Sad i don't have a sweetheart

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I'm curious, what exactly are "B-Class women"?

I can relate to the OP in being around his age and never had a relationship before

Not thin.

Factually incorrect. There will always be someone more attractive, charismatic, virtuous, etc than your partner (maybe not all at once). Nobody finds the 'perfect partner' because no such thing exists.

What people do is find someone whom pertains enough good qualities to satisfy them as a romantic partner. The only way in which their partner is 'perfect' is in that they want to be with their partner and their partner wants to be with them, and that desire never permanently ceases from either side.

The pursuit of perfection is a futile escapade. You can only get as good as you give in terms of partners.

Sigh. Not having a perfect partner is just as painful as dealing with my own imperfect.

Same thing really, as having an imperfect partner makes me imperfect by association.

That's what I tell myself. Maybe I have issues. GF suggested I go on antidepressants.

No you don't

Did you not read my post at all?

Perfection doesn't exist.

It sometimes seems to. I see people who seem perfect. They have perfect looks, perfect lives and perfect partners. They time off their perfectly gruelling jobs to go on perfect holidays. They live in perfect houses in perfectly posh neighbourhoods. Perfectly educated they go on to to demonstrate perfect intelligence and perfect work-ethic in the most enviously difficult jobs. In spite of their long work hours they still have enough time and energy for perfect hobbies and perfect social lives. They never need rest.

My cousins are like that. They seem to be flawless and I hate them for it. They get straight As and grad degrees and go on to upper middle class jobs and unlike me they never get fat.

Perfect girls? They're everywhere. As I walked through the city from work to the clinic I passed by two dozen perfect girls. Perfectly thin they show their narrow waists and perfect smiles. Have you seen them? Have you seem women who look like that? Thousands of them in every city? So how can you say no one is perfect?

The worst part of it is that I feel like society expects us all to be perfect. Make one small mistake and you're liable for litigation. Because we're never supposed to make a mistake. Make one wrong move and you're unemployable. Our employers expect us to be perfect.

Those people AREN'T perfect though, just massively successful and unaware of just how privileged their upbringing was, while others struggle to make ends meet or were simply born from poverty or a more troubled background.

As well as being an aspie, I'm from a lower-middle class background, and a family heavy in drug abuse, high school dropouts, and just plain psyhopathic bogan/rednecks.

I am one of the most successful members of my family, and all I had to do was graduate high school, along with doing volunteer work, as only about 2 or 3 people in my entire family have graduated high school, and very few work jobs.

This 'perfection' debate reminds me of a previous debate in the L&D section where the majority suggested you should NEVER go for someone out of your so-called 'league'.

I disagreed, in saying no one should have to lower their reasonable standards when we know we could do better.

A woman at the same 'league' as me would be one from the same background - lower middle class and bordering on poverty. But I find most women I meet from this type of background are what I can only describe as 'undesirables'.

I workout, have good hygiene, spend a lot of time on my hobbies and interests and are quite skilful at them, do volunteer work, and generally a confident, charismatic guy, but my first girlfriend had no ambition in life, jobless, out-of-shape, didn't take care of her hygiene at all and was actually very disgusting for a female (spit all the time without caring, etc.) was 'boring' (no hobbies or interests) to me...

I don't seek perfection, but no one should have to settle for less just because the other person is deemed by society to be in your 'league'.

I'm different to most of my family, but still get attention from the undesirables.

I'm just lucky I can pass as 'normal'/of a higher 'social status', so I also get attention from more attractive and successful people. When with family, though, the kind of looks and judgementel attitude placed onto them and by association onto me, makes it harder to live life without being judged harshly by women I might actually be a great guy for.

I actually agree with RetroGamer's 'social status' thing.

For my best friends are also conventionally unattractive, in that they are out of shape, dress extremely unfashionably, may even wear old or already dirty clothes, don't take care of their appearance or hygiene at all. They walk a little odd, having Asperger's or ADHD themselves.

My best friend has the typical neckbeard fedora man look, and a cold facial expression that others may deem 'creepy'.

Likewise, my uncle is like 6 foot 5 or something and very large and strong, and he is no gentle giant either but actually is aggressive if you tick him off. He could potentially look a bit threatening when I'm with him.

As much as I am proud to be friends with them and try not to care what others think, we still clearly get looks or judged in a way by 'the normals' that might make them deem us 'undesirables'.

This makes me feel my style would be 'cramped' if I were to come across girls my age. It has been suggested I just ignore people who judge me for who I'm friends with and just 'f*ck 'em', but like RetroGamer I can see why it would be hard to do just that.

I agree with you, except you can't know how good or bad someone's upbringing was just by looking at how successful they've become. A person who seems like they have it all could actually have suffered an abusive childhood, or may be doing their best to mask the emotional turmoil they're suffering through every day. Perhaps they had to make a hefty sacrifice to get where they are today. It's impossible to know just from observing them.



Like I said, maybe that's how it looks as an outsider, but being perfect would mean being the best at everything. I believe what you mean to say is that there are some extremely desirable people who exude a high sexual market value, but to say these people are flawless would be a gross misconception.

If what you're getting at is you want to pursue the women with very high sexual market values, you're going to be competing with the majority of males, so you would have to demonstrate a high male sexual market value to outdo your competitors. If you want a 10/10 model with a fantastic job, staggering intellect and engaging hobbies, you'd best make sure that you look like a Ken doll, make six figures a year, match her intellect and partake in equally interesting hobbies, or at least demonstrate sexual market value of an equal calibre to her.


You can go for whatever kind of person you want, but you're really going to struggle if you set the bar higher than you can jump, so-to-speak


If you can do better, there's no good reason to lower your standards. But by the same token, even if you have reasonable standards when it comes to looking for a mate, it's good practice to look at yourself and say "well, would a person with x, y and z qualities be interested in a person with my qualities? Or are they able to do better than me?"

For example, if you're a 4/10 by mainstream beauty standards, and you want to date an 8/10, you're going to struggle, unless you can offer value in other ways e.g. with a high-paying job and lavish lifestyle.


Financial status isn't the sole determinant of your 'league'.


These things elevate your 'league'.


Society shouldn't get in the way if two people want to be together, but by the same token, the whole concept of leagues is to rank people in order of their desirability.

If you're severely overweight, unemployed and still living with your parents at 30, a person who takes their fitness seriously, is raking in loads of cash from a high-paying job and is living in an expensive house would be considered out of your league. That doesn't necessarily mean that the two people in this example could not or would not get together under any circumstances, but the odds are very heavily stacked against the first person. If you can attract physically attractive people with high-paying jobs, why would you need to consider dating a physically unattractive person who's receiving unemployment cheques? The only way you would feasibly do that is if they offer very significant value in other ways.

Yes, thank you.

Many people around the world are fat and they still get married, are you saying that their partners are failing at life or can't be viewed as successful.
No, you are just saying stuff to try legitimating your "views". You complain about how you should get someone better but it looks like she's the one who should get someone better.

Sure, because a girl's desiderability depends on her financial status...

I don't think that's what he's implying. I believe he's simply stating that from what he's observed, many women who share his economic status tend to fall into the undesirable category. Not solely because of their economic status, but possibly because it's more difficult for them to take care of their appearance with fewer resources, thus making them less desirable.

Sounds shallow to me, and perhaps a bit silly.

Dude, he's simply picking up on a trend he observed. I was just inferring a possible reason for it.

Obviously it's not going to ring true 100% of the time, and it may be more the case where he is than where you are, but to dismiss a pattern as silly without providing evidence to contradict it is silly in itself.

Yeah I bet in his area poor girls are bad and wealthy girls are good.