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FWB relationships - your opinion?

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meems
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13 May 2013, 7:48 pm

appletheclown wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
meems wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
meems wrote:
I find committed relationships with men to be pretty much something I never want, sex with men is not really my thing, not even because I don't like the physical aspect, I just don't like men for the most part,(as in, I dislike most men I encounter socially and would not want to sleep with them) so if I'm sleeping with a guy, it's definitely a FWB situation, but never more. It's pretty much the same with women, but the only committed relationships I could even imagine in my future would definitely be same sex relationships. I tend to like women, most of my friends are women, etc. I just don't have the draw to be in anything committed with a dude.

I was in a committed relationship years ago with a dude, got pregnant, got an abortion, and I was pretty careful then, but I'm extremely careful now. But that's how I dealt with the one unwanted pregnancy that came up, in a responsible manner. I've never caught an STI/STD etc. Sex is just sex, it's nothing more to me. The idea of someone I've slept with thinking it's more just repulses me. And I've run into those situations, I generally cut it off as soon as this comes to light.


If you were in a committed relationship, why did you get an abortion? Not trying to be mean, was he being a dirtbag about it? You don't have to answer if it is too personal a question.


The number one reason was that I have no desire to raise a child, no intention of ever being a parent.



I would have gladly raised the child for you.


Many women don't want to go through 40 weeks of pregnancy and then labor and birth just to give away their child. I've been through it four times with babies that I wanted, and it's no walk in the park. I cannot imagine going through all that for a baby that I didn't want in the first place and that there was no chance I would change my mind and want later.

Also, there are many, many people out there to adopt babies. I'm sure that having an abortion wasn't based on worry that there wouldn't be anyone to raise the child.

She made the decision that was right for her. There are many babies out there to adopt and kids that need foster homes. How many of them are you helping out? I'd worry about the ones that are here already before worrying about the ones that aren't.


The dead ones never get a chance to live, it is not something I can easily just forget about. It is her choice, you are right, it doesn't mean I have to like it. FYI, I do intend on adopting kids, not fostering them. I may intend on doing this when I get married but I am going to adopt a lot of them. Giving children a home where they can feel safe is one of the things I can at least do. I don't have much, and I probably never will, but if it is all I can do then fine. If I were to cause an abortion, I would not know what I would do. I would however, feel I deserve the same punishment as the unborn child received, that is how I view abortion. I am not saying anyone else deserves this though, I am just saying what I believe.


Don't worry, I'm sure I'll die eventually. This is where I'm done with this conversation because I suspected that was where you were going with it.

I will get angry if I continue, so I'm done, I'm bowing out of the thread.


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JanuaryMan
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13 May 2013, 7:48 pm

meems wrote:
JanuaryMan wrote:
meems wrote:
JanuaryMan wrote:
meems wrote:
Well you don't know my mother, you don't know me, but don't apologize, please go on, tell me how my mother, who is a pedophile and likes little girls, like me and my sister, views me? Now that I'm an adult and I'm of no use to her and she literally has wished me dead repeatedly, TELL ME ALL ABOUT HOW YOU IMAGINE MY MOTHER VIEWING ME


meems, I'm sorry those things happened to you. As much as apple is a creep at times, no one here including him is psychic or is going to know about your past.
I dislike the comments about abortion as well.. but you have to remember this is a public forum and that again we aren't psychic.


No, I'm not expecting anyone to be a psychic, I'm expecting people to know they AREN'T psychics, and not make a moral point by using my parents or family or anyone I know that they don't.

OR to make a moral point about sh** that doesn't exist. Please, "I would've taken care of that baby" BS, if he wanted to be taking care of an orphaned baby, he would be doing that, not saying he WOULD'VE taken care of one I never had.


Yeah, that was some weird ass stuff right there. Still...when stupid comments like that get you mad probably best to do what MXH said.


I'm irritated, but it hasn't come to a point of a feeling of anger. If I get pissed off by the forum I usually go do something else and come back later if I'm still thinking about it. Why censor my thoughts and try to be sensitive to someone who is saying weird sh** to me? This isn't group therapy, I don't see the point in pretending it's not gross or weird on the chance I might come across as less than sweet and nice.
This isn't group therapy sure, and you don't have to be dishonest to yourself but just because some guy says something really stupid doesn't grant you a meal ticket to go H.A.M. I know that's not going to be a popular opinion but I'm just saying.



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13 May 2013, 7:49 pm

MXH wrote:
MXH wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
MXH wrote:
I think that with all my personality defects and things like commitment issues and what not a solid fab would be my best if only chance


Commitment issues eh? Is being stuck with a lady who wants to jump in the shower with you, take you to her nerd conventions, show you off to all her friends, cuddle around you Every Night, help you through your burnouts, cheer you up, and you the same for her really that bad? I would love to come home to a smiling face, and be that smiling face for someone else so very much. Wouldn't you?


I've had all of that out of a fwb.

Bringing this up again in hopes of going back on topic.


Yeah you can have all this with FWB.



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13 May 2013, 7:51 pm

JanuaryMan wrote:
MXH wrote:
MXH wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
MXH wrote:
I think that with all my personality defects and things like commitment issues and what not a solid fab would be my best if only chance


Commitment issues eh? Is being stuck with a lady who wants to jump in the shower with you, take you to her nerd conventions, show you off to all her friends, cuddle around you Every Night, help you through your burnouts, cheer you up, and you the same for her really that bad? I would love to come home to a smiling face, and be that smiling face for someone else so very much. Wouldn't you?


I've had all of that out of a fwb.

Bringing this up again in hopes of going back on topic.


Yeah you can have all this with FWB.


Its what I'm saying, not only can you but I have. Going completely against what he is saying



appletheclown
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13 May 2013, 7:55 pm

meems wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
meems wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
meems wrote:
I find committed relationships with men to be pretty much something I never want, sex with men is not really my thing, not even because I don't like the physical aspect, I just don't like men for the most part,(as in, I dislike most men I encounter socially and would not want to sleep with them) so if I'm sleeping with a guy, it's definitely a FWB situation, but never more. It's pretty much the same with women, but the only committed relationships I could even imagine in my future would definitely be same sex relationships. I tend to like women, most of my friends are women, etc. I just don't have the draw to be in anything committed with a dude.

I was in a committed relationship years ago with a dude, got pregnant, got an abortion, and I was pretty careful then, but I'm extremely careful now. But that's how I dealt with the one unwanted pregnancy that came up, in a responsible manner. I've never caught an STI/STD etc. Sex is just sex, it's nothing more to me. The idea of someone I've slept with thinking it's more just repulses me. And I've run into those situations, I generally cut it off as soon as this comes to light.


If you were in a committed relationship, why did you get an abortion? Not trying to be mean, was he being a dirtbag about it? You don't have to answer if it is too personal a question.


The number one reason was that I have no desire to raise a child, no intention of ever being a parent.



I would have gladly raised the child for you.


Many women don't want to go through 40 weeks of pregnancy and then labor and birth just to give away their child. I've been through it four times with babies that I wanted, and it's no walk in the park. I cannot imagine going through all that for a baby that I didn't want in the first place and that there was no chance I would change my mind and want later.

Also, there are many, many people out there to adopt babies. I'm sure that having an abortion wasn't based on worry that there wouldn't be anyone to raise the child.

She made the decision that was right for her. There are many babies out there to adopt and kids that need foster homes. How many of them are you helping out? I'd worry about the ones that are here already before worrying about the ones that aren't.


The dead ones never get a chance to live, it is not something I can easily just forget about. It is her choice, you are right, it doesn't mean I have to like it. FYI, I do intend on adopting kids, not fostering them. I may intend on doing this when I get married but I am going to adopt a lot of them. Giving children a home where they can feel safe is one of the things I can at least do. I don't have much, and I probably never will, but if it is all I can do then fine. If I were to cause an abortion, I would not know what I would do. I would however, feel I deserve the same punishment as the unborn child received, that is how I view abortion. I am not saying anyone else deserves this though, I am just saying what I believe.


Don't worry, I'm sure I'll die eventually. This is where I'm done with this conversation because I suspected that was where you were going with it.

I will get angry if I continue, so I'm done, I'm bowing out of the thread.






Did I ever say I hated you in particular? NO. I'll just shut up now, obviously this is not something I can state my opinion on without offending people I have no intention of offending. I'm sorry for your loss. You should have never been treated that way. I don't view the threads as they pop up either, so don't think I even knew you responded and intended to offend you after you said your spew about being abused. Again sorry. I can't take back my opinions though, but I will apologize if they offend you.


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13 May 2013, 7:56 pm

appletheclown wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
meems wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
meems wrote:
I find committed relationships with men to be pretty much something I never want, sex with men is not really my thing, not even because I don't like the physical aspect, I just don't like men for the most part,(as in, I dislike most men I encounter socially and would not want to sleep with them) so if I'm sleeping with a guy, it's definitely a FWB situation, but never more. It's pretty much the same with women, but the only committed relationships I could even imagine in my future would definitely be same sex relationships. I tend to like women, most of my friends are women, etc. I just don't have the draw to be in anything committed with a dude.

I was in a committed relationship years ago with a dude, got pregnant, got an abortion, and I was pretty careful then, but I'm extremely careful now. But that's how I dealt with the one unwanted pregnancy that came up, in a responsible manner. I've never caught an STI/STD etc. Sex is just sex, it's nothing more to me. The idea of someone I've slept with thinking it's more just repulses me. And I've run into those situations, I generally cut it off as soon as this comes to light.


If you were in a committed relationship, why did you get an abortion? Not trying to be mean, was he being a dirtbag about it? You don't have to answer if it is too personal a question.


The number one reason was that I have no desire to raise a child, no intention of ever being a parent.



I would have gladly raised the child for you.


Many women don't want to go through 40 weeks of pregnancy and then labor and birth just to give away their child. I've been through it four times with babies that I wanted, and it's no walk in the park. I cannot imagine going through all that for a baby that I didn't want in the first place and that there was no chance I would change my mind and want later.

Also, there are many, many people out there to adopt babies. I'm sure that having an abortion wasn't based on worry that there wouldn't be anyone to raise the child.

She made the decision that was right for her. There are many babies out there to adopt and kids that need foster homes. How many of them are you helping out? I'd worry about the ones that are here already before worrying about the ones that aren't.


The dead ones never get a chance to live, it is not something I can easily just forget about. It is her choice, you are right, it doesn't mean I have to like it. FYI, I do intend on adopting kids, not fostering them. I may intend on doing this when I get married but I am going to adopt a lot of them. Giving children a home where they can feel safe is one of the things I can at least do. I don't have much, and I probably never will, but if it is all I can do then fine. If I were to cause an abortion, I would not know what I would do. I would however, feel I deserve the same punishment as the unborn child received, that is how I view abortion. I am not saying anyone else deserves this though, I am just saying what I believe.


This isn't a thread about abortion. You are welcome to make a thread about abortion in PPR if you want. Meems shared something personal on here and didn't share it with the intent to be preached at about it by a stranger who doesn't know her and who has never and will never be in the situation she was in.

What exactly did you think you would accomplish by saying that to her? Considering that she has already had the abortion years ago you weren't trying to talk her out of having one. Clearly your intent was simply to attempt to make her feel bad about it. Making comments like that about abortion in general is one thing but making comments like that about someone's abortion that has already been done is really just uncalled for.


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13 May 2013, 7:57 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
Have no "opinion" about it because it doesnt exist.

There is no such thing as being FWB in the straight world.

Gay men can be FWB, but not straight people.


Where in the world did you get that idea? I've certainly had it.


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13 May 2013, 8:02 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
Have no "opinion" about it because it doesnt exist.

There is no such thing as being FWB in the straight world.

Gay men can be FWB, but not straight people.


Where in the world did you get that idea? I've certainly had it.

My thoughts too. I am not sure many people truly understand concepts of love, dating and sex around here.



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13 May 2013, 8:08 pm

MXH wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
Have no "opinion" about it because it doesnt exist.

There is no such thing as being FWB in the straight world.

Gay men can be FWB, but not straight people.


Where in the world did you get that idea? I've certainly had it.

My thoughts too. I am not sure many people truly understand concepts of love, dating and sex around here.


Love is absent in an FWB relationship, that is why we have an opinion, we do understand, we just don't don't have the sane opinion as other people, and it offends them.


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13 May 2013, 8:10 pm

There are many types of love, so love can exist within a FWB arrangement. You are attributing the type of love you seek to absolute love and the others as null.



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13 May 2013, 8:12 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
meems wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
meems wrote:
I find committed relationships with men to be pretty much something I never want, sex with men is not really my thing, not even because I don't like the physical aspect, I just don't like men for the most part,(as in, I dislike most men I encounter socially and would not want to sleep with them) so if I'm sleeping with a guy, it's definitely a FWB situation, but never more. It's pretty much the same with women, but the only committed relationships I could even imagine in my future would definitely be same sex relationships. I tend to like women, most of my friends are women, etc. I just don't have the draw to be in anything committed with a dude.

I was in a committed relationship years ago with a dude, got pregnant, got an abortion, and I was pretty careful then, but I'm extremely careful now. But that's how I dealt with the one unwanted pregnancy that came up, in a responsible manner. I've never caught an STI/STD etc. Sex is just sex, it's nothing more to me. The idea of someone I've slept with thinking it's more just repulses me. And I've run into those situations, I generally cut it off as soon as this comes to light.


If you were in a committed relationship, why did you get an abortion? Not trying to be mean, was he being a dirtbag about it? You don't have to answer if it is too personal a question.


The number one reason was that I have no desire to raise a child, no intention of ever being a parent.



I would have gladly raised the child for you.


Many women don't want to go through 40 weeks of pregnancy and then labor and birth just to give away their child. I've been through it four times with babies that I wanted, and it's no walk in the park. I cannot imagine going through all that for a baby that I didn't want in the first place and that there was no chance I would change my mind and want later.

Also, there are many, many people out there to adopt babies. I'm sure that having an abortion wasn't based on worry that there wouldn't be anyone to raise the child.

She made the decision that was right for her. There are many babies out there to adopt and kids that need foster homes. How many of them are you helping out? I'd worry about the ones that are here already before worrying about the ones that aren't.


The dead ones never get a chance to live, it is not something I can easily just forget about. It is her choice, you are right, it doesn't mean I have to like it. FYI, I do intend on adopting kids, not fostering them. I may intend on doing this when I get married but I am going to adopt a lot of them. Giving children a home where they can feel safe is one of the things I can at least do. I don't have much, and I probably never will, but if it is all I can do then fine. If I were to cause an abortion, I would not know what I would do. I would however, feel I deserve the same punishment as the unborn child received, that is how I view abortion. I am not saying anyone else deserves this though, I am just saying what I believe.


This isn't a thread about abortion. You are welcome to make a thread about abortion in PPR if you want. Meems shared something personal on here and didn't share it with the intent to be preached at about it by a stranger who doesn't know her and who has never and will never be in the situation she was in.

What exactly did you think you would accomplish by saying that to her? Considering that she has already had the abortion years ago you weren't trying to talk her out of having one. Clearly your intent was simply to attempt to make her feel bad about it. Making comments like that about abortion in general is one thing but making comments like that about someone's abortion that has already been done is really just uncalled for.


I had no intention initially to offend her at all, even after she told me to "Go Choke". I had no ill intent at all, she is the one who had the outburst, and completely ignored my apology.


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13 May 2013, 8:13 pm

appletheclown wrote:
MXH wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
Have no "opinion" about it because it doesnt exist.

There is no such thing as being FWB in the straight world.

Gay men can be FWB, but not straight people.


Where in the world did you get that idea? I've certainly had it.

My thoughts too. I am not sure many people truly understand concepts of love, dating and sex around here.


Love is absent in an FWB relationship, that is why we have an opinion, we do understand, we just don't don't have the sane opinion as other people, and it offends them.

Any relationship including a marriage is only what those involved want it to be. Is an arranged mail order bride thing better than some friends banging every so often for fun? That is the problem had here. Like JM said, you're treating what you want as the absolute. If you're doing it on purpose or not is another story. But you are doing it. I already showed how your demeaning comment to me has absolutely no backing whatsoever.



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13 May 2013, 8:16 pm

appletheclown wrote:
MXH wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
Have no "opinion" about it because it doesnt exist.

There is no such thing as being FWB in the straight world.

Gay men can be FWB, but not straight people.


Where in the world did you get that idea? I've certainly had it.

My thoughts too. I am not sure many people truly understand concepts of love, dating and sex around here.


Love is absent in an FWB relationship, that is why we have an opinion, we do understand, we just don't don't have the sane opinion as other people, and it offends them.


Nobody is offended that you have a different opinion. However the point of the above posts is why the poster thinks that straight people can't have a FWB but gay men can. Love being absent in a FWB relationship has nothing to do with that. Also, what's wrong if love is absent in that relationship? Also, if you are good friends (read my story about my first FWB with a guy who I'm still friends with) you do love one another but just not romantically?

You like to say how you are traditional and conservative and presumably are Christian and have values taken from the Bible, so let me ask this. In Biblical times many, many marriages were arranged. They did not love each other, but they had sex. Was that wrong? They did not love each other. They did not feel a sacred bond and enjoy becoming one flesh and blood. The girl married the guy her father told her to (sold for a brideprice usually) and she had sex with him because she had to, and to have children for him. So if love is so important in sex, why doesn't the Bible condemn arranged marriages because there is no love?


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13 May 2013, 8:16 pm

MXH wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
MXH wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
Have no "opinion" about it because it doesnt exist.

There is no such thing as being FWB in the straight world.

Gay men can be FWB, but not straight people.


Where in the world did you get that idea? I've certainly had it.

My thoughts too. I am not sure many people truly understand concepts of love, dating and sex around here.


Love is absent in an FWB relationship, that is why we have an opinion, we do understand, we just don't don't have the sane opinion as other people, and it offends them.

Any relationship including a marriage is only what those involved want it to be. Is an arranged mail order bride thing better than some friends banging every so often for fun? That is the problem had here. Like JM said, you're treating what you want as the absolute. If you're doing it on purpose or not is another story. But you are doing it. I already showed how your demeaning comment to me has absolutely no backing whatsoever.



You obviously don't understand I meant it would be demeaning to MEEEEEE if IIIIII had meaningless sex NOt you!


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13 May 2013, 8:18 pm

Well....It would be very satisfying for me. LOL.
Hmm...L&D is turning into Craiglist!



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13 May 2013, 8:20 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
MXH wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
Have no "opinion" about it because it doesnt exist.

There is no such thing as being FWB in the straight world.

Gay men can be FWB, but not straight people.


Where in the world did you get that idea? I've certainly had it.

My thoughts too. I am not sure many people truly understand concepts of love, dating and sex around here.


Love is absent in an FWB relationship, that is why we have an opinion, we do understand, we just don't don't have the sane opinion as other people, and it offends them.


Nobody is offended that you have a different opinion. However the point of the above posts is why the poster thinks that straight people can't have a FWB but gay men can. Love being absent in a FWB relationship has nothing to do with that. Also, what's wrong if love is absent in that relationship? Also, if you are good friends (read my story about my first FWB with a guy who I'm still friends with) you do love one another but just not romantically?

You like to say how you are traditional and conservative and presumably are Christian and have values taken from the Bible, so let me ask this. In Biblical times many, many marriages were arranged. They did not love each other, but they had sex. Was that wrong? They did not love each other. They did not feel a sacred bond and enjoy becoming one flesh and blood. The girl married the guy her father told her to (sold for a brideprice usually) and she had sex with him because she had to, and to have children for him. So if love is so important in sex, why doesn't the Bible condemn arranged marriages because there is no love?


Because back then God walked the earth, but women also respected their fathers wishes. Most of the time they learned to love, as I have also said before. The bible doesn't condemn arranged marriages because they are marriages, not pre-marital sex.


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