How to use OKCupid (from an actual success story.)

Post Reply New Topic

I am not other people. They are not me. It is doubtful that anything you learn interacting with me would be applicable to other people other than 'patience is a virtue' but everyone knows that one already.

yes, those are manipulative behaviours, in addition to being time wasters. I am afraid I am very spoilt in regard to my time, more so than most people. For example, if I go to see a film in a cinema, and it's much worse than I allowed for in my 'worse case scenario', I get really really grumpy. I have no problem walking out actually, which can be really awkward if I have gone to the cinema with someone else who is more concerned with not being seen in a negative light for example.

And if I feel obligated to sit through the said film so as not to upset the people I am with - I will end up feeling really resentful of everyone in the party for making me waste my time. - btw, this is totally not cool and people should not copy it. I am not proud, I'm just faulty.

I understand the compulsion not to waste time. Are you sure there's not a guy out there who would agree with you on these things?

-or-

If you want to be assertive, maybe you should be looking for a more passive partner to balance things out.

It is difficult to carry this on, because you may misunderstand my intent (you may already have done so) and that's a shame. I'm sure you can relate to that feeling.

I think patience is great if one is going to live to 200, or is dealing with children.

It usually all boils down to one word.

I think I have learned something, so thank you very much.

No idea. I have a suspicion the answer is no, but who knows..

couldn't really cope with a passive partner, definitely not my cup of tea, trust me

erm.

Could you please do me a mahoooosive favour because I've had a bit of a weird day and almost a whole bottle of red wine to myself at this point?... could you please read that message of yours as if you were me and then tell me what the poet had meant when he wrote those words?

Well, after a bottle of red and a weird day, a self-confessed blind man attempting to be someone who he is not (kind of what you said) - I'm not sure that's a great idea. Can wait for another day, or the first of never, whatever.

Anyway. mahooooosive has got me thinking of that old Maynards Wine Gum adverts, and now I want a sodding wine gum. Grr.

I think a one reason why Okc worked so well for Geeko because he's of a category of weirdo which is common there: gypsy/neopagans/Trekie/magicians/gothic/artist/AnimeHair/tattoos/vampires... you got the point, for some reason those people are common on okc and they seek each other.

Me on the other hand, more like JM and Jono tbh, of the more 'boring' category of weird: the regular-looking, socially inept and typical nerd/geek who's into factual info more than fictions or whatsoever. Girls of that category are even more rare and from my exp they seek for extroverts to complete them.
With glasses I look typically geek too even tho I was called sporty without them.

Laid back, normal looking, no tattoos, no magic carpets, no snakes, no crazy hairstyle and cool facial hair. Nothing is too odd looking nor too "crazy" about us, too normal plus lack of NT social skills. Got my point?

This category isn't much desired by the other type of weirdos nor much by regular people because well... we're neither super hot nor serial travelers or riches with cool cars, overall we stand out less and belong to a less desirable breed on okc.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 16 Oct 2013, 5:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Now, how did you manage to get this in one year and I only managed to 1 6 month relationship plus 1 friendship in the 2 years since I've been on OKCupid?



I've done this. Funny how in my one thread where I was talking about having made friend with someone who I initially met on OKCupid, and who I was initially interested in dating, nobody believed that I was now just friends with her and thought I was just waiting another opportunity.



How do you really do this if you don't have a large social circle and don't socialise that much in the real world in the first place? Otherwise, I have already done as what is suggested by most of your other points and I haven't even had 1 single first date in the nearly 2 years since that 6 month long-distance relationship that I had ended (with someone who I also met on OKCupid). Yet, you have had 11 first dates in one year. What is the difference between our 2 cases?

Oh, I guess that's the difference.

Yes, it's a Fantasy/Arty Geeks/Weirdos versus Nerdy Geeks/Weirdos case, the former have larger female pool for some reason and women of general population generally like to talk things like astrology and halloween costumes... etc more than well... things like scientific studies or gadgets.

Jono,

Did you turn down really overweight women?

Also, if you posted your profile you could get different opinions from people on the matter.

I'm a bit hesitant to believe that geeko got those kind of numbers with the amount of time that he spends here on WP posting.

Anything is possible though, and he is definately not as strict with his standards as people like I am or FOB is probably.

There is no point to call geeko out about his dating numbers.

1. Because he won't prove it

2. Because it's really nothing to worry about anyway. Even if he is telling the truth everybody is different and has different standards.

I want to see geeko's profile.

The two things are not mutually exclusive, Boo. This is one of the things that irks me about the whole geek v nerd debate. In the end, none of us really fits completely under one or the other. The disconnect, as far as I can tell, seems to be more that women tend not to speak much of their scientific interests. I know I don't all that often. Not because I can't hold a conversation on a few of the subjects, but because I rarely find anyone capable of holding their own in one. I get tired of hearing myself speak while their eyes glaze over in disinterest or counter with opinions instead of fact, then pat me on the head (usually figuratively but sometimes literally ) as if I were a little girl wearing Mommy's high heels and lipstick.

I have had this problem many times with trying to talk to women. I end up without even wanting to doing most the talking. The women just could not come up with anything to talk about I had to keep bringing up topics. It is like people have just lost the ability to talk to others and think up conversations. Ya trying to talk about science things or whatever tends to make people go dumb mode pretty quickly they won't even try they just say oh wow you are smart then thats the end of it.

Last edited by Wafflemarine on 16 Oct 2013, 6:38 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I feel this way any time I speak about anything around men, specially at work . It's really annoying. It's like they are thinking - she will realise any minute now what her proper role is, I just have to wait a little bit longer.

gaaah.

Once again, you're different from most women.

Most women love talking about themselves. Maybe the men that you date don't ask good questions that are meaningful to you.