Asked a girl to Starbucks, told she was married

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You're completely right to assume that and your thoughts are very honest on this, but from my experience I can't see the reason why *all* the unmarried women I've met under similar circumstances just happened to be waiting for their husbands, boyfriends, fiancees, distant cousins, accountants, unicorns from seventh dimension, <insert excuse here>. All of them. There was but one exception if I recall correctly.

Not to mention this: a girl tells me "no thanks" because she's married. A friend of mine tries the same move five minutes later and picks up the girl.

I must be a darn disgusting man to talk to and look at, eh?

Hi.

Totally agree and that's the whole point for me. "Goodbye, have a nice life". End of. She's not obliged to walk hand in hand with me because I thought it'd be awesome. In fact from what she acts like, it wouldn't!



Oh wait, hope you're not saying I'm garbage are you?

No, MK, they're just saying they're married.
It's far less awkward

What makes you think women are usually lying in situations like that? I challenge that assertion and say usually they are probably being honest.

Also I am saying its annoying when you are dating someone or in a LTR, and you let someone trying to ask you out romantically know that you're already in a relationship and they get pissed off at you because they assume you're lying. I am talking about when the person is being honest they are in a relationship...

Well yeah it certainly makes sense to wait till they say their intentions, maybe they are just trying to be friendly or maybe they want to tell me they like whatever metal band shirt I am wearing if they like the band on it. I would certainly wait till after the express intentions and that is what I did the time this happened to me.

Also, I probably wouldn't mind if they joked about hesitation, so long as they aren't being pushy or acting pissed off...basically it was the anger at me and absolute refusal to believe I wasn't available that bothered me, it was certainly a bit creepy.

I'm not "asserting". Those women all revealed the lies by contradicting themselves during the rest of the (brief) conversation or worse, I knew about the girls beforehand and they thought they could get away with a lie because they didn't know that I knew about them.

That's my experience! So you're saying that I've not been spurned all my life, it's all in my head, that they were not lying? This is becoming more like a "let's defend the poor honest girls on Earth and bash the oppressive male"!

That's how all those women now sound to me. They want me to believe their crap and once I don't buy it, they become very frustrated and try to convince me with words like that. "No wait, how can you assume? Are you thinking this straight? How can you be so sure?"

Yes I am pretty sure! Sorry if I can't believe you all but I don't!



Yes that's absolutely annoying and I agree. I've been there too. There was this girl in my postgrad *who knew* I had a gf and anyway kept on asking me out, at times with most explicit invitations to get laid, to which - believe it or not - I had to say "no" more than once... and at some point she responded to that by angrily throwing objects at my head! How's that to speak of an annoying thing?

I'm not saying people should be rude to one another. I'm saying that women in those situations they lie. I fail to see why there's a problem with my posts here... that's what women do more often than not *at least when it's me*! Sorry!

I agree, mate.

I am not saying no one ever lies about having a boyfriend, my point is more it is rude to assume any women who says shes in a relationship is lying. I didn't say all your experiences are in your head, but I still disagree that women are 'usually' lying if they say they already have a boyfriend.

Also I am specifically talking about when dealing with strangers you don't know...not people you are aware of and know enough about to know if they're lying or not though, so do keep that in mind. Also could be that is a more common lie than I was aware....I just recall my frustration with being accused of that when I was in fact being honest and trying to do the right thing by not leading them on.

I understand your point, it's very clear. My point: I don't care if it sounds rude, really sorry if it sounds like that but I don't care. I spent all my life caring not to be rude while others never think twice. I don't give a flip! Most specially to women, I don't care if I sound rude with regards to that particular point! Want to know when women came to me to tell the truth? When they knew that the truth would ruthlessly destroy me. That's my life experience, it's nothing I made up. That's how I see women now.



I'm talking about that situation as well among all the others. And yes, I see nothing wrong on telling a white lie to dismiss a stranger. So what?



That must have been really painful and it's in a heartfelt manner that I read that because as I said, I've been in a place like that as well... but sorry to insist: that happens because women resort to the "I am too busy now" and "maybe one day" tropes way too often. Anyway in these cases, a man should politely just leave. Making a fuzz while abusing the colourful words in the old dictionary is nothing we expect from a gentleman. Though there's nothing that could prevent a gentleman to think that the woman is lying.

Since the original poster isn't manifesting I think this thread looks pretty much dead to me and instead of ranting on and on about my bitterness towards past experiences, gathering enemies and people possibly thinking that I'm a stone-age misogynistic straight male ... I'll just pack it. I was about to send one more huge chunk of text but never mind, it was all becoming very tiresome.

Thank you all for your posts. I really, really enjoyed this. I'm just quitting before someone feels seriously offended for nothing. I become very passionate when expressing my points of view at times.

Heheh...I hope I'm not talking about you! No, I just mean the particularly brutal and aggressive ones out giving girls grief about their own bruised egos.

It's awful sometimes I mainly have issues with drunk guys to be fair. I had this guy once that jsut would not leave me alone even after I showed him my (at the time) promise ring.

Another guy (before I was in a relationship) would not let go of my hand after I said "I'm not looking for anything and am here with friends" (which was the truth). Like I've said I hate strangers touching me and it really freaked me out, I was proper panicking

My philosophy is "when in doubt, DON'T." Since I struggle to gauge that in women, I either wait until a later stage of familiarity with someone or until she initiates physical contact.

For guys, one issue is that certain types of relationships are fluid. Maybe she WANTS a NSA one-nighter. And it's that kind of mentality it sounds like you've fought off before. At one point in my dating life I seemed to attract the kinds of girls who were just looking for an excuse to get away from their bfs or fiances. As a rule, it's best to just respect the relationships of others.