Why are strong women seen as the enemy?

Post Reply New Topic

The two cats from :47-2:02 are OOM and Starving im the orange cat at 2:09 in the back ground keeping my distance!

I got in a real cat fight yesterday you know. Read all about it in the Haven. With a real cat, and came out with the short end of the stick. Granted, I was just trying to pick her up and put her up high so the puppy would quit trying to make her play with him, but that's not how she saw it. Bad bite. I'm ok though now, or at least better. She's happy in her perch on the highest point in the room looking down on all she surveys like some kinda damn vulture though. (She's my mother's cat and was always mean, I inherited her)

Then my internet went out yesterday evening and we just now got it fixed, so I'm catching up on things. But, when I do catch up on things, I'll be happy to take my shoes off and tangle with you till the fur flies. I know I'll win, cause somebody as tacky as you could never win. I've heard from 8 different people that you wear white after Labor Day (NOT winter white!) and you were overheard in a very nice restaurant ordering "green beans with extra juice".

LOL, I'll do better when we start up at it, I promise. That popped into my head because of a discussion my daughter and I were having about what one of her teachers said lol. I thought it was funny, so there it is.

I may not be back in fighting form until tomorrow though. I wore myself out today while the internet was down, doing something I promise myself I'm going to do, all the time. I started on my plan to deep clean at least one room a week. I did the den. Oh boy! I did EVERYTHING. Usually when I'm not online much it's cause I'm busy or just don't want to get on, but I wanted to be on and it broke and I had made no alternative plans. But, I'm proud of myself. It looks FANTASTIC, and I used a new method of cleaning and polishing wood furniture. Homemade and works better than ANYTHING I've EVER bought in a store. If you want to know, let me know and I'll tell you about it. It's great! But I even washed knicknacks, organized books, drawers, vacumed the fireplace, cleaned the part of the ceiling fan ABOVE the blades even, and took the light globes off and washed them. I'm one pooped puppy, but happy as a pig in s**t that I did it. I'll probably hit the sack early tonight, after I sit here and chill and get my "internet fix".

I prefer strong women. I hate weak women. I define a weak woman as someone who won't stand up for herself, won't face problems, is passive-aggressive (whining instead of doing something to fix problems), expecting someone else to fix problems. Unfortunately, it seems a lot of women are socialized to be weak in the name of being "feminine".

I am a gender bender anyway, can't fit into either gender role and hate gender roles, so my views are probably far from what a typical man would say. Simply put--I refuse to take care of a woman. She needs to be able to take care of herself. If she can't, then she is not a woman. She is a girl in my mind. Adults take care of themselves. Little girls look for a man to save them.

Well, thats what you get for letting your assumptions get ahead of your jaws. You have no idea what I've been through or what my life has been like. Yes, I'm a housewife now, and my husband works and I stay home. I wasn't always a housewife you know, and I had a life before I married him too. Don't think that because I'm a housewife that he takes care of me and I have no worries. His "taking care of me" begins and ends with going to work. That's it. All the worries, responsibility, blame, burden, etc is on me. We also didn't always live in this small town. Years ago, there were times I worked and he stayed home. There have also been plenty of bad times and tough times where he didn't let a single thing in the world bother him and did nothing and sat back and waited for me to solve things.

You really shouldn't just decide that you know all about someone else's life simply because it's the only thing that makes sense to you, given their opinions. You really, really shouldn't declare it to the world that is how it is either, because it makes you look really silly when those who know the real story see how wrong you are about it.

You want to make an assumption about me, thats fine. I'll make one about you. I truly believe it too, and I'm going to say it. I think you may very well be in the top five of the people I've ran across in my life who just really, really, need to get laid.

I could be wrong, who knows. But it's my assumption, just like your's is yours.

Vicky, I haven't talked to you about your cancer, or really seen you mention it much. How's it going? What are they saying if you don't mind my asking. I have a friend who is a breast cancer survivor for about 12 years now. She had a double mastectomy with lymph involvement, and I know she did radiation and had such a horrible time with it that she actually got physical burns worse than what they expected. It was hell for her, and the docs weren't optimistic at all but she said she had to try, and she was lucky. You never know if you are in that lucky few or not until you try it.

I do so hope for the best for you. In fact, I'm going to light a candle for you tonight if you don't mind. Both a Catholic one to St Perigrine (patron Saint of cancer patients) and a hoodoo one to St Expedite (who can get anything done you want and isn't actually a Catholic Saint).

Me and Vicky are being humorous at each other some, and also chatting nicely some, and also just participating in the debate.

I'm also not mad at anybody at all in this thread, no matter how I come across in it. This is my argument mode. If any of us were in another thread talking about something we weren't arguing about, I would be nothing like this. It's not like a bipolar thing or anything, my moods don't change, just the way I come across changes to make points and sometimes back to back posts to try and keep up with the flow. Watch any of the cable news stations when they have a hot button issue with a split screen and people with very opposite viewpoints on there together and watch them go at each other. CNN lets them go the longest before they cut them off, I think. To me, these debates are that kind of thing. No, I'm no talking head on tv, nor as smart as one and nobody else here is a tv talking head either. I just happen to like that style of debate. Good thing I was never a hostage negotiator, huh? I'm just not good at the style of debate and argument that some others are. You'll see lots of different styles if you read through these threads. It's not just rabid barking dog vs. calm harp playing person explaining nicely and using their inside voice. We got them all in between too.

I really would hope that nobody takes anything in these debate threads to heart or feels that folks are mad at them because of it. Although, some people may be mad because of it, I can't say, but I know I'm not and I'd hope nobody else is either. I've had just vile arguments with people on here and turned around and they were nice as pie right after, and I was too, and neither of us had a hard feeling for the other. Of course some have hated me forever for an offhand comment or an opinion or something, but some people are like that.

Anyway, I do hope that people know that this is ABOUT THE TOPIC, and ABOUT THE OPINIONS, even when we do throw in personal type things. Hell, most of ya'll seem like nice enough people and I'd invite you to a cookout if you lived near, and I think it would be a blast as long as nobody talked about certain things until after enough booze had been served, to kind of chill everybody out and all.

Well thank goodness wet tshirt jello wrestling is off the table! I was so worried we would be forced into that.


They always use lime, ever notice that? Why not something good?

Lime.

Personally, I'm glad to see OOM is recovering from her cat bite and back in full form.

It's a sad thing, seeing a woman's head so taken over by macho guys' misogynistic hate speech. I'm serious, you really ought to take a look back through time to where you picked it up.

Having someone "begin and end by going to work" to take care of you is not a trivial thing. Really is not. And for you to sit there and talk about how tough and strong you are, and how weak others are, while those very women are looking after themselves and others without someone else's help...I think you better rethink that one. I am not saying that you do nothing. But I am saying that you're hardly in a position to call yourself Queen Toughie next to the people you're talking to. In fact I'd say you owe several people here apologies.

That's not what I'm saying or doing at all. You haven't understood a single word I've said, really. I'm not laying the fault with you and putting you down because of it. I don't know why you haven't, but you have not comprehended what I've been saying here. It's like I'm saying "I like vanilla ice cream" and it comes across to you like "Vanilla Ice got screwed over by his record company and I built a snowmobile out of sunflowers this afternoon". I mean it's THAT different, what I'm trying to get across and what you are receiving. You won't trust me when I tell you that what you are saying is not at all what I feel, mean, want to say, or believe, but that's how it is. I know of no other way to explain myself to you so you can see where I'm coming from, because I honestly don't think you can. I think you have one set idea in your head about me and that's that and no matter what I say you will see it as spin or something. That's not how it is at all. I'm just not going to try to explain it to you anymore. There really isn't any need to. It's not like this thing is going to work anyway, nor is it likely that you will actually try to listen with an open mind without automatically fitting everything I say into some compartment in a mental "Big Box O' Wrong Thinkers".

I give up. I do. With you, I give up. Not surrendering, not saying you're right, not even saying I ran out of points or arguments. Sometimes you just get tired of explaining the obvious over and over and over, even when that obvious is nothing more than "No, you are wrong about how I think/believe/am/act".

It honestly makes no nevermind to me. Think what you will. I've been thought of as worse by folks way more caught up in their own worldview than you.

I'm happy to part on this topic on a friendly note, and this is NOT a shot at you, I PROMISE, I really do hope that you can one day learn to listen to people as much as you just hear them. Either way, later tater.

yeah, because you told her she needed to get laid as a real helpful pointer, that was your intention, and not to shame or demean her or indicate that, as a hysterical overreacting type of woman, her problems could be solved by being f****d. suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.

you're right, that's not at all hateful and she just misunderstood your benevolent intentions with that helpful suggestion just meant to advise and inform her how to get her problems "fixed."

not only are you disingenuous, you won't even own the intentions behind what you say. that strikes me as pretty cowardly, especially coming from someone who so vehemently needs to convince everyone of their forever benevolence as well as how "tough" and "strong" they are. if you're going to sling poop at people, at least have the balls to own the poop you're slinging, tough gal.

maybe you'd actually toughen up if you got f****d good and properly. just a helpful suggestion.

Okay, I can't speak to any accusations with regard to OliveOilMom's toughness, but the above quote has led me to wonder where I fit on the hierarchy. I receive ODSP support payments for being to anxious and depressed to function. But, I don't rely on a man. So am I in any way tough. I'm thinking probably a "no?"

(Note to self: Next time I want to personally insult someone, use the word friendly in the same sentence...makes it easier to pretend I'm not a d*** afterward)

Again with the telling me what I meant. It was a sarcastic comment meant to convey two different ideas. 1. Maybe she would see a guy who she's only interested in sexually and enjoy herself if she pursued that and find out that it's not a degrading things, it's an enjoyable thing if mutually agreed on. and 2. Good sex sort of opens up everything in side you (I didn't mean that, don't be dirty lol) and when it's done right and proper you can let go and open up and just let yourself feel all kinds of things at once, good and bad, and even scream them out and it's cathartic. It can be like a great therapy session. It can be like a good cry if someone is the type to let it out that way. It can leave you feeling clean both emotionally and spiritually and free from baggage you didn't even know you had. I most certainly did not mean it as in the way certain guys say it like "Let me get hold of her and I'll show her what a real woman feels like and she will forget this nonsense". I for real meant it the way I explained it to you. Did it come across crude? Sure. But appearances can be deceiving. I'm not saying it would change her mind about her opinions. I'm not saying it would make her downplay her convictions. I'm saying it might just give her the chance to lose complete control, go into herself and just feel everything at once, seeing it from several angles, and to really give a loud voice in complete abandon to whatever she wants, feels, thinks, etc, knowing that it's perfectly accepted by the partner and also, I think she keeps herself under such tight control so much (I get that from reading her posts, that may just be her writing style and she's not intense and concentrated)that allowing yourself to lose control like that, and give someone else permission to take you to that place of total loss of control, rational thought, care, anything at all, might help open up some channels to allow herself to actually see and understand differences without feeling her own ideas threatened.

Needing to get laid is NOT a guy thing, although they talk about it more than we do. They need it for a different reason than we do. They want to get off and feed their ego, IMO. To me, I think it's a huge release for us, and not just in the orgasm, but in the letting go and forgetting everthing else part that leads up to it. Face it, an orgasm won't change anything for anybody. It's the trip to it that will, putting yourself in the hands of somebody you trust to take you there, and to not judge you no matter what you do or say or how you react after or during, and of course somebody who will stop on a dime if you get upset or it gets too intense. For me, it's a way to dig deep and bring out things and own them and let them go.It's a way to step back after and think about what I went through during it (and no, not just the dirty details, but the emotional and spiritual stuff). It's like a 50 mile hike through the desert, alone with your thoughts and nobody to hear you screaming them, and the more you walk, the deeper the thoughts and feelings that surface and you have to let them out. Except it's much more pleasant physically and emotionally, you aren't alone, and you have support. That's what it'slike for me when it's "need to get laid cathartic sex" for me. Unlike the "Oh God he shaved his head and left that goatee I like, the kids are grown and on their own for supper, he's coming to bed right now" which is just lust.

Do you see what I'm saying? It's an extreme way to go about it, but from what I read, I get that she is an extreme controller of herself and holds herself strictly to a certain standard that might just make her look over everything else. Not sex for sex sake, but great sex, for getting it all out, the good and the bad and the undecided sakes, to mull it over at her leisure.

See waht I'm saying? I do have a hard time getting my point across. I'm aware of it. I'm glad to explain it when asked. I do get ticked when people assume what I mean though. I'm not ticked now, I just know that you didn't get it like I meant it. Then again, most people wouldn't mean it that way so you are probably in the majority when you thought I did. But do you get it now? I based that off a feeling I got from her posts. That she just needs to let go and let emotions take her wherever they take her, ride it out, and then analyze it later on. Thats all.

And yeah, right now I wouldn't mind just getting the lustful kind. I'm 50, he's 50. His blood pressure makes it difficult. It's ok though with us right now. Sometimes just sleeping together with an arm around each other is as intimate for us. Although I do envy those my age, married this long who do throw down often.

So, please, if you don't see what I'm saying, please ask me. I'll gladly explain.

Thats because I know how to take an actual insult, and how to take a heat of the moment insult. And the difference between them. You get much less offended after learning the difference. I know I did.

Do I really need to repost that list of times you've personally insulted people? Cause I'm getting a little tired of the hypocrisy here, and it's a long list considering it's just times that I've observed and remembered.