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pof is another pathetic site.

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MissyManny
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11 Oct 2015, 7:35 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
SwissPagan wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
darkphantomx1 wrote:
Why OkCupid and POF sucks
1. Too many whales

2. Only whales are interested in you

3. Whenever you do talk to pretty girls, they don't reply.

4. If you're short like me, you're f****d.

5. If you go on a date and you're short like me you're f****d.

6. Don't even f*****g bother if you're ugly like me, you stand no chance!

7. Don't even bother if your social skills suck, you stand no chance!

8. You're a guy out of 100 guys fighting for 1 woman.


So women who aren't skinny are automatically not dating material in your eyes? Yet you are complaining about women being picky about male appearances.


well, I think fitness equivalent isn't an unreasonable request...
I agree, when you're a fit and handsome guy, it's not good when you can only get dates from unhealthy women who are morbidly obese. That was me for a while.


IF being the operative word.

IF also applies to other criteria besides looks/fitness, like education and employment status.



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11 Oct 2015, 10:40 am

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
The paid sites aren't much better: usually a higher class of people and a higher ratio of women but my God they were frustrating to deal with. Almost all of them were clones too: almost all 15-20 I dated worked as either Nurses or Teachers.

If those are not the kind of people you'd want to meet then it's obviously going to be frustrating.
The obvious issue with paid sites (and the paid extras of 'free' sites) is that you can have little idea what you are actually buying.



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11 Oct 2015, 10:50 am

Phemto wrote:
I'd love to create a sight that openly states the M/F ratio in your area, and automatically adjusts the membership rate to keep it as close to 1/1 as possible. Maybe I'll have the time some day.

The 'your area' bit is not that simple in practice. Where someone could sensibly travel can be very much an individual thing.
Typically most dating sites arn't even as sophisticated as to use latitude and longitude to work out distances. Never mind accurate maps...



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11 Oct 2015, 1:56 pm

beakybird wrote:
As an interesting side note, when I was doing this online dating stuff it was when eHarmony first came out. I was attracted to their advertisements regarding deeper connections so I wanted to try. It was free so I figured what the heck. Go to the site. It says, complete the test, fill out your info and at the end we'll show you who of our however many thousand people they said they had that match. Ok, I thought. The personality thing was LONG, took like 45 min. As Im doing it I'm thinking, ah this should produce good results at least, very detailed. After I was done, would you believe the thing told me there was literally no one in their entire database that matched me? Not one female! Talk about a kick in the balls! Not a self-esteem builder at all.


I had exactly the same experience with eHarmony. What I suspect may have been the dealbreaker questions were near the end.



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11 Oct 2015, 2:34 pm

Post messed up by website error. See below post.



Last edited by CommanderKeen on 11 Oct 2015, 2:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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11 Oct 2015, 2:35 pm

I do agree with you that my standards are actually unrealistic for the area in which I live. My standards being, having mutual interest, sharing the same sense of morality, expecting honesty and if I start dating them, expecting them to be faithful. 90% of the women I get matched with on okcupid I find attractive physically, however 95% of them I have nothing in common with and nothing really comes of the other 5%. My standards aree only unrealistic, because of the area in which I live and the women in my area whom are generally on sites like okcupid. That being said, obviously everyone can have their on standards. What I was referring to is how it's socially acceptable for women to have high standards, but it's not socially acceptable for men to have standards. Think about all the meme "All women are beautiful." There are no slogans such as "All men are beautiful." It's socially acceptable for women to want a man to have a car, a high paying job, to be a certain height, to have a certain physical appearance; however it's not socially acceptable for a man to want a woman who isn't obese, because "All women are beautiful." That being stated, I am physically attracted to petite women all the way to busty/curvy women. I'm not attracted to women that look like Honey Boo boo's mother though.



MissyManny
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11 Oct 2015, 2:49 pm

CommanderKeen wrote:
I do agree with you that my standards are actually unrealistic for the area in which I live. My standards being, having mutual interest, sharing the same sense of morality, expecting honesty and if I start dating them, expecting them to be faithful. 90% of the women I get matched with on okcupid I find attractive physically, however 95% of them I have nothing in common with and nothing really comes of the other 5%. My standards aree only unrealistic, because of the area in which I live and the women in my area whom are generally on sites like okcupid. That being said, obviously everyone can have their on standards. What I was referring to is how it's socially acceptable for women to have high standards, but it's not socially acceptable for men to have standards. Think about all the meme "All women are beautiful." There are no slogans such as "All men are beautiful." It's socially acceptable for women to want a man to have a car, a high paying job, to be a certain height, to have a certain physical appearance; however it's not socially acceptable for a man to want a woman who isn't obese, because "All women are beautiful." That being stated, I am physically attracted to petite women all the way to busty/curvy women. I'm not attracted to women that look like Honey Boo boo's mother though.


Same deal with men. The unreasonable expectations thing kicks in when an unphysically attractive, unfit man expects super pretty, super fit women to date them and feels it's unfair if they don't (or mostly don't). But now I've a question for you.

Do you think that a woman who has a degree, car, house and good job is being unreasonable for expecting any man she dates to have the same? To screen out the living-with-mommy-at-25+years-old man or makes-minimum-wage-for-20-hours-a-week-not-looking-for-a-better-job man from her POF or OKC matches?



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11 Oct 2015, 3:07 pm

MissyManny wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
I do agree with you that my standards are actually unrealistic for the area in which I live. My standards being, having mutual interest, sharing the same sense of morality, expecting honesty and if I start dating them, expecting them to be faithful. 90% of the women I get matched with on okcupid I find attractive physically, however 95% of them I have nothing in common with and nothing really comes of the other 5%. My standards aree only unrealistic, because of the area in which I live and the women in my area whom are generally on sites like okcupid. That being said, obviously everyone can have their on standards. What I was referring to is how it's socially acceptable for women to have high standards, but it's not socially acceptable for men to have standards. Think about all the meme "All women are beautiful." There are no slogans such as "All men are beautiful." It's socially acceptable for women to want a man to have a car, a high paying job, to be a certain height, to have a certain physical appearance; however it's not socially acceptable for a man to want a woman who isn't obese, because "All women are beautiful." That being stated, I am physically attracted to petite women all the way to busty/curvy women. I'm not attracted to women that look like Honey Boo boo's mother though.


Same deal with men. The unreasonable expectations thing kicks in when an unphysically attractive, unfit man expects super pretty, super fit women to date them and feels it's unfair if they don't (or mostly don't). But now I've a question for you.

Do you think that a woman who has a degree, car, house and good job is being unreasonable for expecting any man she dates to have the same? To screen out the living-with-mommy-at-25+years-old man or makes-minimum-wage-for-20-hours-a-week-not-looking-for-a-better-job man from her POF or OKC matches?

You're still implying that I'm only interested in women who are 10% bodyfat. I've talked to women who live on their own, who live at home, who drive, who don't drive. I've had plenty of women whom I've dated and met online, but never on dating sites. Myspace was the best dating site ever, sadly it's not around anymore.



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11 Oct 2015, 3:36 pm

CommanderKeen wrote:
MissyManny wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
I do agree with you that my standards are actually unrealistic for the area in which I live. My standards being, having mutual interest, sharing the same sense of morality, expecting honesty and if I start dating them, expecting them to be faithful. 90% of the women I get matched with on okcupid I find attractive physically, however 95% of them I have nothing in common with and nothing really comes of the other 5%. My standards aree only unrealistic, because of the area in which I live and the women in my area whom are generally on sites like okcupid. That being said, obviously everyone can have their on standards. What I was referring to is how it's socially acceptable for women to have high standards, but it's not socially acceptable for men to have standards. Think about all the meme "All women are beautiful." There are no slogans such as "All men are beautiful." It's socially acceptable for women to want a man to have a car, a high paying job, to be a certain height, to have a certain physical appearance; however it's not socially acceptable for a man to want a woman who isn't obese, because "All women are beautiful." That being stated, I am physically attracted to petite women all the way to busty/curvy women. I'm not attracted to women that look like Honey Boo boo's mother though.


Same deal with men. The unreasonable expectations thing kicks in when an unphysically attractive, unfit man expects super pretty, super fit women to date them and feels it's unfair if they don't (or mostly don't). But now I've a question for you.

Do you think that a woman who has a degree, car, house and good job is being unreasonable for expecting any man she dates to have the same? To screen out the living-with-mommy-at-25+years-old man or makes-minimum-wage-for-20-hours-a-week-not-looking-for-a-better-job man from her POF or OKC matches?

You're still implying that I'm only interested in women who are 10% bodyfat. I've talked to women who live on their own, who live at home, who drive, who don't drive. I've had plenty of women whom I've dated and met online, but never on dating sites. Myspace was the best dating site ever, sadly it's not around anymore.


The question, the general philosophical one, hasn't been answered.



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11 Oct 2015, 3:51 pm

ForRetail wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
MissyManny wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
I do agree with you that my standards are actually unrealistic for the area in which I live. My standards being, having mutual interest, sharing the same sense of morality, expecting honesty and if I start dating them, expecting them to be faithful. 90% of the women I get matched with on okcupid I find attractive physically, however 95% of them I have nothing in common with and nothing really comes of the other 5%. My standards aree only unrealistic, because of the area in which I live and the women in my area whom are generally on sites like okcupid. That being said, obviously everyone can have their on standards. What I was referring to is how it's socially acceptable for women to have high standards, but it's not socially acceptable for men to have standards. Think about all the meme "All women are beautiful." There are no slogans such as "All men are beautiful." It's socially acceptable for women to want a man to have a car, a high paying job, to be a certain height, to have a certain physical appearance; however it's not socially acceptable for a man to want a woman who isn't obese, because "All women are beautiful." That being stated, I am physically attracted to petite women all the way to busty/curvy women. I'm not attracted to women that look like Honey Boo boo's mother though.


Same deal with men. The unreasonable expectations thing kicks in when an unphysically attractive, unfit man expects super pretty, super fit women to date them and feels it's unfair if they don't (or mostly don't). But now I've a question for you.

Do you think that a woman who has a degree, car, house and good job is being unreasonable for expecting any man she dates to have the same? To screen out the living-with-mommy-at-25+years-old man or makes-minimum-wage-for-20-hours-a-week-not-looking-for-a-better-job man from her POF or OKC matches?

You're still implying that I'm only interested in women who are 10% bodyfat. I've talked to women who live on their own, who live at home, who drive, who don't drive. I've had plenty of women whom I've dated and met online, but never on dating sites. Myspace was the best dating site ever, sadly it's not around anymore.


The question, the general philosophical one, hasn't been answered.

You created your account today and you have one post? MissyManny created her account yesterday and she has 7 posts. I am starting to see a pattern. Why would this be the first thread you post on?



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11 Oct 2015, 4:35 pm

It's a worthwhile question. You and many of this men are advocating for a double standard. Namely, that women with degrees and good jobs who decline to date men who lack degrees/good jobs are gold diggers and super-picky and evil, but it's perfectly fine for no degree/no job/job only a few hours a week for minimum wage to be OUTRAGED that women wth degrees/good jobs will not give them the time of day.

What gives?



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11 Oct 2015, 4:45 pm

i can't seem to win on any of these sites.

i tried okcupid for a few years. constantly got ignored. not even a "sorry, you are not what i am looking for.". just no messages whatsoever for the most part. (i did occationally get messages, but the conversations never lasted more than a day. they would usually end in them telling me they will message me later and never do, and then any of my messages in an attempt to get the conversation back are just ignored)

i did briefly try the plenty of fish during my okcupid time, but there were the exact same people on there that were reject/ignoring me on okcupid!

eventually i got fed up and "ragequitted" after like 5 years of this.

i am not sure what to do now. i still "crave" romance and companionship, but i am skeptical about trying new dating sites.


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11 Oct 2015, 4:50 pm

ForRetail wrote:
It's a worthwhile question. You and many of this men are advocating for a double standard. Namely, that women with degrees and good jobs who decline to date men who lack degrees/good jobs are gold diggers and super-picky and evil, but it's perfectly fine for no degree/no job/job only a few hours a week for minimum wage to be OUTRAGED that women wth degrees/good jobs will not give them the time of day.

What gives?

When did I ever state that? I explicitly stated that everyone has a right to have their own standards. You keep trying to generalize and put words in my mouth. I do like that fact that you didn't even acknowledge my last post, implying that you are in fact using two accounts. If you spend your time making multiple accounts just to try and put words in peoples mouths to fit your own agenda, that's really quite sad. I can tell you have severe OCD. I think you should take a break from this site and do something else for awhile.



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11 Oct 2015, 7:48 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
autismthinker21 wrote:
Still doesn't explain how women have it better at dating than men. Still not answered. Pretty sad that there is discrimination going on in the dating world.


Like others have said, males outnumber females on those sites by a wide margin.

For example:

The male/female ratio is 10:1

Each male has to compete with 10 other guys for 1 girl. Out of the 10, 9 of them are going to get rejected, ignored, or ghosted.

Each woman has 10x the number of chances to get a date than men do. Although they get more chances to get a date, they also get more "unacceptable" offers, and many get overwhelmed with all of the messages.


You're making this far too technical and mathmatical....I mean for one that is assuming each 1 girl actually has 10 males interested in her. In my personal experience I haven't had guys 'fighting' over me I'd get maybe a couple messeges every couple of weeks if that and usually they were spammy or really short and screamed 'I just want a sex hook up'. But few and between I'd get interesting messages and respond...sometimes the guy would eventually just stop messaging without expressing any desire to meet in person.

I Have met 5 guys from there in person two who I dated ended it with me once it started getting serious. I 'hooked up' with one but I thought he was actually into me specifically, he wasn't very direct about his intentions till after we had sex a few times. Then one I met once and we watched a movie at his house then he took me home and never contacted me again. Then finally the last one who I am still dating and we aren't planning to break up anytime soon....but yeah a total of 5 guys is all I've met so doesn't give the impression that there have ever been 10 people trying to get with me specifically at once on okcupid. Maybe more conventionally attractive 'normal' sort of women get a lot more hits to choose from.


First of all, I was just giving an example, in order to give people an idea what the problem was with those sites. Also, you can never get accurate statistics, because there are just too many variables.

So, basically what I am saying is, when there are more guys than girls on those sites, girls will have an advantage, because of the simple fact that there are more guys to choose from. This doesn't necessarily mean that they will get more dates, it just means that they will have a bigger selection, and less competition for the same person. Guys are the opposite...they have a smaller selection, with more competition.



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12 Oct 2015, 10:09 am

ForRetail wrote:
Do you think that a woman who has a degree, car, house and good job is being unreasonable for expecting any man she dates to have the same?
Damn it that's my problem. All the girls have a degree and I don't.


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12 Oct 2015, 11:13 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
ForRetail wrote:
Do you think that a woman who has a degree, car, house and good job is being unreasonable for expecting any man she dates to have the same?
Damn it that's my problem. All the girls have a degree and I don't.

I wouldn't even feed into her comments. She obviously has her own agenda.