Men should advertise lack of social skill in dating profiles

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0.o

Sly, 280 lb is too much and you know that; yes you need to decrease it significantly.

Other users, please stop telling him that 280 lb is normal.

She definitely looks like she's pulling her belly in.



If that's what you want to do, do so. Just don't aim too much at an exact weight. Your built may be different than that of the guy in the photo and what looks best on you may be a bit different to what looks best on him. When you decide in some months whether you're thin enough already, pay more attention to the mirror than the scales and be realistic.

280 is heavy--but not disastrously so at 6 foot 3. He's not 280 now, anyway. I think he's closer to 240.

He can be seen as being the "gentle, teddy bear type."

How do you tell? And wouldn’t that throw off her evaluation by others?

I want to be thin so Atleast that won’t be going against me. Since both fat and thin women want thin athletic bodied guys

I’m 254 now

You're getting there, Sly.

many women will see it as a red flag.

Even mentioning mentioning it as a problem can possibly be as much of a red flag.

Oooh, an excellent post that came up while I was absent from the site.

If you don't like this idea, don't try it. But I would argue it is not inherently a terrible idea, and to explain why, I have to be a bit arrogant.

It would work on some women. For example, emmasma, and me.

Some men have responded that it wouldn't work on most women. Of course not! Most women aren't looking for a socially awkward partner. And if you are playing the numbers game, hoping that someone of the millions of unsuitable women out there will somehow like you, then don't take the advice. But what if you're not looking to date an unsuitable woman? What if you're looking for something much rarer - a compatible partner?

Perhaps she is looking for someone like you. Will you help her find you? Or will you hide yourself in the pile of "normalness/averageness" so she thinks you're just like the rest and skips past you?

I, for one, skip past the "normal" looking profiles when I do online dating. Not only do I reply to messages from those who state their quirks, but I also message them first. Of course, if these are quirks that I'm not looking for, that's different, but I'm talking about reading a profile and really getting a sense of who the person is, not just their good qualities or polished versions of their mediocre qualities, and seeing compatibility. Hott.

Now the arrogant part comes in because of course, you probably don't want to date me...but...plenty of people do! People with quirks and flaws and weird stuff in their profiles. We go on dates and often have a really nice time. IMO it's a successful tactic, this raw honesty thing, because it gets them a date with me when they wouldn't have otherwise /arrogance

But you should word it in an appealing way? Meh, just word it in a way that sounds like you. "I'm socially awkward" or "I struggle with social skills" or "I'm an aspie" all sound good to me. "I'm extremely socially awkward" also sounds fine. That person is probably not compatible with me, but would be with someone else. "I'm a social butterfly" again sounds fine, but I would immediately skip over this person while I'm sure other women would be looking for this trait. See what I'm saying? Show who you are, and attract the women who are looking for you. It may be a tiny pool of women, but by not presenting yourself to them, you could be missing out on them.

FWIW, I do. I have a line that states "I'm a good idea, poorly executed", and it has gotten a number of positive responses. From memory I also state I'm painfully honest, that I don't fit easily into this world, that I'm pernickety, that I can't live without alone time, that I work part-time and have no intention of working full-time...probably a few more things. Oh, that I'm aspie.

But they are all "weaknesses", not weaknesses, which emmasma has clarified. They aren't negative points to everyone, only to incompatible people.