Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,924
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
26 Jul 2015, 4:37 am
26 Jul 2015, 4:39 am
nurseangela wrote:
Jono wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
Spiderpig wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
So guys have trouble picking up a date....girls with their easy picking up of dates are more prone to rape, abuse, being taken advantage of for sex ect. all wonderful things the self identified 'forever alones' should be totally jealous of. Oh yeah geting unsolicitated hits on you from guys twice your age who only want sex is great....let me tell you, so much better than being single not 
Being always single and not by choice sucks. We heterosexual male foreveralones envy you because you are desired by a lot of people of the opposite sex, many more than you desire yourself, while we are in the opposite situation: we desire females, and they don't want to have anything to do with us.
Sweetleaf wrote:
I mean really what do you guys think it is we chicks get so easily, and as if you can go out just dressed in normal casual comfy dress and get a date.....no women are expected to have make up on, wear an outfit that compliments their figure, or use weird undergarmet items to make your body appear more appealing as in the hour glass shape.
And where do you think that pressure comes from? Certainly not from heterosexual male foreveralones---it's not like our tastes matter after all.
The usual complaint is that we like your bodies too much. You can't have it both ways: we like your body much more than what you wrap it in. If I were cuddling with a woman at a nice place, the last thing that would bother me is that she's wearing casual, comfy dress. Even a boilersuit à la 1984 wouldn't rob her of her femininity, especially if she hugged me tightly. And, if she put her legs on top of mine and let me play with her feet, I wouldn't care whether she was wearing stilettos.
Sweetleaf wrote:
Oh and its rude for a women to get offended by some street a** saying 'hey baby you're hot' when they are just trying to go about their buisiness......oh yes women have it so f*****g easy compared to men in all circumstances ever.
Well, I wish my problem were being too hot. But I don't think it's rude for you to get offended.
It would be great for women if all we were out for was sex, but that isn't the case. Women are looking to fill an emotional void and that is definitely harder to find in a person than a sex partner.
Hmm. Looking to fill an emotional void heh? Like not just sex but emotional support, sharing of interests etc? You, know, it's kind of funny because a lot of guys who have difficulty getting girlfriends want that too but we can't get that if we we can't find a girlfriend in the first place.
This why this is the kind of comment that irritates me most in this sub-forum. Whenever guys complain about being lonely and not being able to find a girlfriend and whenever this topic comes up, it's always assumed that it's because men are only after the sex and women are after the emotional support. So, when will people get it through thick skulls that this is necessarily the case. Good God.
Dude, that's all that's being talked about from guys like Boo - gotta have sex since we're so much like rabbits! And, "I'd have to end a relationship with a religious girl if I wasn't getting any sex for that reason." Don't hear nothing about feelings in those statements.
not being ok with 0 sex isnt' the same as a pure sex only relationship.
nurseangela wrote:
Spiderpig wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
Dude, that's all that's being talked about from guys like Boo - gotta have sex since we're so much like rabbits! And, "I'd have to end a relationship with a religious girl if I wasn't getting any sex for that reason." Don't hear nothing about feelings in those statements.
I'm afraid, at this point, you're blatantly distorting our words. Presumably, the "I'd have to end a relationship with a religious girl if I wasn't getting any sex for that reason" is about me. Well, I'd rather not get into that relationship in the first place. If she showed her true colors only later, then I'd leave her simply for deceiving me.
And The_Face_of_Boo's comment was criticizing rdos's dismissal of sexual compatibility by referring to the "good old days", in which a man didn't need his wife's consent to have sex with her. If you're asexual, of course sexual compatibility won't be an issue for you, but it is for the rest of us, and I'm not going to accept a sexually frustrating relationship. If I'm going to remain sexually frustrated, I'm better off staying single and free to look for someone truly compatible.
That's just it - it wasn't "the good old days" for the wife back then was it?
And I'm not going to stay with someone who can't fill my emotional void either so I guess we can all just stay single and right now I'm just fine with that. I'll just get my emotional needs filled by Waldo.
oh my gosh come on. it was a comparison to show the good old days weren't as good as some make them out to be, not a comment supporting rape. but a counter comparative to say the original comment was wrong. don't make it out to be more then it is.
26 Jul 2015, 4:42 am
26 Jul 2015, 4:44 am
Sweetleaf wrote:
Peacesells wrote:
rdos wrote:
It's kind of a fact that many women are physically abused by men. That has to do with men generally being stronger than women. Abuse by women usually is psychological, and is easier to get out of than physical abuse by a man.
Good points, Sweetleaf.
Good points, Sweetleaf.
It is also true that often a woman can hit a man without it being seen as abuse because she is physically weaker. Physical abuse is also psychological, so if someone is abused physicall he/she will be abused mentally too.
This being said I don't think any abuse is easier to get out of than the other. Sometime a person can break up the relationship as soon as he/she is hit for the first time, other times it can take way more. Depends on the person.
I don't think that any of the genders has it better than the other when it comes to dating (in normal conditions), nor I think one is, for his own nature, more abusive than the other.
I think that some guys on this forum are not good socially and can't reach out to other people and make friends/get relationships, and they think that it is easier for women. While it is true that generally it can be easier for a woman in the same condition, this is a special case. Most men/women don't have trouble getting relationships.
These guys on WP forget that their case is particular.
It just seems people forget females on the spectrum also have trouble reaching out to other people...I mean it almost feels like some guys here have spite towards females on the site, like its our fault they have trouble dating just because it so happens social norms for years have dictated its more normal for a guy to ask a girl out...so der since females aren't 'expected' to do the approaching a woman on the spectrum might have an easier time getting an initial date or having a guy come talk to them. That doesn't mean the guys going to be accepting once he finds out the woman is autistic or has any other conditions, he might lose interest and even insult her on top of it.
But then if a guy doesn't find a women initially attractive he is less likely to ask her out....and its seems for a woman to be deemed 'attractive' by the general populace they got to do a lot more work you know make up, doing something with their hair, getting prettied up a guy's just gotta run a comb through their hair, shave and maybe throw on some cologne and wear something clean. I also think part of the issue with many on the spectrum is not getting out much, I mean that is going to narrow down the pool of people you interact with.
I have dislike towards certain women on this site only because they say and think like all the nt women. its all in support of the system that makes men like me worthless and only point is to die.
i don't have any bad feelings towards the others who don't' support that system. als I was abused and I'm man. I can't even hit a woman yet they are free to hit me repeatedly
26 Jul 2015, 4:47 am
26 Jul 2015, 4:48 am
rdos wrote:
Jono wrote:
So? It can be difficult for some people to have a relationship without sex but it doesn't mean that they don't want the other things. Women want an emotional connection, men want an emotional connection. Men want sex, women want sex. So, I'm not seeing a lot of difference between the genders here.
Maybe you don't but I do. Asexuality occurs at twice the frequency in women compared to men. That means your statement "women want sex as much as men" is false. Not only that, but women often try to trade sex for favors, something that almost is impossible to do for a man. Also, asexuality occurs at 5 times higher frequency in neurodiversity compared to NTs. What this means is that it is a definite advantage being a asexual guy looking for a neurodiverse asexual girl.
yeah lets reopen the women don't like sex topic. wheres the gname guy I'm sure he'd agree with you.
26 Jul 2015, 4:49 am
26 Jul 2015, 4:53 am
Sweetleaf wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
The thing is, most men and women (not just WP members) do not really understand the other side's point-of-view, because they have never been in their shoes.
I hear many women tell the guys on this site to "buck it up", quit being so negative, and down on themselves, etc., when they complain about not being able to find a girlfriend, yet many of them have never been in a position, where they were rejected constantly. You can't imagine what this does to your self-esteem, and overall outlook on life. To me, this is a very insensitive thing to say, and shows a real lack of understanding on the woman's part.
And yes, I can totally understand about not wanting to get hit on all the time, especially from people you aren't interested in, but according to many women (not all), it is the guy's job to do the initiating. So tell me, if guys are supposed to be the initiators, how are they supposed to "do their job", if they aren't allowed to show any interest in anybody?
I hear many women tell the guys on this site to "buck it up", quit being so negative, and down on themselves, etc., when they complain about not being able to find a girlfriend, yet many of them have never been in a position, where they were rejected constantly. You can't imagine what this does to your self-esteem, and overall outlook on life. To me, this is a very insensitive thing to say, and shows a real lack of understanding on the woman's part.
And yes, I can totally understand about not wanting to get hit on all the time, especially from people you aren't interested in, but according to many women (not all), it is the guy's job to do the initiating. So tell me, if guys are supposed to be the initiators, how are they supposed to "do their job", if they aren't allowed to show any interest in anybody?
It is not an issue for guys to show interest in females....but honking a horn and screaming 'oh hey sexy' from a car whilst driving by is not a good way to initiate a relationship with a woman for instance. Coming off as though all you're focused on is potential 'sex' isn't a good idea unless you're in a setting where women are there to get sex to...I mean like at some crazy party of a club then its acceptable to to approach women to 'pick up' not that it will become a long lasting relationship maybe just a one night stand. But say there's a women having a coffee at a coffee shop and a guy wants to approach her...best thing would be to start a conversation not just up and start hitting on them. I even know I have heard guys say they dislike it if a girl comes up and just starts fawning over them like 'omg you're hot' in a normal social setting as a means to try and get a date. Now in a setting people are making a point to be 'sexy' then the above mentioned is not so weird at least based on my observations.
But yes just like a women who hasn't faced multiple rejections won't understand fully what it is like to be a guy in that position....a guy who's never had a relationship cannot possibly entirely understand what its like to get into a crappy relationship or be used for sex under the guise of thinking your with someone who really cares for you. So no point in one claiming to have it worse if you have not experienced the thing you say its worse than. If that makes sense.
talk about sex and you make her think you only care about sex. don't talk about sex and you make her feel you don't find her attracitve. its a no win situation how do you balance that.
I like sex. but I have to pretend I don't but then that pissed women off to. if i be open about it they get upset. it lunacy. while I may not been in a bad official relationship I have been abused by female friends and hurt by potential relationship girls. the only time I had sex I felt used for it. she said she wanted to be my friend but it wasn't true. left me with anxiety and fear.
26 Jul 2015, 6:18 am
26 Jul 2015, 6:59 am
26 Jul 2015, 7:08 am
26 Jul 2015, 7:41 am
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,095
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
26 Jul 2015, 7:48 am
nurseangela wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
rdos wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
she never even had any horny moments or sexual thoughts while being with me all during this time, so I would assume she doesn't even find me attractive enough to turn her on.
What's the problem? Back in the good old days, people got children even if they got matched by relatives and didn't even fancy each others. Human reproduction is not that fragile you know.
Back in the 'good' old days, marital rape wasn't even considered a crime. Just saying.
What???! ! ! I don't even know what to say to that.
You clearly have interpretation problems; I was stating a fact and criticizing what he is calling old good days.
An enforced marriage on a woman, which was common in the old days; means that she will have sex with someone she doesn't even fancy - that's enforced sex, aka rape.
And the laws back then didn't even consider these situations; as long the woman is formally married to the man, he could do anything (enforced) sexual to her without being punished for.
I don't have interpretation problems, Boo. The "just saying" part says it all. And the "good" in front of "old days" also says all I need to know what you meant.
I am still not sure if you understood; are you accusing me of promoting rape?
The "good" before the old days is a sarcastic good because rdos is the one who called them good old days. I WAS MOCKING THE USE Of the WORD GOOD by rdos.
I was saying that arranged and enforced marriages back in the old days were BAD because they did certainly lead to enforced and non-consent sex in many instanced back then; and it was often the woman who was on the enforced side.
And the married woman was not protected by the law at all, it was against her.
Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 26 Jul 2015, 7:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
26 Jul 2015, 7:56 am
26 Jul 2015, 7:56 am
rdos wrote:
Jono wrote:
So? It can be difficult for some people to have a relationship without sex but it doesn't mean that they don't want the other things. Women want an emotional connection, men want an emotional connection. Men want sex, women want sex. So, I'm not seeing a lot of difference between the genders here.
Maybe you don't but I do. Asexuality occurs at twice the frequency in women compared to men. That means your statement "women want sex as much as men" is false. Not only that, but women often try to trade sex for favors, something that almost is impossible to do for a man. Also, asexuality occurs at 5 times higher frequency in neurodiversity compared to NTs. What this means is that it is a definite advantage being a asexual guy looking for a neurodiverse asexual girl.
I've never seen any statistics suggesting that women are more likely to be asexual than men and either way it's not relevant because the majority of all people are sexual anyway. Asexuals are a minority in both genders. In any case, it's not even relevant to the discussion because my objection was against people who assume that if someone does talk about wanting sex in a relationship or consider it important, then that's all they want which is not the case at all. In fact, I wonder if those people have even considered the fact that sex itself can be a form of emotional bonding (for sexual people at least).
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,095
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
26 Jul 2015, 8:02 am
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