young single women just don't like me.

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well, it new years maybe this year I can find a nice happy single young woman to talk to. and not these cranky,withdrawn young single women.
if these young women are afraid that every guy who talk to them might become a stalker, then they need some help.
can't live your life being so parnoid.
and how do you ladies know that I may not end up meeting some crazy stalker lady myself. how I can trust ladies, I mean I could go up to some young woman and she might turn out to be crazy stalker herself, what about me. It could happen to guys too, right?

another thing to consider dude is that you;re 30....why would a young woman want a 30 yr old .
30 and 18 dont mix much

Yeah, 30 is about creepy old man territory. Not that it's illegal or anything, just most people would suggest you go for girls over like...25.

I do talk to women 25 and older but they are always married or in a relationship. I just get the cranky leftovers.

maybe Im just not lucky. everytime I meet some women younger than 35, and is real cool and get along with me, they always have boyfriend or are married. But when I do find one that is single, they always turn out to be cranky and mad about something or withdrawn.
do I have to an affair with a married woman, I don't want to but damn it is that my only option?

I've meet some cool and awesome aspie women before but once again, they all have boyfriends.

Can I ask what country you come from?

Your use of grammar is unusual

People usually say "I've met" as opposed to "I've meet" - this made me wonder where you live

u.s.a u.s.a oregon. Im a yankee.
since you ask about my dialect I give you some example: and you can translated them if you like
''how about them corn''
''the bbq sauce, that don't taste too good''
so, how's ya boyfriend doing'' ( you will not get this one) (to a woman I just met)
''you got the kids with you'' (you will not get this one,either) (to a person I just met)
''so how is nessa doing today? ''

Well I've actually been to Oregan a number of years ago, on a school exchange visit

I stayed with a family

They didn't talk like you

I can understand your phrases perfectly - I am pointing out the fact that you miss important parts out of sentences ie

"since you ask about my dialect I give you some example: and you can translated them if you like"

This sentence is not gramatcially correct - it should be 'I will give you some examples
and you can translate them

it made me wonder what your ethnic group was

And why wouldn't I get references to a boyfriend or kids?

Im only going be 30 on the 27th. your making me feel old.

I doubt if they necessarily worry about being stalked or you being "creepy" as such. That said, most women can bring to mind a lot of instances where they have been friendly to a guy and he has misinterpreted the situation, taking it as a cue to pursue her for dates and such. Needless to say, if the attraction isn't mutual (which of course nine times out of ten, it won't be) this just makes for a lot of awkward situations. I hasten to add; I know not all men are prone to making such assumptions, but enough are to mean that most women have had a significant experience of it. Any woman in a relationship, or clearly not suited due to being in a completely different age range, will probably feel more comfortable chatting casually to young guys in general, since owing to their life circumstances it's unlikely they'll have to worry about anyone getting the wrong end of the stick. Single women, however, are generally more acutely aware of the possibility, and might avoid interaction with men their own age unless they sense potential attraction to that person, which of course is a relatively rare scenario.

I was raised in a house full of men, and always felt most comfortable with male friends around through my teens. By the time I reached my early 20s, I'd had countless experiences in which guys I'd considered to be good, long-term friends decided to reveal their feelings for me years down the line, and I wound up feeling betrayed that the friendship did not have an honest basis. Other times I've been friendly with guys, only for them to get the wrong impression, and occasionally even respond with angry outbursts when I revealed I wasn't interested. I've had plenty of positive experiences interacting with guys too, of course, and my closest friend of over 10 years is a man. On balance, though, my experiences have lead me to be cautious about who I engage with for fear of bringing about any unnecessary awkwardness, and I imagine this is typical of most women.

If you're specifically looking to attract women, perhaps you'd be better off attending events and meetings where a common interest explicit..?

I think an even better tact is just to know you are worthy to talk to anyone, because you're a human with flesh and blood like everyone else. If someone is a loner and has a diffuculty making conversation, I can't help but think that they may feel unworthy of others. They need to get this out of their mind. Knowing that they aren't someone who's gonna hurt someone should be enough of a confidence boost. I don't think women are deterred from loner types of guys solely because they're afraid of being stalked.

Its just unattractive, inconfident behavior in general, which isn't attractive to females of any species. We have different challenges in the different gender roles we play, and I really don't think women have to prove their confidence the same way men have do, or at least in the same ways. I've seen very inconfident women find partners with ease, but its not the same story with men. Its not that its bad, just the way it is. I won't b***h about it like I have heard some guys do, but I can't ignore it either. The threat of being stalked, imo, is a the final nail in the coffin, the conscious rationale to stay away, but not necessarily the primary reason. It isn't unfounded though, being that socially inept people may resort to stalking since they are, after all, socially inept and ultimately confused about social interaction.

These are hard lessons in life, and they're hard because you only learn about them through real rejection and crash courses in emotional onslaught. I don't know that there's any other way. Nobody can write an instruction manual on these things. The last thing you want to do as a woman is to be a chronically insecure person because someone for a brief time got too attached to you, and the last thing you want to do as a man is to be chronically insecure because you're too afraid of women percieving you as a stalker. Its really self defeating, pathetic behavior either way. We've all been clingy and avoidant at some point in our lives, male and female, and we just need to suck it up and walk with a back bone.

Last edited by JNathanK on 03 Jan 2013, 8:39 pm, edited 2 times in total.

That's about the most cliche advice you could possibly give. People often times aren't specifically trying to do anything, because were multi-faceted beings with a multitude of layers about us. I wouldn't feel betrayed about your friends having hidden feelings for you either. Yes, I don't know the exact circumstances, but people get into relationships this way, just through friends and people they're around in their own life, not through some common interest group you have to search for elsewhere. If you didn't like them in that way, ok. Its lame that they got angry at you or whatever. This is just how feelings are though. You can't fully control it, and there probably was a genuine side to their friendship with you. The fact there were hidden romantic motives that they were too afraid to let out for years just means what it means. There was a hidden romantic element atop the other elements that you liked having them around for. Its a strange hang up, so I suspect you might feel guilty you couldn't return that affection? If that's the case, don't feel guilty about it, and if they wanted you to feel guilty about it, f**k them. It doesn't necessarily make the other aspects of the former friendship non-genuine or completely false though.

That's a lot of mental torture, to go ten years liking someone, feeling you can't express it, and then having these feelings (that feel so god damn genuine and real at the time) get shattered through total rejection when they're revealed. Its probably mental torture for you confronting that reality as well. You can't always be a thalidamide robot that just shuts these kinds of emotions off, and the fact you probably haven't even seen this guy since the falling out means you really don't know what he has thought or is still haunted by thinking. He could have been totally remourseful for the outburst. Maybe not. Maybe he's a huge as*hole. You don't know though, so that's why its fundamentally self defeating. . It is what it is, but it doesn't help to live in the past and feel victimized by it. The truth is that feelings are the way they are between the sexes, and you can't dissect it rationally, no matter how hard you try. He probably felt like total s**t, and you probably felt like total s**t. The trick is to stop feeling like s**t for either of ya. I'll leave it at that.

yeah, I guess I should.

why not go for women in your age range?