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BlueMax
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16 Sep 2012, 9:30 pm

That is one seriously, seriously icky dude..... :eew:



TM
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17 Sep 2012, 4:47 am

knowbody15 wrote:

Well, I'm assuming that this is taking place on a school campus, I could be wrong, but if he were to grab her hand and make her touch him, he's gone. Done......

I'm not totally saying she should do this, but in response to Meems saying she was gonna vomit, I was just trying to say that she has power that she may not realize.


He would have a fairly good argument if she was standing there going "it's small right", "show it to me", "how big is it" etc. Alternatively he could report her for harassment.

Quote:

I didn't read the part about him mentioning rape, and certainly making this dude feel small could provoke a violent reaction, however, in my personal experience, standing up to bullies often invokes enough fear that they'll leave you alone. And calling him out could reveal the weak, imature boy that this dude sounds like. He's a coward right?

If he has mentioned rape, authorities need to be called right? That's unacceptable.


Coward or not, if he's also a reputation defender with violent inclinations a volatile reaction is likely. I've seen nothing to indicate that he's a coward and a recent study I saw kind of crushed the idea that people bully because they are insecure.

In most countries merely mentioning rape isn't enough to call the authorities unless it can be seen as severe enough to be counted as a threat. It's somewhere along the lines of:

If I say "I wish someone would punch that person" I cannot be charged with anything, If I say "I wish I could punch that person" I cannot be charged with anything. If I say "I'm going to punch you right in the face" it's still a grey area. In essence you have to prove intent and ability to do it.



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17 Sep 2012, 1:06 pm

TM wrote:
knowbody15 wrote:

Well, I'm assuming that this is taking place on a school campus, I could be wrong, but if he were to grab her hand and make her touch him, he's gone. Done......

I'm not totally saying she should do this, but in response to Meems saying she was gonna vomit, I was just trying to say that she has power that she may not realize.


He would have a fairly good argument if she was standing there going "it's small right", "show it to me", "how big is it" etc. Alternatively he could report her for harassment.

Quote:

I didn't read the part about him mentioning rape, and certainly making this dude feel small could provoke a violent reaction, however, in my personal experience, standing up to bullies often invokes enough fear that they'll leave you alone. And calling him out could reveal the weak, imature boy that this dude sounds like. He's a coward right?

If he has mentioned rape, authorities need to be called right? That's unacceptable.


Coward or not, if he's also a reputation defender with violent inclinations a volatile reaction is likely. I've seen nothing to indicate that he's a coward and a recent study I saw kind of crushed the idea that people bully because they are insecure.

In most countries merely mentioning rape isn't enough to call the authorities unless it can be seen as severe enough to be counted as a threat. It's somewhere along the lines of:

If I say "I wish someone would punch that person" I cannot be charged with anything, If I say "I wish I could punch that person" I cannot be charged with anything. If I say "I'm going to punch you right in the face" it's still a grey area. In essence you have to prove intent and ability to do it.


This guy is absolutely insecure, he's overcompensating with his behavior.

Do you think this has become about you taking apart what I'm saying? Which is fine, that's kinda something we do. My dad is king at this. No no no, that wont work, that won't work, etc. You're talking about what's wrong with Knowbody15's idea, and I'm talking about this ahole and how to deal with him.

I don't mean any disrespect, read over our comments, it's actually fascinating to see Aspies in action. I was going to respond by trying to defend what I said and try to prove you wrong, but then I realized that we're just getting sidetracked. We have a problem with not enough focus, or too much focus. Do you see that?


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Comp_Geek_573
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17 Sep 2012, 2:15 pm

TM wrote:
Is this just in this specific case, or is lets say someone who tells me "If you buy lunch today, I'll buy you lunch tomorrow" yet never buys lunch guilty of theft?

Also, how do you define game? Would someone who lets say wants sex 4 x a week and dresses to the nines every day before marriage, yet wants sex once a month and dresses only in flannels and sweats after marriage be guilty of fraud?

How do you define "false pretenses"? Where do you draw the line between "normal false pretenses" and "Comp_Geek_537 rape equivalent false pretenses"? For instance, if I'm on a date with someone who goes on and on about their family, and I keep telling them "yeah that's interesting" while I'm quite frankly bored to death, and I later sleep with that person, am I guilty of rape

How about if you are married to someone and you do the dishes and clean the house so you'll get sex, does that mean that your significant other is now prostituting themselves for housework?

I actually tried radical honesty for a while, and it doesn't work all that well because people kind of want you to lie to them about certain things. No woman wants to hear "Yes honey, that does make your ass look fat" and no man wants to hear "Yes darling, it is very small". No person of any gender tends to want to hear the negative things they think about themselves from other people. If you're that much in favor of honesty, practice it in your daily life and suffer the consequences of breaking the social protocol day in and day out.

Hell, set up 10 dates, then on that first date tell the woman or man exactly what you are thinking and feeling every second of the evening and see how well that goes for you.


You do bring up a lot of good moral grey areas. I guess it depends on how direct and serious the "if-then" proposition is. I know not everyone can be 100% honest all the time, me included. I do have to stretch the truth about how attractive people (particularly women) are because most tend to take it far harder than the literal meaning. Also, I'm quite willing to just keep my mouth shut about stuff if I don't know if the person can handle the truth.

I guess it's rape, or morally a significant chunk as bad as rape, when you have a laser-like focus on having sex with a particular person - as the top goal - and are willing to tell lies such as truly being in love with the person, making six figures a year when you have no job at all, being an athlete when you're not, etc. Or else put lots of pressure on the person to drink alcohol or use other drugs to lower his/her inhibitions, or at least take advantage of someone you KNOW is drunk or otherwise drugged. "Lies" that most people want to be told don't count.

Buying lunch today / not returning the favor tomorrow is simply forgetting 99 times out of 100, so I wouldn't call that theft. It's only if you PREMEDITATE saying something like that, with no intent from the beginning to return the favor, that it is any kind of theft. Since it's nearly unprovable which it is, I cannot advocate a law calling it theft. Morally, though, it is theft if you PREMEDITATE not returning the favor.

Lies are bad when they hurt people. Lies to spare people's feelings can be good if they're something the person can't do anything about easily, although still annoying for me to have to tell.


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meems
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17 Sep 2012, 6:44 pm

I don't feel powerless, just the opposite. I haven't allowed him to gain the upper hand. First he humiliated himself, now he's suspended for a semester and he has to complete a counseling program before he's allowed to return to school.

Still, he's someone I have a lot of friends in common with so I've yet to find out how this will effect he and I socially.