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Women, what do you think of men who are quiet and shy?

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yellowtamarin
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14 Aug 2012, 2:53 am

I refer back to my first reply to this topic. I haven't changed anything.

yellowtamarin wrote:
metaldanielle wrote:
I like shy guys, but if he is too shy to even talk (or communicate thru other means) then I won't know he is interested and it won't go anywhere. I find the shyness endearing.

Pretty much same as this. I am rarely attracted to guys who are significantly more outgoing that me (and I'm not outgoing), but would also struggle to be attracted to a very shy person, because I wouldn't be able to "see" them, if you know what I mean.

What a guy is like around me matters. He can be quiet, shy, etc. in social settings, but if he doesn't open up to me it's going nowhere.


I said it's going nowhere, I didn't say that means he's weak. Most people hate approaching the opposite sex, that doesn't mean most people are weak.



The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Aug 2012, 2:58 am

bruinsy33 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hartzofspace wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Sexist double standard fact:

Shyness in girls is seen as virtue, or at least with indifference.

Shyness in guys is often seen as a very negative trait.

I have to disagree. My guy is quiet, soft spoken and a little shy. He still got the courage up to ask me out, and we are now engaged. I admired him all the more for taking the initiative since I saw how hard it was for him.


Which proves more my point!!

He had to do something anti-shy to get anywhere with you! and you admired him because of this non-shy act.

What if you he remained all shy about? would you have asked him out? I doubt it, you would have gone with another guy who had the courage to ask you out.
So what options does that leave for Aspie men? If in general women are not going to ask out a man ,should the Aspie male work on that aspect of his personality,asking out women [as difficult as it may be ] or should the Aspie male focus on that rare percentage of women who have no hesitation in asking a man out?


Your only option is to not be shy.


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Or should the Aspie male focus on that rare percentage of women who have no hesitation in asking a man out?


Usually, you have to be too alpha and irresistible to be asked out by this "Rare % of women".



yellowtamarin
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14 Aug 2012, 3:00 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Your only option is to not be shy.

This is true. Asking someone out is a not-shy thing to do. It is the only way to start a relationship, basically. So if asking someone out (a non-shy act) makes a guy not a shy guy, then yeah, no woman wants a shy guy, because it is impossible to date him (unless she asks first). But there's a logic flaw here.



MXH
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14 Aug 2012, 3:07 am

or you know, actual equality happens and women start taking a more active role.





























Image



Last edited by MXH on 14 Aug 2012, 3:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

BlueMax
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14 Aug 2012, 3:11 am

MXH wrote:
or you know, actual equality happens and women start taking a more active roll.

Mmmmmm... if she were nice, I'd appreciate an "active roll" with her! My role would vary though... depending on whether or not I remain conscious! :P

[/duck and run]
wwwwWOOPwoopwoopwoop!!Image



Last edited by BlueMax on 14 Aug 2012, 3:16 am, edited 2 times in total.

yellowtamarin
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14 Aug 2012, 3:11 am

MXH wrote:
or you know, actual equality happens and women start taking a more active roll.

And a woman who does that is not shy? Or could she still be shy?
I ask guys out, and I'm shy. I also like shy guys who ask me out. It's really not that complicated and has nothing to do with "weak".



MXH
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14 Aug 2012, 3:13 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
MXH wrote:
or you know, actual equality happens and women start taking a more active roll.

And a woman who does that is not shy? Or could she still be shy?
I ask guys out, and I'm shy. I also like shy guys who ask me out. It's really not that complicated and has nothing to do with "weak".

me and boo have yet to use the word weak. Because the premise of this thread is that the girl being asked out likes shy guys. The problem is that a trully shy person will not approach someone. its like people that call themselves nerds simply because they have a playstation, an ipad and an android phone.



yellowtamarin
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14 Aug 2012, 3:13 am

BlueMax wrote:
MXH wrote:
or you know, actual equality happens and women start taking a more active roll.

Mmmmmm... if she were nice, I'd appreciate an "active roll" with her! My role would vary though... depending on whether or not I remain conscious! :P

[/duck and run] wwwwWOOPwoopwoopwoop!!

I like a good active roll.



The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Aug 2012, 3:16 am

BlueMax.... your image link, it messed up the whole page.



MXH
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14 Aug 2012, 3:16 am

you know you have a good argument when all people can do is complain on grammar at 4am.



yellowtamarin
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14 Aug 2012, 3:17 am

MXH wrote:
me and boo have yet to use the word weak.

:huh:



Last edited by yellowtamarin on 14 Aug 2012, 3:20 am, edited 2 times in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Aug 2012, 3:19 am

but I did have used the word 'weak', twice.



MXH
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14 Aug 2012, 3:22 am

ah, you did in edits after i had responded to your messages



The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Aug 2012, 3:24 am

That was my whole point and my first answer here (page 1):

Shy guy is seen as weak by the opposite sex.



yellowtamarin
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14 Aug 2012, 3:25 am

MXH wrote:
ah, you did in edits after i had responded to your messages

And I, in turn, responded to you believing you agreed with Boo on that. Awkward.



MXH
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14 Aug 2012, 3:32 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
MXH wrote:
ah, you did in edits after i had responded to your messages

And I, in turn, responded to you believing you agreed with Boo on that. Awkward.

not really. i still agree on what i read him say originally. That the only way for a shy guy to progress is to not be shy. Because of skewed gender dynamics. And that is assuming that the woman involved is after that shy guy. To any random woman then the whole weakness thing comes into play ontop of the previous scenario. Its a lose lose for the shy guy.