Endgame

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One usually says the truth in anger moments though, was there any yelling/remark you said to your ex in your pill-induced anger moments that wasn't a truth that reflects what you really think of him?

I would prefer something more than donuts---sure.

But I'd bring something over.

The endgame mostly is only the beginning its like savage raiding or pvp needs a stealty aproach.

Now to be realistic, a coin always has two sides. The bubble phase most deffinetly is over and now whats happened is the revelation stage, the point where you guys truly meet and have weither to coope with eachother or separate if it doesnt work out.

If she has just started recently with her hormon medications it can have mental effects off the birth controll pill better she doesnt take it. It has more downside then only preventing pregnancy and the worst case shell have eventually have trouble to get pregnat.

At the other hand you guys have to be realistic and meet halfay somewhere and make a clear table means TALKING which isnt aspies strength i know but its very important in a relationship to not be afraid to be yourself nor being afraid to talk.

I wish you both good luck and may you both make it work or find the luck elsewhere.

Excellent points, Fay.

I should also point out my advice is strictly from a Western perspective. I don’t know enough about Chinese dating to be culturally relevant. No hate intended towards Asians. If an American girl treated me the way I understand Chinese girls treat their boyfriends, she’d be single in a heartbeat. From my limited understanding, an Asian gf who henpecks and neurotically jealous is more the norm and you should be worried when she doesn’t act that way, reason being those are ways in which she shows she cares about you and wants to protect the relationship. If that’s the case, you have to be extra careful with your “endgame” because revenge is EXPECTED.

If I’m correct, and assuming these aren’t just stereotypes, then she’s right when she says you should “just know” certain things without being told. You are past the point of “being in love” when she’s trying to chase you down and into the plateau phase when you have to do “couple stuff.”

My suggestion? Take her shopping and see if you can buy matching guy/girl type outfits. Carry her purse, too.

Personally, I couldn’t handle it. I had a gf’s grandmother once ask me to hold her purse and I gave her the “are you stupid?” look. Gf was appalled...at ME. I stood my ground, too, and I don’t care how old or feeble she is. No means no.

But if what to me looks like being a doormat is just part of the norm, you might have less to worry about than you think.

Well, suggesting that Retro's girlfriend is just being your average "crazy, irrational female" isn't precisely "misogyny," but it sure is in the same zip code.

If I had responded that Retro was just being your average "selfish, self-centered man" for buying his girlfriend a doughnut, the men here would be wailing and gnashing their teeth about unfair generalizations. It's one of the cute little double-standards on L&D that you can generalize about women for days, but not men.

I hope those two have settled it.

I hope Retro cooked her something nice (or at least a hamburger).

I hope she cooked something for him, too.

I hope neither give each other the “silent treatment.”

Excellent point.

And I hope I’m not one of the gnashers you’re talking about! I’m more of the what’s good for the goose attitude.

What about relating it to a culture, though? Not stereotypes but actual practice? I have no hate towards Asian people, but I’d probably have a hard time in a relationship with someone used to a certain dating style.

Closer to home, I don’t hate people based on skin color. But black communities and white communities do have different cultural expectations that I might find difficult to navigate. I would hope that alone doesn’t make me a racist. I’m starting to suspect that is a small part of Retro’s problem. But at the same time I don’t want to reinforce negative attitudes, especially if I don’t have all the facts.

I’d cook for a gf everynight

Women would like that.

The f**k are you talking about, mod? I said that her behaviour is childish and it is, bloody hell, why are you putting words into my mouth? But hey, keep defending her, I don't care.

Also if you said that Retro had been selfish and self-centered for that you wouldn't be making unfair generalization, you'd be wrong because he did absolutely nothing wrong.

So, I get called a misogynist and the mod defends who called me that.

I might get donuts for dinner. Thanks Retrogamer.

My mother used to punish me by using silent treatment, that is when she wasn't beating me up, or yelling at me (honestly, yelling was better). She used the same on my dad (not the beating up part ). Till this day I can't stand it - it's childish, it's immature, it's repulsive, and this woman acted just like that as well. Am I a misogynist as well for being repulsed by such a behaviour?

It’s all dollars to donuts for me

Weither her or his behaviour is childish or not we cant judge their situation since A: we wasnt there to experience it. B: we only know one side of the story.

Dont tell me you guys haveing the "best" relationships aka disney fairytale im not gonna buy that. Where people come together is troubles more so if different cultures come together. What we might consider as unpleasant and unpolite at the western culture can be for a man at the other side of the globe the norm. It comes down to the individuals if they want to deal with differencies in a relationship or if its a no no. If you know you cant it is better to part. A relationship is work, to differencies will always arise its a part of life, weither you take the challange to overcome it or learn a lesson and learn a value that you least desire in a relationship.

To such responses might hurt retro or even make him feel insecure, i dont know if its his first relationship.

I think Retro is okay. He can take the “heat.”

Cook her some steak next time

I'm responding to the, "Women are crazy and irrational," talk flying around this thread.

Maybe I'd be less inclined to respond at all if certain male posters would stop using any excuse to malign women. As for who was "wrong" in this situation, I have no idea because I wasn't there, and I don't know either Retro or his girlfriend well enough to make that judgement (and neither do you).

How about everyone stops trying to turn this into yet another Men v. Women thread, and we focus on helping Retro? Thanks.