"You'll find love when you stop looking for it."

Post Reply New Topic

The twirling became annoying.

I liked it when you posted Wily E. Coyote and that sheepdog. Remember?

I remember.

I really got a kick out of that!

I hope you're not sad today.

Thanks marshall, I believe you have the right idea here.

I am depressed and in a boring city. There really is nothing else for me to focus on. I don't want to over-complicate the issue with some psychological B.S. The simple answer is, I'm lonely, clearly focusing on everything I can to be happy by myself, and it's not working. To add insult to injury, it's only a few hours from the state capital, and the coast/a major tourist spot. So I can visit those places sometimes, but not as often as my family and I would like.

It's where my family want to go within the next 6 months: One of the quieter spots on the coast but still close enough to the major hubs.

It's definitely the ideal place for someone entering the late teens/early 20's age - the beach, surf, good nightlife and beautiful coast, and plenty of theatres, events, meetup groups, music scene, job/study opportunities, etc. in capital city, best of both worlds.

"Well that makes sense, I don't like going out alone so much either...I've forced myself(which hasn't always ended well) but yeah I spend a lot more time at home when I am single and no one is available to go anywhere. I am on disability so I also don't have a job to interact with anyone at."

I volunteer two days a week and working on getting on the disability anyway as I'm still technically eligible for disability. Otherwise I do the same.

I have no reason whatsoever to leave the house for any reason, and there usually never is any reason because as said, this is a boring place and I'm still under 18 so I don't have access to bars and such.

I forced myself to go to the shopping centre just to waste my cash on some games. I like the games but I can't do that all the time just to leave the house. I'm also thinking of going to the library/bookstore on weekends when it's possible people my age MAY or may not be there even if I can just order every single book I've ever wanted online...

"The only way I got a boyfriend was with the okcupid dating site, hypothetically one can find someone to meet from the comfort of their room...just so long as they're willing to go out and meet the person."

Good for you. I, however, hate online dating and no interest in online friendships and only use the internet for acquaintances or continued contact with real life friends. Teen dating sites aren't ideal - too buggy and empty. I asked one girl out on a date but she lives a few towns over. I don't think I'd like adult ones either.

"I guess I was more thinking if someone spends most their time in their room and is more unwilling to change that for whatever reason, then a relationship could become stagnant real quick. But I certainly understand being at home because there's no one to go anywhere with, especially wanting to go to an event and just not going because I know it will suck going by myself...and also knowing should that be the case I might drink a little too much and make an ass of myself because I'm pissed off that it sucks being out alone."

It really, really does seem to.

Me, I almost can't go out alone, at least in this city, because I feel unsafe. My agoraphobia means I can only go out with at least one other person, a family member or friend. It's not like I need them for anything - I can function perfectly fine on my own and they don't have to do anything for me I can't do myself. Just their actual prescence though makes me feel safe and secure. Even in broad daylight, public places, etc. anxiety is quite high as people are very rude and highcrime rate in this city.

I've always hated that phrase

I can honestly say, because of my anxiety, I know how women must feel.

I feel extremely anxious just going to the shops alone, a short distance away, as I genuinely feel unsafe.

As a kid/teenager/high school student, it was fine, because i was 'just a kid' and, while responsible for my actions, I had that shield of 'he doesn't know any better' or 'he's only young'.

Now I'm approaching adulthood and am a high school graduate, and reaching the age where I have to enter the adult world.

It feels like absolute sh*t being a male, but being one with anxiety.

Women can obviously get help whenever they feel uncomfortable/unsafe, whether it be at a bar/nightclub, on a plane/train, anywhere really.

Me, a soon-to-be 18 year old male, of normal/decent fitness level, walking up to a security guard saying 'those men over there are making me feel very unsafe, and I feel like they might try and rob or hurt me. I need help' sounds like me being a whiny little p*55y.

People expect me to have a back-spine, to fend for myself first, seeking help second.

Which is what I'm trying to do, but struggling with considering I spend all my time in my room sheltered from the real world. I'd be going out and doing things more if I actually had any reason to be, and if I was actually in a safer place.

Men and women should be viewed equally on the matter, many people are ignorant on the topic unless they have experienced it for themselves. It is easy for people to judge in hindsight without understanding them first, it doesn't require any empathy.

I hate that society has this view that vulnerability is a weakness, it isn't. It is a strength for men to be open emotionally, there is no shame in it.

Thank you for the helpful words.

I'm not exactly a super sensitive male.

I can fend for myself, it's just that groups of young men my age/when I'm a young adult in the streets is a whole different league compared to your usual group of high school bullies, and my whole life has just been defending myself against other children, in a safer and securer environment.

With regards to my agoraphobia, I did not have it as a child/teen at all for the most part, it's just since I'm becoming an adult, I'm far more accountable for most of my actions and, I believe that I'm more vulnerable as an adult.

If I was assaulted as a child or teen, for instance, the punishment for the adult would be far worse. If I was rudely criticized/insulted as a child or teen, it's quite possible a kind person would be more likely to come to my aid.

Now, I've got to stand-up for myself. A 20 year old is far more likely to assault another 20 year old. They would rarely target a 15 year old because it's more of a risk.

I understand where you are coming from, I was targeted by bullies when I was younger and I had to learn to make a stand against them.

It can affect the capacity to trust others and build friendships, certain people can be predatory and manipulative if it suits them. It is right to be cautious but it is also important to remember that there are good people out there, they might be rare but they are definitely out there.

Being in a social environment can be very exhausting and confusing for me, sensory and processing issues can make it very difficult to function. I experience heart palpitations, sweating and severe body symptoms when I am in a social environment and I know how difficult it can be to make friends when you suffer from social anxiety.

I am glad that you found my words helpful, I believe we should empower and nurture each other on the forums.

this forum is a lie.

Probably a better phrasing is "Less is more"

Try setting a goal for an activity that you enjoy and work towards that primarily, it helps.

I think By not conveying an interest/need in anyone you become the prize for someone else.

But be friendly too off course, just don't be too emotionally available