Hardest thing for you related to relationships

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WantToHaveALife
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24 Nov 2014, 2:17 pm

I wonder where and how do most guys learn how to be successful initiators with women, do their fathers teach them or what?



NeueZiel
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24 Nov 2014, 3:56 pm

The hardest thing by far for me is letting go. I simply cannot do it.



Spiderpig
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24 Nov 2014, 6:57 pm

smudge wrote:
Spiderpig wrote:
In my limited experience, wanting to debate stuff in depth, caring for all sorts of philosophical nuances, and not accepting absolute and permanent truths makes you look untrustworthy and cowardly. This might be why most people steer clear of it.


I mean, how so?


Probably because the actual topic being discussed is seldom as important to neurotypicals as using it to show allegiance is.


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MXH
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24 Nov 2014, 8:56 pm

smudge wrote:
^^^ WHAT?

Ive found girls I've liked, but never found one that likes me back. Hell pretty much haven't found one I can say likes me for a relationship period



Sweetleaf
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24 Nov 2014, 9:04 pm

Probably keeping one and finding the right person, considering none of my relationships have worked out and some have been very short lived...don't think I've met the right person and thus have not been able to keep a relationship. I can say I only broke up with one guy I was dating back in highschool...but aside from that its been guys who break up with me, or just disappear like this one guy I thought I was getting along well with but out of the blue just didn't answer texts or anything and haven't heard from him since.

If I have ever met the right person than it was under the wrong circumstances and thus nothing came of it.


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starkid
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24 Nov 2014, 10:12 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
The hardest part for me is meeting the right person, because I look for people who are fairly similar to me in their mindset and that's hard to find.


What are you looking for?



yellowtamarin
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25 Nov 2014, 2:17 am

starkid wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
The hardest part for me is meeting the right person, because I look for people who are fairly similar to me in their mindset and that's hard to find.


What are you looking for?

You are essentially asking me "what is your mindset?" :P

I look for those who are rational & logical, not particularly emotional but will talk emotion when it's needed. That doesn't sound too hard to find so there's obviously a lot more to it than that. I have been told a number of times now that I am quite unique and recently I've started believing that that may actually be true, which is upsetting because I'd love to meet someone like me.



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25 Nov 2014, 2:50 am

i don't know how to get in one and don't know anything about them.



starkid
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25 Nov 2014, 9:30 pm

I've been thinking about this since yesterday; there are so many individual problems, I couldn't decide which was the "hardest."

Then I understood that the over-arching issue is that the entire social structure of the United States is warped, not suitable for mammals. Mammals live in small, closely-knit groups of mutual aid, not individually isolated among millions of competing strangers, or in isolated family units. This causes ALL my dating problems:

knowing enough information about people to select a potential mate
being in geographical proximity to a known pool of available mates
being on good enough terms with people to foster trust (rather than in competition with everyone)
having a support structure with which to cope when there is no mate
having people know me well enough to easily adapt to my "eccentricities"
etc.



em_tsuj
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25 Nov 2014, 9:51 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
starkid wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
The hardest part for me is meeting the right person, because I look for people who are fairly similar to me in their mindset and that's hard to find.


What are you looking for?

You are essentially asking me "what is your mindset?" :P

I look for those who are rational & logical, not particularly emotional but will talk emotion when it's needed. That doesn't sound too hard to find so there's obviously a lot more to it than that. I have been told a number of times now that I am quite unique and recently I've started believing that that may actually be true, which is upsetting because I'd love to meet someone like me.


Totally off-topic, but I love your new avatar.

More on the topic, I can relate to feeling too unique. I think you will find your match in time though, and so will I.



yellowtamarin
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26 Nov 2014, 2:31 am

^^ thanks to both :thumleft:



Moviefan2k4
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26 Nov 2014, 1:56 pm

The hardest thing for me right now is even approaching a woman. There's several reasons behind this, the main one being I'm scared of being hurt again. My only previous relationship ended very badly, with tons of pain for all involved. I really don't want to endure that again...but at the same time, singleness really sucks. The loneliness hurts the most for me, often stirring up emotions like anger, fear, and depression. Plus, there's the lack of intimacy, which would involve sex (after marriage) but includes so much more. I miss both holding a woman close, and being held by her. I also miss simple things like holding hands, kissing, taking short walks together, browsing bookstores, etc. My main mistake in the past was expecting another human being to fill the void in my heart completely, and I don't want to mess up like that again...but isolation's almost as bad, too. I can't even speak to a woman I find attractive, because I'm scared of rejection, and I wouldn't know what to say after the first few minutes.


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Cafeaulait
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26 Nov 2014, 3:45 pm

What makes a girl girlfriend material?



Spiderpig
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26 Nov 2014, 3:54 pm

Lemme guess. … Being too busy fending off unworthy suitors to worry about what makes her girlfriend material? :)


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Adam55
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26 Nov 2014, 4:37 pm

ive never had a girlfriend in my life, either because no one has ever been interested in me or because im clueless lol but mainly because i dont know how to speak to people.



Cafeaulait
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26 Nov 2014, 5:10 pm

Spiderpig wrote:
Lemme guess. … Being too busy fending off unworthy suitors to worry about what makes her girlfriend material? :)


Oh.. what can I do to make myself girlfriend material then?