Dating sites are a terrible way to meet people

Post Reply New Topic

Havent been on this site a while. I changed my photos and profile on Match.com (with some good advice from here) and got lots and lots of dates.

Anyway. My conclusion is that for me at least it sucked. I didn't get one single 2nd date.

There were some guys who tried to get too touchy-feely with me early on in the date. I ended up punching one of them in the face. I'm not good with allowing people to touch me before Ive known them a while. As it is I dread handshakes in a professional setting. I suppose it meant they found me physically attractive so I musts console myself with that thought

The trouble with me is that I dont talk like the women these men are probably used to. My brain has a vast capacity for facts and figures and I do like to talk in great depth about particular subjects like all the history of the Olympics, behavioural psychology, Doctor Who, Formula 1 racing. These guys just didnt seem to like that
I can't do the vague, anecdotal style of conversation that most women do and my ability to flirt is limited to excitably sharing facts on common topics of interest (if indeed you can call that flirting).

I think in these dating scenarios where you have not previously met someone in person or otherwise conversed for long (having met them through online site) it disadvantages people like me as its obvious that Im a bit "different" when people meet me for the first time and they get put off and dont agree for 2nd date cos theyve judged me there and then and dont need to see me again. when I make friends it is normally because they have gotten to know me for at least a few weeks first (i.e. at work or a class outside work where they have to turn up regularly for reasons not to do with me) and they can get used to my pattern of eye contact and other quirks. I have tried to hold off meeting men in person to allow conversation to develop first but they seem to wander off if you will not meet them in a week to a fortnight.

I'm through with those sites now for that reason and also becuase a better prospect may be on the cards.
Theres this guy ive known for a little while who I like - im about 65/70% sure he likes me also. hes very shy, doesnt talk much, a bit awkward in a cute way might be aspie also. Trying to build up the courage to ask for a date. we been swapping books for a while on psychology and texting each other lots. I think thats a good sign but more nervous about initiating than i would normally be as we work together in a large office and if i misunderstood it then the fallout and potential gossip could be bad, as is if we dated we would have to make sure that it was not common knowledge.

actually i think they are a lie... Look at the TV show "catfish", not saying they are always a lie (i have never used it) but i know for my luck if i did try one i would be the one of the characters on that tv show catfish and i would find out the person i was talking was really "real"