My Partner has aspergers- the toll on my emotional health

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It's a complicated thing sly . . .. . The truth is we want both . . . .think of it like a game of ping pong .. . Back and forward communication . . . Sometimes quick bursts back and forth quickly . .. . Other time a break between games. . . . .
But your right it's confusing and all people are different in what they want

And AspieSingleDad . . .we can get there in the end . . . We can all learn from each other with persistence and a willingness to listen. Without this forum I would probably have given up on my friendship a long time ago so I thank everyone who has replied to me for that.

The primary benefit of texting for me is reminding female friends I'm alive or in town.

Otherwise it usually goes nowhere. I'm drastically more comfortable talking in person.

I've grown to somewhat ironically expect very delayed responses to electronic communication. It's really more of an issue for me than being social at all these days.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Suddenly I am craving for asparagus soup.

Hurtloam . .. . . .. I never said he HAD to text me every night . .. . . He used to do it every night without fail for approx 18 months . . .. it was his choice and something he started and continued. . . .. the issue was when he stopped doing it . .. .. . It made me think there was a problem or a reason why he suddenly stopped doing it after all that time. I then took it to mean that he had changed the way he felt about me and our friendship . . .. . .

He doesn't text me every night anymore and that is fine . . .. because I have spoken to him and I know he cares. . . .. that is the difficult bit for us NTs knowing whether you care or not. The usual signs and signals are not used . . .. .

And to be honest the wishing good night thing became a bit tiresome for me too having to reply every night. The issue for me was understanding why he had stopped and whether it meant he didn't care . . .. .

What are the usual signs?

That's the difficult thing Sly and where the confusion occurs. As an NT we take them for granted whereas neurodiverse folk don't always know they even exist. . .. . .they are subtle and I didn't really even know they existed until suddenly they weren't there in my friendship with this friend . .. . . .then suddenly I was floundering wondering what he thought of me. It's a very subtle form of communication

As an Asperger, I'm totally mystified by social typicals who complain about their Asperger "partners". How did you get so far into a relationship with a person who annoys you, or even drives you to despair? Did you just ignore their "awfulness" or did you think you could change them? That's irrational! If you want someone who constantly "emotes" all over your every need, go find someone who does that! Why "pick on" an Asperger?

We often have very deep emotions that CANNOT be expressed by superficial neurotypical social displays - and yes, there are many "neurotypical martyr" chat and forum sites on the internet where neurotypicals bash their Aspie "friends, spouses, children" etc. It's quite offensive; can you imagine people doing that to African Americans? We are people; if you don't have the time or interest in getting to know us as individuals, then that's unfortunate.

Erm . . .. . . I adore my aspie friend I just want to understand him and sometimes he confuses me

And I didn't pick an "aspie" I picked a friend who happens to be aspie