope!!) but things were moving a bit fast for him as he is still seeing my ex-boyfriend around the place a lot and is quite shy in general - he says all his last relationships ended because when there was a fight he'd hide in his bubble and avoid the emotion but admitted he needs to open up more. I said II'd try and be more patient but I need him to not get verbally aggressive. As for the other incident, he said it was the same thing that pressure was mounting as he was being assaulted and since he felt like he couldnt' get away and couldn't touch her he just sort of instinctively spat because it felt like the only thing he could do. So it's not your typical romance but we did say we loved each other in a romantic location and we're meeting up again soon! It doesn't sound at all romantic but I'm as happy as Larry as we say here!

Wonderful, Berrygirl. I hope it all works out well, now that you are getting some communication! Good stuff. I'm an Aspie married to an Aspie, and it can get tough, we are, believe-it-or-not, so different and yet both so Aspie-ish. Tricky sometimes. Best wishes.

Hey,so there was a happy ending to this story after all, he took the initiative and when I was least expecting it planted a big one! And he turned out to be a great kisser for the record!

The only thing to do is ask if it's okay to kiss him. It's probably just as easy as announcing your intentions a minute before. Don't play games with him he won't get it.

He doens't seem to mind me kissing him at all now and it's wonderful! But certainly, in the beginning he didn't like me playing games or trying it on with him.

Hi, some time has passed during which I've learnt a lot and I wanted to add a postscript for anyone looking for advice here on this issue.
In relation to my fears that this man might be of a violent disposition, they remain unfounded. He is possibly one of the gentlest people I know. The couple of 'freak-outs' he had...well, without excusing such behaviour I can understand how it happened. The spitting incident - he was being assaulted, though by a woman who just thought it was funny. The snapping at me - frustration over the fact I was trying to kiss him without being prompted.Since then I've never witnessed another episode like that.
It turned out he had a lot less experience than I believed. I think I myself was the one on the wrong planet and I had been putting a lot of pressure on him.
NOW, more importantly, we are getting on extremely well. I have no problems with him whatsoever. And for the record, after some weeks of practice, he is great in every possible way when it comes to kissing...and pretty much everything else.

And I just want to add that I wouldn't even call him an aspie now. Now that I know him intimately I've stopped labelling him that way or thinking of him as 'different'.

I myself have had issues with anger when my routine is disrupted and I know myself fairly well. I don't think he's abusive, I think that he just doesn't understand what he was doing in some ways with how he made you feel. If he's anything like me when that happens then I feel HORRIBLE afterwards. I think you should talk to him and apologize for messing with his routine and let him know how him yelling made you feel. Be careful on that one though with your tone and how long you discuss how it hurt you. The wrong tone could make him really defensive and it could drive him farther from you. And as for the length just make it short and to the point so he doesn't feel any worse than he already probably does. And next time just schedule something with him and talk to him about how it would mean a lot to you if you could kiss him. He'll probably understand and want it too. The reason he probably says it's too soon is because that's the social rules he's learned over the years around NT's. Good luck and I hope all goes well for you guys.

Thanks, we actually sorted it out some weeks back and we haven't had any problems since. I've learned to allow him to follow his ow routie in the daytime and he ahs no problem with me being around as he's gotten over any physical hang-ups! So we've adaped to each other. I think he felt trapped before and I overreacted, and as for that other incident he didn't know what to do when he felt trapped ad that's why he reacted that 'crazy' way.