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Aspie men and the "L" word?

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Stalk
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17 Nov 2012, 2:19 pm

aspiesandra27 wrote:
Or moreover, do any of you feel they know they cannot love?

I am not sure if I can, because I don't understand that in romantic love, I want to kiss and cuddle mostly, and don't see things like going out to a bar and talking as pleasurable. I see it as a chore, and people say that if you love someone you like doing everything with them (but not all of the time). I don't like doing everything with my bf. My needs are quite basic with him. I do love talking to him, but it has to have physical contact too or it's a waste of time.

And would you lie and tell someone you love them just to get them off your back (if they ask you)?

I would never be able to do that. I am against lies. Makes me feel sick when I have to lie about something.

What did you do in the past when your bf/husband wanted to go to the bar? Did you say yes even though you felt it like to be a chore?
In my mind I linked the 2 questions based on what you described in the 2nd last question. meaning that I responded with it feeling like a chore at the time.

it's definitely not sustainable for me to keep doing it, the lie in it self feels like a chore to keep, eventually I bail.



aspiesandra27
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17 Nov 2012, 2:31 pm

With this guy I am seeing, I told him not to make a habit of it. He totally gets it. I did explained why, but him being an aspie it's just easier.

With my ex husband it was tough. Once we were ready to go out of the door of our house, with our suitcases packed, to go on a holiday, where we had to fly over the Atlantic Ocean. I just stopped in my tracks, and told him I wasn't going. The thought of having to go through all sensory overloads was too much of a burden and that was that. Keep in mind we had done a lot of travelling before so I knew I hated the transport experience. He wasn't pleased, but the good thing was he went I got to be on my own. That made me very pleased.

After that, saying "no" to the pub, was just really insignificant. :lol:



WantToHaveALife
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19 Nov 2012, 3:45 pm

aspiesandra27 wrote:
This is a question for all Aspie men out there:

How do you normally behave when you love someone? Is it easy for you to declare that love to your object of affection? Do you need to be absolutely sure? Or do you never say it, even if you feel it, as that would compromise you in some way? Are you afraid of it? Or moreover, do any of you feel they know they cannot love? And would you ie and tell someone you love them just to get them off your back (if they ask you)?


I wouldn't know since i've never been in a relationship