Strange date

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He sounds like a bit of an a***hole.

Not the good bit, either.


Do not settle.

No matter how long it takes, it is worth it and you are worth it.

Many aspies would make the sort of "mistake" this guy has made. I can see myself having done the sort of thing he has done. Don't forget there's a widespread belief that aspie men are rude and insensitive. Many of us would fare no better than this guy has done. It's quite possible that many men who are technically NT but not super-smooth aren't really all that much better. I don't think we can justify being so judgmental. Throwing the first stone and all that.

His mistake was being too honest about it, most NT guys wouldn't reveal to date that she's the only option for now.

Yet, I am totally sure that 99% of average guys go on a date for a girl basically because she said YES, and therefore she IS the only option for now and better than nothing, but they won't admit it to her.

So I told him that I wouldn't be interested if that was the only reason why he was talking to me. After we talked about that, he told me that he felt like he could relate to me. Then a few days later he told me that he was worried about taking advantage of me because of the talk we had before. He said that he was only interested in short term dating and wasn't ready to settle down and have a long term relationship like I am. He also said that he was worried about wasting my time. Then he asked me if I wanted to settle down or just have some relationship experience so it seems like he's interested in being in a relationship, but only temporarily.

I'm not really sure what to do right now. I feel like I really should have some more relationship experience at my age. I also don't really know if I would be wasting time because I would probably stay single if I wasn't in the relationship. I feel like if I'm in a relationship though, there should be at least some effort made to try and stay together. I also will probably become attached.

I get the sense that you're just not feeling it with this guy.

You don't have to go out with someone you are not really into. It doesn't sound very satisfying.

I won't be a real relationship and therefore I don't know that it counts as 'relationship experience'.

With all due respect I'll disagree with the previous poster. I think it's been established that the OP is attracted enough to this guy (including personality) to date him. She says she prefers a long-term commitment but hasn't actually been in a LTR so doesn't know what that's like.

My first girlfriend told me at the beginning of our relationship that she wanted to get married. The one time I saw her after, she told me she understood how silly she had been to want that. In fact, there is no good way to know at the beginning what's going to happen.

She should just date this guy and see how it goes, instead of waiting indefinitely for the perfect suitor to show up.

Give him a chance if you are interested in him.

He might change his mind later and want something long term with you.

Either way, if it doesn't work out its not like you have to be with him.

Its actually normal for most people first relationship to last only a month or few.

You're right that experience in dating is important, but don't date him just for experience, do it if you want to actually be with him.

The fear of getting too attached is normal but a risk you must be willingto take if you want to enter a relationship with someone


I became more attached to both of my first two girlfriends than they were to me so I was hurt both times when they broke up with me, but f*ck it it was somethin to do.

If you don't want to date him, then don't.