Appearance and Fashion Tips for Asperger's Men

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Not exactly because at the end of the day, the attention and amount of dates I get from women is higher since I have made a concious effort to change my appearance, style and outlook. However you can feel free to keep walking around in a baggy NFL jersey or baggy army combat pants if you think that's going to help you.

Alex the administrator has even mentioned in other threads that the men on the spectrum he has noticed had the best success in love and dating were people that had an awareness of fashion and made themselves presentable.

I disagree, some of my favourite people from America have been people from cities like New York, closely followed by Chicago.



As I said this isn't about conformity or non conformity, it's about realizing that fashion is an indicator of status and expression in the real world. There is universal standard and a cultural standard to fashion and whilst you may not agree, many people find the universal standard to be attractive.

The difference is many of us don't define success as getting dates but as getting dates with people that might actually be interested in us as a person. No point to dating if it isn't going to lead somewhere other than some fancy restaurant paying for someone else's meal and not even getting good conversation in return.

So much name dropping. Why would i care about alex? Only my own opinions matter to me, at best you can contribute to my opinions with sound reasoning, otherwise i'm utterly uninfluenced by the opinions of others. What kind of qualification is being an administrator of a website anyway? Do you have any opinions of your own? What do YOU think looks good? Are you even able to tell the difference between your own opinions and those you took from other people anymore?

And from women? Plural? Why would i care about the general population when my only interest is in one girl ( who i've yet to meet)? I don't care about dating random multiple people, when i find someone that's worth the effort i know that things like clothes simply won't matter, and they won't matter because anyone that would care about things like that are already ruled out and always have been.

As i said, fashions for idiots. Dressing any particular way is for idiots. Clothes are for keeping you warm and nothing more, im not a damn peacock.

What makes you think that it makes dates any more casual or impersonal? Everyone goes off first impressions and they are somewhat visually stimulated despite how deep you may think people are. I even asked a girl I was making out with why she found me attractive and she stated only physical things such as my height, being dark and good looking.

Most dating or relationships start up on an visual level and most initial attraction is based around physical appearance, that's not an opinion or me asking you, that's me telling you how it is in the real world.

Keep telling yourself that but at the end of the day, you have got more chance of meeting a girl if you increase your social network and increase the amount of women you are dating. You aren't going to find out what you really want until you have experienced what you don't want and you aren't going to find your set of preferences until you have had variety.

Wolfheart is right, But I'd just like to add.

Don't mix up names or ring the wrong girl, Eh just don't.

You miss the point entirely if I wanted what you are getting out of it I would do something similar to what you are saying but I find that kind of relationship to be more trouble than it is worth. Many of us feel the same way. If it works for you go for it but don't think it is the only or even best method.

I can see where you're getting at.
For being with woman you have some connection with, and interesting conversations and the like, fashion is still important, especially for the very eary stages. You two may be made for each other, but if you don't start talking then nothing will happen. And looking good puts the odds to your favour when it's time to get to know each other, as it is the very first impression she gets from you.

Good clothing has advantages besides dating, too. I've noticed people treat me differently depending on whether I go casual, semi-formal, or formal. And btw, in certain situations going casual is more advantageous than the other two.

Personally, I find it easy dressing formal because I love the look, but as other people have pointed out that isn't really an absolute. It depends on the situation, I can't see myself wearing a suit all the time, it would be impractical and maybe a bit pretentious. Butthe general idea of taking care of one's image, of one's presentation to the world, still stands.

Dude, are you completely sure that you speak on proper forum??

(But - by the way - it's proof for my theory of "looking for one-night relationship" )


I don't know WHY can't you understand that there's not such thing like one perfect style and one good answer for everything?

(I heard that it's common problem for British dudes - they just KNOW that what they do is great, they are always right and their style is absolutely the best on the world... I heard it from my Scotland friends - and I see that they could be right )


There are hundreds social groups and situations when formal "corporate" look will be just ridiculous.
Let me just list hikers, mountain bikers, biologists, travelers or ecology activists meetings

it's true that you've had a lot of women fall for you, so it works for you in the initial stages. but GreenShadow has had a long-term relationship (which you haven't experienced yet) while dressing more casually. so the clothing may work for gaining something short-term, but perhaps what works best for LTRs is being one's self instead of putting on clothing that goes far outside of one's own comfort zone.


my city is extremely casual because it is a blue collar region. most people who work in finance will still wear "business casual" or the bare minimum business garments, and a full suit is very rare. yesterday, i was downtown in the financial district and i saw a man wearing a shirt, tie, and matching trousers & waistcoat/vest and i was shocked by the formal attire. some salespeople or business people have to wear a tie, but most don't.

so if a man is wearing business casual clothing to go to the bar or club, he will get laughed at.

A few different styles I am trying for people who are interested in duplicating the formal business attire in creative ways.

Formal Bar clothing
Leather Jacket + Shirt Tie + Skinny Tie


The Vegas Gambler look
Grey suit + Sunglasses + Black or white shirt


The Sixties formal look
Leather Jacket + Turtle Neck + Ray Ban Sunglasses


Alternative Formal look
Chequered Blazer + Shirt + Skinny Tie

Last edited by Wolfheart on 17 Aug 2012, 1:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes, but this does not work for me for the reasons I've stated. Your rebuttal? People already think I'm too intense and serious and like "grown up" at 21, wearing all this would exacerbate the problem.

That said, my best advice is clothes that fit. Don't wear loose crap everywhere all the time. It shows a shame in your body on some level.

Nothing wrong with appearing older but that is one of the best points that is applicable and relevant regardless of culture.

Dress in proportion to your body.

Well it's not even appearing older, it's because the way I talk and stuff, that I don't end my sentences in "bro" people immediately think I'm older. This helps dealing with adults, to a point (they're think you're f*****g mystery man or a genius) but with people my own age, it's hard, and they're pretty much like this. So I don't believe dressing like this would solve any of my social problems, of relating to people my own age. Even a counselor in the mental health group I go to was like "You have fantastic social skills, it's these other kids with abysmal social skills." But, that doesn't particularly help me.