Am I a Carrot?

Post Reply New Topic

To the original poster:

I always thought that relationships worked that way on the fundamental level.

I saw an idea on the internet recently that said that marriage developed as an exchange between a man's labor and a woman's sex, and that is why men work so hard. Wild animal males typically are lazy because they don't know who their kids are. Human men are supposed to be different because of marriage (so that the men have some sort of object to direct their labor towards). Married men were historically, and still are, by far the highest wage earners, even though women make more for equal work as of 2010 (you can look that up) because married men put in more hours and go to school longer. I thought it made sense, but maybe someone else has a better idea.

In the second relationship I had, I made my sexual desires pretty clear. I thought that since we were in a relationship and we did nice things for each other on a regular basis, it made sense to have sex at some point, although there was never any particular thing that I wanted it in exchange for, or any particular time or place to have it. That attitude really pissed the girl off, however, as I found out after she dumped me. Now I am afraid of expressing any sort of sexual desire at all, and if ever I feel any sort of entitlement to sex, I try to keep the feeling to myself. The girlfriend I had after that was really "easy," and initiated sexual stuff all the time. I didn't think it was slu*ty at all, because it felt like she did it because she wanted to, and for no other reason. It did not feel like she did that sort of stuff for most guys, which was very special for me.

My pleasure center is the clitoris, which has little to do with reproduction. Because of this, the sexual acts I get the most physical enjoyment from have no risk of pregnancy. I might accept this theory if men ejaculated from their tongues.

the fundamental flaw with this theory is that women work as hard as men do. just because men earn more money for the same work in a comparable job doesn't mean that they are working harder to get it. and even in those situations where women are not working as many hours outside the home (or are staying at home full time), they are generally working as many hours in a week, though those hours might be unpaid. as the wage gap closes and more women stay in the workforce (it is about 50/50 men and women in canada and the u.s. right now, this is becoming more in balance.

throughout history, women and men DID both work, for example in the family business (farms or trades) or as servants (except for upper classes, which formed a minority). so i don't think that marriage evolved as an exchange of labour and sex. women have always laboured just like men did, just sometimes at slightly different jobs.

i have seen the theory that monogamous marriage likely evolved out of sedentary farm-based lifestyles, because early farming required the intense labour of 2 individuals.


http://www.theadvancedapes.com/theratch ... monogamous

that same study covered your point about men working harder. apparently couples across various cultures are more likely to remain married if both the men and women contribute equally.

So, what point was there, or is there, in marriage?

What is the purpose of "dating?"

What I meant when I said that men work so hard is that they work hard compared to most other male animals in the wild. Of course most mammalian and bird mothers work very hard for their kids, and so do human mothers. The reason they do that and fathers often don't is that there is never a question about the identity of the mother. And I do know that women also worked, but they historically they did (and largely still do) things that are difficult to assign a monetary value to. Although I do see why you thought I thought that (I would too if I hadn't been the one to say it).

Also, it is true that very recently, single women have started to make more than single men for equal work. I think the figure is something like 7% more. But married men make more than everyone, I believe mostly due to how men work harder when they get kids, and women take off time from work to take care of them.

I think the quote you gave about how marriage may have gotten started sounds very similar to what I said, maybe like two sides of the same coin.

Right, so just because you like getting eaten out undermines the whole concept of sexual reproduction. Please, let me know when you're paper proving this hypothesis is published.

That wouldn't undermine the concept of sexual reproduction.

My point was, Nature doesn't care if she likes having oral sex performed on her, since oral sex has no bearing on sexual reproduction. The only thing Nature cares about is penis - vagina intercourse and the female getting pregnant. The whole reason animals, plants, everything is on earth is due to and to do sex. Oral Sex is great, don't mistake me, and I have much looser standards when it comes to that, I've done stuff like that with girls MUCH sooner than I ever would have penetrative sex with them for exactly the reasons stated, it's less risky. But I don't actively define oral as 'Sex', but as 'foreplay'.

And rabbits eat carrots!

Uhh err umm.. I *DO* enjoy both Carrots and performing oral sex on women. So either way you're joke works..

the difference in what i was saying is that when men's labour is valued equally to women's labour, then couples are more successful. you were saying that men's labour is more highly valued than women's, otherwise it would not be bartered for something completely different (sex). if women's labour was equally valued, it would be an even contribution: labour for labour.

on an individual level, many people find fulfillment and security and happiness in marriage.

we were discussing the possible evolution of marriage, which isn't really the same thing.

People want to have sex with other people because they think sex with them will be pleasuring. Once they found out it they'll have more if both partners find so.

If however, any person thinks another person should be obliged to sex with them because they did them a "favour" which the other person might not even regard as such, they admit to themselves not even being sexually attractive. Simple as that.

Sex happens if it pleasures each person involved. If not it won't happen and if it still happens it's not sex, it's forced sex and I will resign to use a more accurate synonym here.

I did offer a past tense option. What was the historical point of marriage? Why should marriage have evolved?

i posted a theory about that, from the opinion of some researchers.