How do you handle compliments?

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I have wondered if when I compliment someone, are they wondering if I want something from them. I know one thing though, with my AS guy I will be more conscious of the frequency! But I think he knows me well enough to know I have always been truthful with him. But I don't want to make him uncomfortable either.

The problem is some people DO use compliments as empty flattery as a manipulating technique. A simple "thanks" and move on is the best move when you're not sure it's honest.

Well, this post is timely, because over the past weekend I grabbed a lift with the parents of a young lady who keeps her horse with me. It was her first horse show with a young green animal and we were there as a cheer squad. As we were discussing the day I received a double whammy.

1. I was literally referred to as a 'God' by said parents...the daughter is 24 years old so it's not as if it was some kid with stars in her eyes, what the heck had she been saying to them?

If that wasn't bad enough ...

2. The second compliment was really confronting, AS is not something I've ever used as an excuse because it has been a very recent discovery. But I'd always been used to fighting despite my weaknesses because I've had a 60% deficit in one arm since a bad accident as a child. (It was supposed to have been amputated but that's another story)
I have pushed myself all my life to live a good one, I need to be the best I can be at everything I get obsessed about. My obsessions are usually things I need to do to get by so I guess that's a good thing...I don't waste my time with stuff that doesn't get me somewhere.

Anyway, they literally said "We admire you so much, you're the only person we know who actually talks the talk and walks the walk."


How do you react to something like that?

I swear the wind was knocked out of me, I mean I just do what I do to survive, I said as much because it's all I could think of saying, it was really awkward and I'm still reeling over it now. It just feels... confronting, intimidating, I don't know, can't seem to just inwardly accept the compliment that I outwardly shrugged off.

Another thought about the whole scenario came to mind, thanks to 351Boss' post!! For me, being complemented, depending on the case, almost feels as if I'm - dare I say it - being put on a pedestal. In most of the cases where I received lost of (questionable) praise, I was more prone to messing up, causing me to be "dethroned", so to speak. Add that on top of my dealings with negativity, and you've got some pretty ugly social scenarios

1. I was literally referred to as a 'God' by said parents...the daughter is 24 years old so it's not as if it was some kid with stars in her eyes, what the heck had she been saying to them?

If that wasn't bad enough ...

2. The second compliment was really confronting, AS is not something I've ever used as an excuse because it has been a very recent discovery. But I'd always been used to fighting despite my weaknesses because I've had a 60% deficit in one arm since a bad accident as a child. (It was supposed to have been amputated but that's another story)
I have pushed myself all my life to live a good one, I need to be the best I can be at everything I get obsessed about. My obsessions are usually things I need to do to get by so I guess that's a good thing...I don't waste my time with stuff that doesn't get me somewhere.

Anyway, they literally said "We admire you so much, you're the only person we know who actually talks the talk and walks the walk."


How do you react to something like that?

I swear the wind was knocked out of me, I mean I just do what I do to survive, I said as much because it's all I could think of saying, it was really awkward and I'm still reeling over it now. It just feels... confronting, intimidating, I don't know, can't seem to just inwardly accept the compliment that I outwardly shrugged off.

I would prefer people not to compliment me unless they were close enough to me. I don't feel it's very genuine, otherwise. Or at least for those people to be somewhat friends.

I sometimes get paranoid and deny the compliments out of fear that they are really sarcasm.

What about if a person insists that she's attracted to you, and you just can't see why. And if you ask her what exactly it is that attracts her (because let's face it: there are a lot more viable options out there) she can't give you a concrete answer, or she replies with something seemingly completely-unrelated. Anyone ever had one of those? You think this is more of a self-confidence thing, or a general mistrust in people because one is unable to tell their intentions?