Girl dates me for being nice to her: Matrix glitch report.

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That's because you're twisted.
wtf is "token resistance" in that context?

I witnessed the discomfort of an intelligent girl I know in a "consensual" "relationship" last year.
You guys can't judge anything when you're in the heat of the moment - you are whoremoanally unsober if your "game play" is that much of a gray area.

brill.

This has quickly descended into a bit of a horror show.

When this thread started, right, it was all about certain qualities bringing you two together.

If you are not careful, you are going to screw this up by forgetting what worked in the first place, and the part of you which was so attractive will be masked by Mr Horny.

I am sorry - yes, there are 'tactics' to fast-forward situations to a more physical level. Now, sometimes they work, and sometimes the opposite of them works. And this is the trouble - there is no general rule. Sometimes it's been date number one, and sometimes it's been longer. And that just depend on you - it's often the girl.

Hell, sometimes the girl takes longer to get physical - as a compliment to you! Really. For instance, she 'gave it up' quickly to her last boyfriend, but he was scum, and out of embarassment, she's not going to use that slu*ty behaviour on you because it might be insulting you. Also, it can be a test for her.

Now, there could be many ways. None of us know, we don't know her or the situation well enough. If you really like her, you might be moving too fast. I find some girls are very forgiving of this - you stop, and then you try something later, and you can guage their reaction, and escalate or not.

Or, you forget about everything, and just let it happen, don't hold yourself back, but don't push anything. Forget about her boobs, her features and you will be surprised what actually happens of its own accord - which, actually, is far more amazing and will create such a natural connection. It's like a complete wow for both of you. Also, she will sense that you are relaxed, attentive and 'not after anything' - and paradoxically it becomes fun for her, because there is no expectation.

Summary - ignore all advice, just concentrate on being yourself and being with her, and 'it' will happen, and will be much more fun and deeper than squeezing a mammary.

They could see that as part of the game to taunt you by making out that you're 'square'. Verbal consent may be a passion killer for them and a means to tease you more.

In fact, in that situation it might be better not to have sex with her at all. It could well piss her off terribly, but it's her fault.



You can never be 100% certain. Often, the people involved having sex are not 100% sure that they want it or not. They might lean towards wanting it, but they would not hugely miss it either.



'Coercion' is not the right word. If the guilt overrides the desire to have sex, I wouldn't want to be anywhere near her.

If you ask her if she wants sex and she says "no" that's a goddamn NO! How is that hard to understand?

Christ almighty this girl seems to like Shau precisely because he didn't pull that kind of manipulative douchey garbage on her and your advice to him is to be more assertive and pressure her? WORST ADVICE EVER.......

Shau, if you listen to these people you'll scare her away. Be patient and if it's meant to happen it will eventually. Also be 100% up front with her about your intentions. Tell her you're ready to take it to the bone-zone but only when she is 100% comfortable and don't continue to push the issue.

Playfully and jokingly saying 'no' whilst laughing, yet not actually moving away or putting clothes on, or with any other defensive body language. Not protesting when you go further either.

Some women do use 'no' when they mean 'yes', and I'd agree that it's an iffy game to play.

It's always best to stick with No means no, especially if it's one or two people who struggle to pick up social cues.

Better to try again another day than to be someone's b***h in jail.

You don't understand the nature of token resistance that some - very silly - women use. It basically means that they will say no when they really mean yes. The problems with that way of showing interest should be obvious to everyone.

It depends with context, how it's said, and other clues that she's sending off. A 'no' could mean a straight no (and in most circumstances probably does) or it could mean something else depending on what else is happening. But I'd probably want to query it and ask what was going on.

If it's under too much doubt though, I'd want to leave.

A paper like this sort of outlines what I mean: http://elainehatfield.com/uploads/3/2/2 ... a_1994.pdf

I do understand the general point you're trying to make.

Like I said, the woman with the rape fantasy scared the hell out of me because she didn't talk to me about it first nor expect any discussion, she just wanted me to force her way into her house and violate her. It was really messed up. I tried to talk to her about it, so that I could make it consensual and BDSM-like, but frankly she wasn't open to any discussion.

But that's sexual harassment!

I have to agree that it's better for you to make sure she wants to have sex before you make any moves in that direction with her. It sounds like this female that Shau is seeing is conservative, which is actually a very good sign shau. Those are the types of women that I personally strive for myself, even though they will take longer to have sex with by nature. Sex isn't everything.

If a woman wants to have sex with you than you will know. There shouldn't be a guessing game involved.

If a woman were to play that game with me and expect me to guess whether or not she wanted to have sex than I would have to defer.. Less chance of looking like an a**hat.

Agreed. If one asked and she said 'no', I'd stop and ask. If she said 'no' again, I'd pack up and leave.

This thread makes me remember this guy:

What?!

I noticed sickoid.

Leisure Suit Larry. Back in the '80s. The quest of the game was to conquer as many women as possible by performing the right sequence of tasks.

Dude, that is just another way of saying the same manipulative, uneducated BS.

Avoiding a "charge" is not good reason to avoid doing what you want. You're obviously out for #1 which makes you a royal ass.

This is what turned the thread into a new direction. I think people are now concerned with your generous yet ambiguous friend zone status, plus she's got an ex that's still a problem (unless you were kidding about that) and ultimately, we dont want you to be just a transition for this girl.

I say no more kissing and hugging for free, she needs to make an honest man out of you.



I'm somewhat kidding, but also kinda serious.....but also kinda kidding.