can aspies get girlfriends

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Not really - I've only had one gf in my entire life. It is unlikely it will happen again. I am nice to people, I smile, i shower, use deodorant. But it's no mystery why I can't find one: I am incapable of keeping a conversation going (if killing a conversation were a sport, I'd be going to the Olympics) or starting one (even when there are obvious topics to talk about), I'm rubbish at meeting people and I'm not interested in any of the things most people are interested in. I don't enjoy myself at parties, I have no interest in dancing or clubbing. I could do sharing, listening and so on if I were in a relationship (I would be there for her and I would expect her to there for me), and I would be faithful, but it doesn't make any difference if you can't get into one in the first place. Friendship has more or less the same problem, so I have only one friend (hundreds of miles away).
I am unlikely to meet a girl even vaguely compatible with me because I get to know very few people in the first place and few people have anything in common.

I've only had one girlfriend in my life so far, too, and unfortunately, it was a long-distance relationship. You can guess how often sparks flew when we were dating. (Only during track meets.)

Hopefully I'll be able to meet more people when I move to a new school after this summer. However, other than that, I'm rather pessimistic about my chances of getting into a relationship.

Though I've only been in one relationship, I think I've gotten very good at sabotaging any potential ones.

Yeah. I'm trying my damnedest to relearn how NOT
to scare them away.

Well then your not an aspie, if your 25 and have had multiple success at dating and your male then there is no way you are aspie.

Autism and Asperger are diagnosed by the criteria of having low social skills and high intellect. Low social skills make it nearly impossible to land a relationship or even so much as sitting next to a girl in class without her freaking out for that matter.

Look, just because you're bitter doesn't give you the right to question the DX of other people. I have also had a few girlfriends, and I'm only 18. I am very good with social skills because my parents and I PRACTICED until it became rote (I have a better handle than most NTs I think). Of course, my first ex was an aspie, and bad experience with a break-up with her (I broke her heart, really bad). My last two were NTs, and had family members with autism, so they understood the little quirks of AS. And, if all goes right, in the next few weeks, I'll be with another NT girl.

aspergers is dignosed with a normal to slightly below normal iq and autisms dignosed with a iq below 60 or being unable to talk in some cases

Ok, my last and final comment here, but I've got to say something about this because it's f*****g absurd. This statement shows how much you know about autism (not a damn thing). Autism is defined by low social skills and high intellectual skills. Asperger is merely a form of high functioning autism.
When the brain looses social functioning it replaces it with more intelect in a trade-off. That is how it works. For you to make such a preposterous statement that we're totally inferior (that's basically what your saying), even against known information, just shows how prejudiced against autism you really are, and yet, you prance around on these boards claiming to be one. That's all, I've said all I have to say.

i do have aspergers and we are inferia autisms a brain defect its not a special superior way of being that your all telling yourselfs to make you feel better were just nts that went wrong

First of all you're both wrong. IQ is across the board, from really low to higher than Hawking. Second of all, in we do have some inferiorities. That doesn't make us inferior overall, it just makes us human. It must be lonely on your podium...

No, it's a condition that makes the brain function in a way that differs from the "norm". That's not inferior, that's just different. Implying that somebody who is autistic is in some way worse off than your average NT is fundamentally wrong.



If being this way is wrong, I don't want to be right. I'd rather be the way I am than be "normal". Screw that. Screw that sideways with a two-by-four.

I think my (aspie) boyfriend is a lot like this. He spent a lot of time when younger learning social patterns and conciously watching others to figure out what was the best behaviour in a certain situation. Now I think he's even better at it than I am, in a lot of ways! He's so used to conciously watching behaviour that he picks up on clues I miss, and he is very skilled at manipulating social groups (ie. he seems to always know exactly what to do to get everyone in a happy party mood). He's so good at it, in fact, that for the longest time I had serious trouble believing he had AS!

Reading on this board, though, I see so many attributes that are so characteristic of him that I have no doubts he is an aspie. He just put in a LOT of effort over a long period of time to learn how to deal with it. And our relationship is not all peaches and cream - it's downright tough a lot of the time, and we've been very close to breaking up several times over things that I think would have been easily avoided if not for his AS (I needed comforting, or other social behaviours that any NT would naturally do in that situation, and I didn't realise how incredibly difficult they were for him).

I guess my point is that aspies can certainly have girlfriends, but a lot of things don't come naturally and it takes a lot of hard work. And I guess that means that aspies are unlikely to have lots of frivolous relationships like many NTs do. But meaningful relationships are certainly possible, and worth it! My boyfriend is a wonderful, amazing person, and I want to be with him more than anything. Our relationship is further complicated by the fact that we're long distance - he lives 2hrs flight away from me. That's $300 every time I want a weekend with him! I'm hoping to be able to find a job and move to his city at the end of this year

have you thought that maybe its just you with the low IQ? Because what you're saying sounds pretty damn stupid to me.

I'd say im sorry for that statement, but im not. Some things need to be said.

i know i have a higher than average IQ and have learned social skills (on my own, thanks), but i switch them on and off when and how i choose (right now, its off). The girlfriend (Jellybean666) says its smart, i dont. Its just what i do. Anyway, i think that im far BETTER than normal people because of that. i can act without emotion and do things that need to be done, far better than and accurate than a normal person would do. they STRUGGLE with basic things that we dont have to. things like maths and sciences.

google aspergers for me, aspie17. See what comes up.


--Sken

I think that turning emotions off
is a dangerous practice. Cuts one
off from the true power that they
represent.

Ever tried hooking them into a relationship with sex?
That's what girls do to you, and they're expecting you to come the other way round!
Once you can reel one in, learn what they like and what's important to them,
Then you can worry about keeping them,
(and it builds your self-esteem!)