Open Marriage

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I don't think it will work. I do know people in open relationships, but they are both usually equal in flirting ability.

It sounds like you may have trouble picking up girls, which would lead to resentment as she gets guys.

That, I can agree with. Everyone needs to be on board and not feel forced to accept a way that goes against their nature. Open and poly relationships are not easy, and they aren't for everyone.

No, you didn't say it's all a poly relationship should be. But it's what distinguishes a poly relationship from types of arrangements that most people are perfectly content to live with. Take out the bed-sharing and the multi-marriage-ish aspect, leave the emotional connection and support, and you have what the rest of the world calls deep friendships.

I have lots of these with old college friends, married ex-boyfriends, longtime online penpals. We talk about nearly everything under the sun, love and care for each other deeply, have done for decades. Does this make me poly, no. It makes me a good friend and an important person in their lives. Their wives are fine with it, because they know perfectly well that their guys aren't going to run off to bed with me or decide it's time to come live with me for a while, or try to persuade them to move me into their households, participate in raising their children, etc.

Pretending that doesn't make the difference is simply disingenuous, although I suspect that many people talking a poly line do not actually have experience with parenthood, let alone married parenthood, and are just theorizing.

*and being in love

Spin it however you want, you are either having emotional affairs with these women or you do not understand polyamory.

Your wife has dishonored her vows, she has betrayed a sacred union that is marriage before God, you need to divorce her and meet a decent woman.

Tarantella, I don't think you fully comprehend what Tea is saying exactly.

Poly in word use, like much else, is taken completely different ways by different people. Few actually understand the term.

There are some people who simply have open relationships. Others do different things entirely. Some people have multiple relationships with multiple people. It's really not all about the sex either. These relationships are of different levels and depends, and some do include sex. There are many different aspects of relationships, not all of which can be put into words. Some of those are emotionally intimate, romantic, sex, because they have a different type of connection or particularly strong one with that person, personality, character traits, values or ethics, looks, compatibly in bed or out. This can lead to all types and forms of relationships because they can be any combination of them, but there are people who really simply do not get their needs met by having one relationship.

I know many such people who can't get their needs met by having one relationship. Instead they choose to cheat constantly and chronically and lie to their partner all the time. While you may able to, not all people can.

Personally, if someone can't do monogamous relationships, I would rather they be open about it than cheat and lie. It is better to get things on the table and be totally honest about it.

The OP's real problem is that his wife is dictating the terms of the relationship.

Other than that, she just ruined trust (assuming he already had it) and now wants to add this extra dimension to the relationship that requires even more trust. The only way I could conceive that this could have a non-crappy outcome is if they both want the same thing, which they don't (or supposedly don't, maybe the OP might find he likes sleeping around). The least she could do is offer to do some threesomes with other girls with him since he's otherwise not in as strong a position to get laid.

Clusterf**k.

OP, this was some time ago, what came of it?