Do we have a chance at dating the really attractive ones?

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08 Dec 2016, 11:25 am

^I've never cared about height(though most guys and people in general even freaking adolecents are taller than me as I am just barely 5 feet tall) and I imagine there are plenty of other women who don't put all that much stock into it, certainly not to the level it would be a deal-breaker. Also though when people are just talking to friends about their preferences of what's attractive...that doesn't mean those are set in stone and they would necessarily stick to all that. Like if a woman is giggling with her friends commenting on some tall attractive guy and how his height is attractive, that doesn't mean they are saying 'I refuse to go out with anyone shorter.'

If someone really wants to have a specific height preference that their S.O has to be, and would reject anyone simply on the basis of height then I suppose its they're right....of course it could be detrimental to finding a relationship if they are too picky.

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Jacoby
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08 Dec 2016, 11:41 am

It is the same with any body shaming, obviously it is not a universal truth and you just have to go out in public to see that but it is a prejudice that exists in our culture. It's basically a crime against humanity to call a woman fat, most do not have the same sensitivity to short people.

RetroGamer87
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08 Dec 2016, 2:39 pm

It's not just girls who sometimes like tallness. So do I. I'm more attracted to tallness. I think tall girls are graceful and elegant.

I've seen some girls who are 5'9 or 5'10 say they're too tall, which I think is such a shame. It's such a shame that they think that way. Even if they were 6'2 they wouldn't be too tall.

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xxZeromancerlovexx
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08 Dec 2016, 3:47 pm

My last boyfriend was insanely attractive physically but I got to know his personality first and then I decided that he was my type physically and I loved his personality.

This whole thing about big and skinny and tall and short gets on my nerves because I care about health and personality. I'm eating healthy and exercising to get back to 190 pounds. I don't need to date a guy who eats unhealthy because I would love to date a guy where we can exercise and prepare healthy meals together.

Do people on the spectrum have a chance of dating attractive people? Yes.
Are men and women allowed to like different body types and heights? Yes.

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Evam
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08 Dec 2016, 4:09 pm

Shahunshah wrote:

Have you ever considered for once that at times we can be really the attractive ones. I knew an autistic person a year above me. This person is quirky, intelligent, funny and a little different. Because he is so confident in his own skin, relaxed and nice to be around allot of girls choose to be around this person.

Yes, I feel also sometimes particularly attracted by Aspie guys (they often mess it up though), one that comes pretty close to the person you described was rather low-functioning even.

I think if people understood better what autism is, they would be less irritated, would be able to handle problematic behavior better and would feel more attracted towards and fall in love with someone on the spectrum.

xile123
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08 Dec 2016, 4:34 pm

I've had a fair number of chances with attractive girls before but I'm too socially inept to know how to handle the situation.

GMUnicorns
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09 Dec 2016, 1:16 am

Has it occurred to those complaining about "unattractive" girls that there are females on the Spectrum and generally we are really quite nice looking? Or that perhaps unattractive attitudes attract unattractive people? Or that beauty is in the eye of the beholder?

sly279
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09 Dec 2016, 1:38 am

Alliekit wrote:

Outrider wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

Why such hate for big people? I'm not saying you have to be attracted to them but they are certainly not down grade. Everyone has that one thing and at least they can lose the weight whereas if your with someone who has extreme mental health issues it will always be prevelant.

Also many bigger people are very attractive

Its not a downgrade..

Mental illness can be treated and controlled.

If am decently fit and healthy and at the very least just want a girl not overweight. She doesn't have to care about health fitness like I do.

Besides, I prefer skinny to the point of bony girls. Not anorexic, but still skinny and boyish hips and specifically lacking...buxomness. Literal A or B cup, boyish skinny rather than feminine skinny. I don't want those skinny hot girl looking girl, I want boyish, average face, buxomless!
Overweigt girls are the complete opposite of my preference.

I am simply not attracted to any.overweight women except slightly overweight.

Also, its actually not that hypocritical, because studies have shown more women are overweight than men, and here in Oz young boys 12-18 get more activity than girls the same age, to the point there was even a health and fitness campaign for young girls and women specifically called make your move.

I think that's why I see so many young men complain about it too - obesity rate is on the rise for men and women but its women we're focusing on because that's who we're attracted to and more of them are overweight than us, and what with a minority of feminists and other women pushing all of this stupid disgusting fat acceptance movemet (notice how fat acceptance is only for women, not for men) we are defending our preferences and not surrendering ourselves. Some of us might think to accept an overweight girl is to accept obesity but even if I dated a slightly overweight girl she best be working hard to eat healthy and exercise like to do to be healthy, not half-a55ing it like Retrogamers ex gf was (ask him about her)

I thonl obeity should be approached neutrally. No shaming, but not acceptance.

Just campaignsthat say "its well proven obesity causes a variety of health issues including...here are some ways yo can eat better and schedule 30mins exercise into your daily life even if you work full time... I hope this helped and you can find the time to improve

to life today.

As for me, I'm a bigger guy with more overall size and mass than a lot of guys in the 16-20 range, but a good amount of it's muscle.

176cm, ~75kg, ~13-15% body fat. Very common body stats among boxers. Not MMa crap, just regular boxer.

I have no issue wit your preference after all that is your choice. And your right that women are naturally more likely to be obsee.

I kind of half agree with you I don't thing obesity should be encoraged because it is unhealthy however at the same time I still thing both overweight men and women can be attractive. Unfortunately shaming only increases the likely hopd of eating disorders that contribute to both obesity and the oposited end of the scale ( could not think of the right word). So I think it's important to accept all body types but still encorage a healthy lifestyle (if that makes any sense)

To be honest it may be me being a bit sensitive to the topic as I am a bigger girl and the thought of people finding me hideous is one of my biggest fears. I'm of course working towards a healthier lifestyle but have issues that contribute to my weight. I am proud to say that I have lost 12lbs in the past month though :oops:

If I remember right it's not healthy to lose more then 2 pounds a week.

I'd gotten down to 250 before this job now I'm at 294

Combination of energy drinks to stay awake for work, only having popcorn to eat while at work(I have breakfast at 5am and won't be able to eat a meal until 4pm) about 12 hours between meals so I get really really hungry. Then I over eat which is easy to do since lots of food don't fill me but are high in calories. Then there's evil pop which I've got re addicted too

and of course I get depressed and figure who cares no woman will love me anyways and eat lots of snack foods
I actually thought the job would help me lose more weight but it's just made me fatter :cry:

sly279
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09 Dec 2016, 1:40 am

I don't think I could be with a woman who's super big. From the pictures Alliekit isn't . She looked average size
It's the 300-500 pound women I don't find attractive the ones I see and wonder how they fit though doors. Like not meaning to be rude but seriously curious 0.o

RetroGamer87
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09 Dec 2016, 1:47 am

GMUnicorns wrote:

Has it occurred to those complaining about "unattractive" girls that there are females on the Spectrum and generally we are really quite nice looking?

Yes, I'm aware of that. I know some very pretty aspergirls. But I may be out of their league in the same way I'm out of pretty NT girls' league. The same principle applies either way.

If a girl is very pretty, she has high status regardless of whether or not she's on the spectrum. Just because the very pretty girl is aspie, that doesn't automatically mean she'll fall for the first low status male she sees.

I think it's very insulting and misogynistic of you to suggest a girl would be easy just because she's on the spectrum.

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RetroGamer87
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09 Dec 2016, 1:59 am

sly279 wrote:

Sly, shame on you for fatshaming 300 - 500 women! I'm fatshameshaming you! How dare you discriminate based on their appearance! Only a bigot would say such a thing! I can barely contain my outrage!! !

/sarcasm

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09 Dec 2016, 2:13 am

GMUnicorns wrote:

What's your point?

In my experiences it's aspie women that tend to end up with N.T. men and don't want to date another aspie.

It's not my fault the only aspie girl I've ever met rejected me and i see many of them say negative things about us or even if they claim they would date an aspie males they tend to coincidentally be with an N.T. man.

Yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it's this reason I find overweight or obese women unattractive.

What do you define as an unattractive attitse? That's all in the eye's of the beholder!

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09 Dec 2016, 2:16 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:

sly279 wrote:

Your anger is scaring and triggering me, I need to retreat to my safe space now at my unis Social Justice Club where I can browse tumblr on my phone without being shamed at all the offensiveness and aggression here.

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09 Dec 2016, 2:35 am

Outrider wrote:

RetroGamer87 wrote:

sly279 wrote:

Your post is very privileged because it doesn't acknowledge how oppressed middle class white women are!

Also you're being ablest because your post doesn't come with text to speech software for the vision impaired and sign language for the hearing impaired and tactile interface for the vision and hearing impaired.

I'm going to report you to the high priestess of of SJWism, her holiness, Empress Anita Sarkeesian and she's going to ban you from the Internet!

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i_am_aspie
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09 Dec 2016, 3:22 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:

I know a lot of aspies in meatspace. Some of them have partners but they're all plain looking. Most of them are quite obese. Some of them are frumpy looking.

Is this the penalty we pay for not being neurotypical? That we can't get with the pretty ones?

Is it a natural progression to go from not being able to get a date at all to barely being able to get a date but not with someone who's attractive?

Is this our lot in life?

My friend,
i am 27 years old and i am married to a slim brunette who i consider extremely attractive and i know that others do to as shes is constantly getting notes and numbers passed on to her much to the annoyance of me but i have had to take it as a compliment.

It was only when i decided that i was okay being alone and if i got lonely id buy more rabbits did she come into my life. I am firm believer in the vibe you put out is what you'll get back. People can, if only subconsciously pick up on your energy. Also you have to feel comfortable with who you are.

I was surprised that my wife actually loves my personality. Remember that we have strengths too. I am artistic, honest, reliable, loyal and that can be very attractive to some women.

I had to learn that the more you beg the universe to send you the perfect women the longer it'll take. Love yourself first or how can you expect others to love you?

My psychiatrist told me that most Aspies have one friend they consider their closest and they usually end up marrying that person. Certainly applied to me anyway. I only have 2 friends ones my wife and ones my daughter.

I wish you well and much luck in love

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Alliekit
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09 Dec 2016, 8:07 am

sly279 wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

Outrider wrote:

Alliekit wrote:

If I remember right it's not healthy to lose more then 2 pounds a week.

I'd gotten down to 250 before this job now I'm at 294

I've been pretty depressed so my eating habits have been really bad. I am working to get it as a more healthy weight loss level

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