How do some people get partners so easily?

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I'm on the train and I can see the most perfect young couple making out in front me. The most gorgeous blond pashing a handsome young man.

Why is he with a girl like her? What did he do to get a girl that gorgeous. They both look to be about 20.

Now she's smiling, showing her perfect teeth and looking into his eyes.

Why him and not me? I know why. It's because I'm not as handsome as he is. It's because I'm not as fit as he is. It's because I'm not as charismatic as he is. It's because I'm not as young as he is. He's probably more educated than me. He doesn't have crooked teeth like me.

How can I blame them? It's not their fault. It's my fault. All my fault. I could have been s fit as him if only I'd exercised harder. I could have been more educated if only I'd studied harder. I could have been as young as them if only I'd started sooner. I could have started sooner if only I'd tried harder to to push through the social anxiety I had back then.

My fault. All my fault. I will never be a member of a perfect young couple like them. I may never be in. Young couple at all. Perhaps when I'm 40 I'll meet another 40 year old and we'll spend our few remaining decades together until senility takes us.

They're getting off the train now. I notice they get off in one of wealthiest suburbs in Adelaide. Very close to the beach. They're nearly home. As they walk down the platform he puts his arm around her narrow waist.

I mustn't say I want to be with a pretty blonde. Only a shallow chauvinist would say that. I mustn't say I want to be with a thin girl like her, only a misogynist troglodyte would say that. I mustn't say I'm more attracted to a 20 year old woman than a 40 year old woman, only a shallow prick would say that. I mustn't judge other people but I must accept their judgement of me.

instead of blowing off all that effort on the love and dating section of a neglected autism forum, you could have written something people will enjoy to read and that will benefit others as well as yourself.

has anyone ever told you about your skill at writing?

if only I'd exercised harder - what stopped you?

if only I'd studied harder - what stopped you?

you may never be able to turn back the clock of time, but if there's not something major i'm missing you can get working on these, now, and it will only benefit you.

you're understating it when you say I think it hurts me more than it hurts them.

it hurts you, tremendously, and it doesn't affect them at all.

That's the big one. That's the question I ask myself every day.

Was I too lazy? Did the meds I was on screw me up? Was it depression? I think a large part of it was anxiety.

After I graduated from high school I did not go to university. At the time the thought of it filled me with terror. It overwhelmed me. High school made me anxious so why would I want to go to a that makes me three times as anxious?

I thought it would be too hard for me. I thought I couldn't handle it. I may have been right. At the time. Maybe I could handle it now. Maybe not back then.

I'm sure I've grown up a lot since then yet many people are quite capable of handling it when they're 18. Have I only just reached the maturity of a normal 18 year old? That thought is too much to bear.

Not good to regret not having gone to univerity just because of getting a higher social status to get more p***y.

That's not the the reason I regret it!

How can I blame them? It's not their fault. It's my fault. All my fault. I could have been s fit as him if only I'd exercised harder. I could have been more educated if only I'd studied harder. I could have been as young as them if only I'd started sooner. I could have started sooner if only I'd tried harder to to push through the social anxiety I had back then.

My fault. All my fault. I will never be a member of a perfect young couple like them. I may never be in. Young couple at all.

Are you sure the only reason I want to have a partner is for sex?

Haha, you changed topic!

Not good to regret not having gone to univerity just because of getting a higher social status to get more p***y.

Are you sure?

Now I see what you mean. But no, I know that you also crave for youth and hotness in a partner, besides sex and companionship. And it looks like you regret going to uni because of that.

I was never very good at fiction.

That's the big one. That's the question I ask myself every day.

Was I too lazy? Did the meds I was on screw me up? Was it depression? I think a large part of it was anxiety.

After I graduated from high school I did not go to university. At the time the thought of it filled me with terror. It overwhelmed me. High school made me anxious so why would I want to go to a that makes me three times as anxious?

I thought it would be too hard for me. I thought I couldn't handle it. I may have been right. At the time. Maybe I could handle it now. Maybe not back then.

I'm sure I've grown up a lot since then yet many people are quite capable of handling it when they're 18. Have I only just reached the maturity of a normal 18 year old? That thought is too much to bear.

No it doesn't hurt them. Why would I want to hurt them? They were both smiling the whole time! Why would I want to dispel their perfect happiness?

That's only one of the reasons.

Still, why do you want someone who will be with you just because you have a piece of paper? Are we purebred dogs and we need a piece of paper to mate?

i was terrified of college as well. i mean, all throughout my school years i was told that "next school will be better, you have more freedoms!", and it was never true. in elementary school, jr high as better and it wasn't.

most of my school anxiety stemmed from people, and in college there is no one i know to cause it. it has finally become big enough. i can hide.

it might be funny hearing this from someone a decade younger than you.

some people get the urge to do so because it "brings them down".

if they can't be happy, no one can.

(i'm not saying this is you)

I was told it would be harder. I was already having a hard time so I didn't want something even more difficult.

A lot of my school anxiety came from school work.

You may be younger than I am but which of us is more mature?