Messages women get in dating sites

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Sweetleaf
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15 Jun 2016, 12:31 pm

I know it can be frustrating not finding success on dating sites, experienced frustration over it myself. What I don't understand is why some of you here berate and guilt trip anyone here who has finally found success as if its our fault you guys are struggling. Also does it occur every female here who's found a boyfriend means that many guys also found success...clearly guys also find success.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Jun 2016, 12:34 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Chichikov wrote:
If you're sending messages to 100 women then you are part of the problem.


So if the guy sticks to the personalization rules perfectly, and messages only 5 girls; yet no one of them found him attractive looking enough.

What should he do? To stop online dating altogether just to avoid the judgement of Chichikov on WP?


No perhaps than message 5 more girls, problem is some guys give themselves a set amount of time they 'need' to find a girlfriend and if someone doesn't show interest within that time frame they simply give up, delete their whole profile and decide all women are shallow and only care about looks.

Really though, if ones looks are so bad it's preventing people messaging back, maybe they need to brush their hair, get a hair cut/trim, wash their face, put on a fresh change of clothes...I doubt it's some inherent hideous physical feature nothing can be done about most of the time. Of course as a rule people tend to messege people they find attractive but not sure where you get it's only physical appearance that is considered. Also, not everyone thinks the same physical features are attractive or unattractive what one woman finds unattractive could be very attractive to other women.


My tinder experiments show us constantly that what is considered attractive or not is somehow consensual among the majority of people within the same culture/sub-culture.

In a last experiment I put a fake pic of a six-packed gym trainer and it got 50+ matches in one day.

Okc isn't much different.


Yes there are norms in what is seen as 'conventionally attractive' that may apply to the majority, but everyone isn't in the majority are they. My idea of an attractive guy is probably quite different than what the majority of people on okcupid in my area would rate that way. If one isn't in the majority on a dating site, seems reasonable to seek out others outside the majority.

Also not sure where people here get the impression you can only messege the 'matches' a dating site gives you. That system very much uses majority preferences so people probably miss out on lots of fellow outliers by only contacting the matches a computer picks for you.


We are all referring to Tinder's matches; and it's not generated by a computer.
A match on tinder is when you vote a person and this person votes you as well; you can only chat with matches on tinder.



CommanderKeen
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15 Jun 2016, 5:01 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
I know it can be frustrating not finding success on dating sites, experienced frustration over it myself. What I don't understand is why some of you here berate and guilt trip anyone here who has finally found success as if its our fault you guys are struggling. Also does it occur every female here who's found a boyfriend means that many guys also found success...clearly guys also find success.

Yes, but that still leaves the majority of males using those sites without success. I can only speak for myself, but I don't blame you or any other member of this forum. I do blame the media and those who use propaganda to manipulate society, Ie governments. For the most part, I don't even like talking to women under 30.



CommanderKeen
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15 Jun 2016, 5:05 pm

How did Justin Bieber become a sex symbol? Only in this new culture were the majority of women are attracted to men more feminine than themselves, would someone like him be considered sexy. Even in the 90s, boy bands like the Back Street Boys were masculine. Brb, trying to contact aliens to send me back to the 80s.



CommanderKeen
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15 Jun 2016, 5:08 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
For example, whether on Okcupid, skout or whatever; every timr I message an Asian, there's like 99% chance that she replies - and most of them tell me I am attractive - is that a coincidence? No exaggeration, it is insane, it's like I am a sexy celeb for most of them.

On tinder when I faked location to east asian countries I got hundred of matches; is that a coincidence?

On the other hand, when I faked my location to Ukraine, Germany, France...etc I got almost zero match in all those except with few Arabs/Persians; is that a coincidence too? Are you telling me that Asian girls are less individualistic than Europeans?
Is my looks considered messy/lacking hygiene or whatever for European girls while it's totally the opposite for Asian girls?
I don't think so.

When I faked location as Houston (a highly diversified area)? with my real pic I got matched *only* with few Asians, African-americans and Latinas (despite they are the minority) - yet when I switched to a fake European-looking sportman pic, it got 50 matches in one day, most are whites; are all these coincidences?

I think I'd do well in South Korea.



Jacoby
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15 Jun 2016, 8:35 pm

I think some of the women here perceive being berated and guilted when they are not, I can't speak for what I haven't read of course but it's just different view of the world. It is stupid to hate or be angry with people over something completely beyond anybody's control, nature is nature and it would be like hating the sky because its blue or fire because it is hot.

It isn't 1 guy for every girl either, just look at our DNA! 80% of women over the course of human history have reproduced whereas only about 40% of men have, one is pursuing and competing whereas the other can just make themselves more attractive and I don't mean it has to be just in a physical sense either. A guy can work on himself all he wants but he can't ever count on anybody ever initiating a relationship with them, that's just not how most human relationships work. Maybe not 100% of the time but is 70+% a stretch? Disability adds this other layer, most women I think would reject you without a moments hesitation if they know that beforehand and sometimes it is pretty hard to hide especially when you have to explain your life circumstances.

Gender is a real thing, there are more than just physical differences and even if you disagree with these roles you have to admit their existence in human society. I feel like women feel like they need to stick up for other women and represent them, like they might get offended by a generalization about women whereas most guys are ready to throw the next dude and all dudes under the bus if need be. I think most people are pretty shallow and not all that smart or intellectually curious regardless of gender, again obviously a broad generalization but that's just the world from my view and my experience. It will probably be different 5 years from now, it'll probably be different 5 year from then.

The world in general has become a smaller more antisocial place, there are no more communities and the nuclear and extended family is mostly dead. Now we just sit in front of illuminated screens and maybe counter to popular thought but I feel like it's worst time for people like me since I feel the rest IRL has even crowded me out of the internet but I guess that's what I get for my parents letting me use the internet since I was child. I personally believe it will be the end of humanity but I think people have thought that about all types of things since the beginning of time. It is funny that they push me so hard into computers but I'd say I'm trending more Luddite every day, I hate it.



Sangsang
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15 Jun 2016, 8:59 pm

Quote:
A guy can work on himself all he wants but he can't ever count on anybody ever initiating a relationship with them, that's just not how most human relationships work. Maybe not 100% of the time but is 70+% a stretch? Disability adds this other layer, most women I think would reject you without a moments hesitation if they know that beforehand and sometimes it is pretty hard to hide especially when you have to explain your life circumstances.


The fact that people get together at all is a fairly major miracle. Let's say I find 1 guy in 10 attractive (it's way less than that) and guys find 1 girl in 10 attractive. It's a 1 in 100 chance they both find each other attractive. And that's before taking whether the person you find attractive is single, straight or even interested into consideration.



Sweetleaf
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15 Jun 2016, 10:23 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
We are all referring to Tinder's matches; and it's not generated by a computer.
A match on tinder is when you vote a person and this person votes you as well; you can only chat with matches on tinder.


Alright well I've never used Tinder, I used okcupid and the impression I got is the matches that site produced where computer generated.


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Alliekit
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16 Jun 2016, 12:31 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
We are all referring to Tinder's matches; and it's not generated by a computer.
A match on tinder is when you vote a person and this person votes you as well; you can only chat with matches on tinder.


Alright well I've never used Tinder, I used okcupid and the impression I got is the matches that site produced where computer generated.


I think there must of been some confusion because I was talking about okcupid and pof and sites like that. Ive never used tinder but I know it is more superficial



Alliekit
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16 Jun 2016, 12:36 am

Jacoby wrote:

It isn't 1 guy for every girl either, just look at our DNA! 80% of women over the course of human history have reproduced whereas only about 40% of men have


Your telling me that less than half of all men reproduce with the 80% of women? That seems a bit unlikely. May I know where you found these numbers? (I truly mean no sarcasm from this)



314pe
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16 Jun 2016, 12:56 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
Really though, if ones looks are so bad it's preventing people messaging back, maybe they need to brush their hair, get a hair cut/trim, wash their face, put on a fresh change of clothes...I doubt it's some inherent hideous physical feature nothing can be done about most of the time. Of course as a rule people tend to messege people they find attractive but not sure where you get it's only physical appearance that is considered. Also, not everyone thinks the same physical features are attractive or unattractive what one woman finds unattractive could be very attractive to other women.

Boo, see this. It's not your height at all that keeps you from finding a girlfriend. It's your haircut! :D



rdos
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16 Jun 2016, 2:51 am

Alliekit wrote:
Jacoby wrote:

It isn't 1 guy for every girl either, just look at our DNA! 80% of women over the course of human history have reproduced whereas only about 40% of men have


Your telling me that less than half of all men reproduce with the 80% of women? That seems a bit unlikely. May I know where you found these numbers? (I truly mean no sarcasm from this)


Me too. Makes no sense at all.



rdos
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16 Jun 2016, 2:55 am

Sangsang wrote:
Quote:
A guy can work on himself all he wants but he can't ever count on anybody ever initiating a relationship with them, that's just not how most human relationships work. Maybe not 100% of the time but is 70+% a stretch? Disability adds this other layer, most women I think would reject you without a moments hesitation if they know that beforehand and sometimes it is pretty hard to hide especially when you have to explain your life circumstances.


The fact that people get together at all is a fairly major miracle. Let's say I find 1 guy in 10 attractive (it's way less than that) and guys find 1 girl in 10 attractive. It's a 1 in 100 chance they both find each other attractive. And that's before taking whether the person you find attractive is single, straight or even interested into consideration.


I find at least 75% of girls in their teens, 20s and 30s attractive. The factor for me is more that only 10% are compatible (NDs).



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Jun 2016, 5:43 am

314pe wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Really though, if ones looks are so bad it's preventing people messaging back, maybe they need to brush their hair, get a hair cut/trim, wash their face, put on a fresh change of clothes...I doubt it's some inherent hideous physical feature nothing can be done about most of the time. Of course as a rule people tend to messege people they find attractive but not sure where you get it's only physical appearance that is considered. Also, not everyone thinks the same physical features are attractive or unattractive what one woman finds unattractive could be very attractive to other women.

Boo, see this. It's not your height at all that keeps you from finding a girlfriend. It's your haircut! :D


O s**t! I was so blind, how couldn't I see this? :| I need a new mirror.



Jacoby
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16 Jun 2016, 8:59 am

Alliekit wrote:
Jacoby wrote:

It isn't 1 guy for every girl either, just look at our DNA! 80% of women over the course of human history have reproduced whereas only about 40% of men have


Your telling me that less than half of all men reproduce with the 80% of women? That seems a bit unlikely. May I know where you found these numbers? (I truly mean no sarcasm from this)


http://tierneylab.blogs.nytimes.com/200 ... questions/



Alliekit
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16 Jun 2016, 10:03 am

Jacoby wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Jacoby wrote:

It isn't 1 guy for every girl either, just look at our DNA! 80% of women over the course of human history have reproduced whereas only about 40% of men have


Your telling me that less than half of all men reproduce with the 80% of women? That seems a bit unlikely. May I know where you found these numbers? (I truly mean no sarcasm from this)


http://tierneylab.blogs.nytimes.com/200 ... questions/


This is a blog to start with and is about ancestors not today's men. Statistical evidence on today's population would be more reliable.

Our ancestors had a completely different culture so this is unreliable in comparison to todays society