we need single pride

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PsychoSarah
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22 May 2013, 8:26 am

How is this a change of topic, the influence references instincts.

MCalavera
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22 May 2013, 8:32 am

Read up on LeDoux Theory of Emotion.

Check this link (should be easy to read and understand).

http://cranepsych.edublogs.org/files/20 ... memory.pdf

The human cortex can do a lot of amazing things (that most other animals, if not all of them, cannot do), including but not limited to complex calculations, coming up with philosophical arguments, and making decisions based on reasoning to override pre-cortex brain decisions/responses (this reasoning being based on personal experiences and what's stored in memory). If this doesn't set us apart from other animals, what does?

The_Face_of_Boo
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22 May 2013, 8:35 am

PsychoSarah wrote:

^ Certain judgments are still influenced by instinctual tendencies. Racism partially stems from the fact that our brains (beginning around age 5) fire fear and anger signals in response to people who do not look like us (people of different races). This isn't consciously controlled, and while people can attempt to be unbiased based on race, etc., studies show that the influence is still there, no matter how much people try.

Probably that was an evolutionary advantageous trait in times when groups used to attack each other frequently (or even different coexisting humanoid species such as Neanderthals vs Homo Sapiens).

MCalavera
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22 May 2013, 8:44 am

Just to be clear, non-human animals can override instincts as well (as demonstrated by LeDoux with his studies on rats).

hurtloam
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22 May 2013, 8:48 am

Jono wrote:

Have you ever tried asking a man on a date? He doesn't have to be "passive", just someone that you like. You know, there's no law against women taking the initiative. If you don't know if someone has a girlfriend, you can simply ask him.

I am constantly getting things wrong in social situations, things go over my head that are obvious to everyone else and I worry that I will step out of line so to speak. Like everyone will know this guy is into someone else and I misjudge the situation and ask him if he wants to go out for a drink with me when there was no way he was interested.

There was this time I went out for dinner with a group of people, I met up with a guy I liked and he drove me there, we actually got on really well that day, I thought things were going well. We got to the restaurant and I went to the restroom. There were too many of us so chairs and tables were re-shuffled to accommodate. I came back in and everyone had taken seats, so I sat next to him totally oblivious to the fact that a seat had been left beside him by his friends with the intention of getting him to sit next to the girl he fancied. Also no one had thought to get me a spare chair while I was powdering my nose so I was totally oblivious, plus she was late to arrive. Anyway the girl the seat was saved for was not me, but this stunning girl with large eyes, I managed to steal my friend's husband's seat when he got up to buy a drink so that the girl could sit next to my crush. It was a total nightmare!

Generally I'm quiet stupid and taking risks tends to make things more mixed up.

The_Face_of_Boo
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22 May 2013, 8:48 am

MCalavera wrote:

Just to be clear, non-human animals can override instincts as well (as demonstrated by LeDoux with his studies on rats).

In some matters it's always possible, humans do it all the time otherwise we would be all jerking and humping in public.
But can you make yourself attracted to someone you found physically repulsive through reasoning? Can you override this instinct?

hurtloam
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22 May 2013, 8:50 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

MCalavera wrote:

Just to be clear, non-human animals can override instincts as well (as demonstrated by LeDoux with his studies on rats).

Don't they say people can grow on you once you get to know them better? Usually it's people's personalities that put me off...

The_Face_of_Boo
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22 May 2013, 8:52 am

hurtloam wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

MCalavera wrote:

Just to be clear, non-human animals can override instincts as well (as demonstrated by LeDoux with his studies on rats).

Don't they say people can grow on you once you get to know them better? Usually it's people's personalities that put me off...

but cant hey turn you on if you weren't initially attracted to them?

MCalavera
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22 May 2013, 9:02 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

MCalavera wrote:

Just to be clear, non-human animals can override instincts as well (as demonstrated by LeDoux with his studies on rats).

Personally, I don't know. But I do know if I find someone physically appealing and with a decent personality, then I don't see why I couldn't give her go even if she wasn't the most favorable type to date. Especially if I do desire a relationship at the end of the day.

b9
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22 May 2013, 9:21 am

people are just "thing"s before i know them. i never really know them to a complete extent, and so they remain no more important than "things" unless they say something that captures my imagination. if i am captured then my desire to associate is accelerated, and it is pure luck that governs whether i will be understood on a deep level by who i wish to talk to.

"whatever"! ! to an extreme degree

billiscool
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22 May 2013, 9:39 am

Jono wrote:

If you don't want to remain single then why have "single pride"? That gives all your potential dates the impression that you don't want a relationship and want to remain single, thus discouraging them from dating you.

I don't have a choice, it not like women are lining up to date me, and the one's who have a good chances of dating me, are dating other men.
so, I have two options
A-be miserable, angry and become a card carrying mra member
or
B- be happy, and enjoy my single life.

danmac
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22 May 2013, 10:37 am

Fnord wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

but the pride groups are useful interim step between the now of pain and the bright shiny future of acceptance.

No, sir. The interim step is to not give a fornicative act about what other people think. Once you stop letting other people decide for you that you have no worth unless you're in a committed relationship, then you will start feeling pride for making your own choices!

first off, I side with Fnord on this.
but location location location, the bigger the population, the more the single life is accepted(though some families and churches still look down on it). the smaller the community, the less it is accepted and seen as your gay or some sort of crazy.

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ShamelessGit
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22 May 2013, 1:05 pm

marshall wrote:

ShamelessGit wrote:

Why would I be proud of the fact that nobody likes me? Or if I were single by choice, then why would I be proud of the fact that I don't like anybody else?

If you were single by choice you wouldn't be able to like anyone? I didn't know "like" was a synonym for "want to make babies with".

I don't understand where you're coming from. If I like another person in a romantic way, and she feels the same way about me, then it seems natural that we would form a relationship. So if that's not what's happening, then there is not an appropriate combination of me being attracted to other people and other people being attracted to me. I don't think it matters a great deal exactly how "like" is manifested for this to be true.

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23 May 2013, 9:35 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Being single is not an achievement - hence why a pride thing makes no sense.

I disagree sir. The fact that you are single may or may not be an achievement. You cant consider only the scenarios where the person has been dumped or etc. There are many people who choose to remain single break up with that said someone to be single and have good reasons for it.

Taking pride in being single is a good thing to do. Without a doubt. If you are going to find love in this life you should first be happy with yourself before being happy with someone else.

Now I'm not saying we are all perfect people mind you. Not ever relationship is going to follow such a logic OBVIOUSLY. I'm just saying that two people who are independent and don't rely on each other but rather enjoy each others company and appreciate it will probably produce a healthier relationship then that of two adolescents:who are so caught up in the meaning of "love" that they don't actually understand what purpose it can serve productively in their lives. {Adding to that thought both individuals can live without each other and realize that not all of the world is between you and said lover}

Disagree with ME? Eat it.

appletheclown
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23 May 2013, 9:40 pm

Uncertainty wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Being single is not an achievement - hence why a pride thing makes no sense.

I'll eat it and enjoy life more than anyone else! I hope you are happy being single, I pray to Heaven you are!

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